Just about every shift I have, I can clock out from with another story of the ridiculous, stupid, or maybe just BIZARRE variety that our small town has within its borders. This is where my stories come from. I am NOT making this stuff up! People really are like this. I’ve decided to share some of these and hopefully bring some smiles to the rest of humanity. So sit back, have a laugh, and try not to wet yourself.
Show and Ride
One day, I’m standing at the front lanes (where
you check out), and this large tour bus group comes bursting in our doors. The
types of people on this particular bus were foreigners on vacation.
One elderly gentleman walks over to me shaking. He
asks, “Do I show you my ID?”
“Show me your ID? Why?” I’ve lost the plastered on
smile I wear while working and have completely opened up to show my confusion.
“Yes, this. My ID, here.” He hands me this piece of paper that is in Spanish.
From it I can tell only that he had Parkinson’s disease, his name, and the
country he came from. I again asked why he was giving me his identification
paper. “I want to drive cart with motor.” He starts pointing his shaking finger
at the motorized carts parked nearby.I had to fight from busting out in laughter. “No, sir. You do not need an ID to drive that.” We walk over to them. I make sure it’s unplugged and tell him he can ride it now. “Is hard to drive?” Now I’m doing a mental head slap imagining this guy crashing into everything around the store or mowing people down. I would much rather someone push him around in the cart with the kiddie seats attached but suggesting such a thing might cost me my job…
So now begins the process of explaining how to use
it... “First you have to sit down. Then you switch this to the ‘On’ position. These
levers are for forwards and backwards. Just turn the handlebars to turn.”
“So
like this?” The cart lurches forwards then jerks backwards. He gets this
frightened look, but tries again. A huge smile spreads across his face and I
begin to wonder if I just signed someone else’s death warrant. Maybe he should drive with the guy who rides his lawn mower to the store to do his shopping.