Finding that perfect guy



Falling for the Casanovas of today is a dangerous game. So many guys are only out there looking to add another notch on their belt. So if you are tired of having your heart broken or leaving a relationship feeling broken and used… maybe it’s time you tried a new approach.

Find a guy, and I know they are rare (but they do exist!), who holds fast to chivalry. What is chivalry?

What is Chivalry? The definition is as follows:

chiv·al·ry

o    The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

o    Courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women.

 

synonyms:	gallantry, gentlemanliness, courtesy, politeness, graciousness, good manners
antonyms:	rudeness

Why? He will treat you like his queen. He’s the type of guy that will be there for you when you need him most. Sometimes without you even telling him that something is wrong. He takes the time to get to know you enough that he can tell when something is wrong with you. He’s that guy who speaks with words that seem old fashioned. And no, I don’t mean that he will use some fake but fancy accent when he talks. He is sincere. His compliments are rich. They are well thought out. And every bit of them is tailored to you. He does things that he knows you need done without asking, telling or making a big deal of. Know what I love? Having him make my bed, tighten that loose door handle, or wash the left over dishes when I’m not around. I don’t say anything. I don’t have to. He knows what I need done and he does these and more for me. And he doesn’t say anything about it. No, “Hey, by the way, I did such and such for you.” He doesn’t seek praise for these little things. He leaves them like sweet surprises for me to find later. That’s what a truly good guy who understands chivalry will be like. That’s what you should be looking for.

Don’t go for that guy who looks amazing but talks like an airhead. Give him 10-20 years depending on his lifestyle and you will have a sagging loser that you can’t believe you had a crush on way back when. And watch out for the sweet talkers who can’t back up their words. Words are only words until they are backed by actions that demonstrate them. Love is an action. The word itself is a verb, not just a noun. It’s what you do to show how you feel that makes it true.

Not the words that give you goosebumps. Or those that make you all giggly. Look for the one with words that warm your heart. That makes you feel proud of yourself. Building you up without being empty, fluffy statements. So the guy who says, “You’re hot!” versus that guy who says, “You’re beautiful.” is how you can tell who is more sincere. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I want to be told I’m hot, but only in the right moment. Tell me I’m beautiful and I’m more likely to listen to you. When you are told you are beautiful, chances are stronger that he sees the beauty shining from within. Hot is what he calls you when he wants to get laid.

I asked a modern “knight” what chivalry meant to him. His response was as follows:

“It opens the door for a much deeper relationship. It also allows one’s mind to be open to new possibilities. To act chivalrous, one has to think in a different manner. Meaning that it takes the mind to new areas of itself that aren’t usually stimulated during adolescence. This effect is amplified when this individual is also learning so much more about the woman he’s interacting with. It allows him to learn and grow in new ways.”

This, ladies. This is what men of today are missing. This is what women should be looking for. This is where you will find the lasting, lifetime of true love with your best friend.
This Valentine's Day, I spent with my gentleman. He and my mother bought me Star Wars themed gifts for my new kitchen.

(They know me so well!) He made me dinner, helped with the laundry, and had flowers (Don't buy ProFlowers) delivered.

He also had Shari's Berries deliver chocolate covered strawberries.

Talk about delicious....

Also, for those who love historical tidbits... Click here to get the scoop on how Valentine's Day got started! Kinda a dark event...

Where have our virtuous values vanished to?

Once upon a time...
We have all heard stories that start with those words. Nowadays it's the title of a hit TV show depicting classic fairy tales with a modernistic twist.

They are also typically the beginning of tales concerning bravery, honor, dignity, honesty and chivalry. Whatever happened to those virtues?

A man who would brave the monsters or stand before an army showing no fear, only courage, to his enemies. Women with honor worth fighting and dying for. Anyone ever heard of the old common law - You touch her, you marry her? Shot gun wedding? Even if you don't like musicals, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is where I first learned the terms. I'm not a big musical fan, but that was one I could watch over and over. Historically, if you "touched" her, your choices were to marry her with her dad standing ready with his shotgun or he would hang you from the nearest tree.

Dignity is a word that most people these days probably don't even know the meaning of. "Dignity - the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect." Once upon a time, you earned high esteem and respect by the way you acted towards and treated others. Just as the Golden Rule says: do unto others as you would have done unto you.
How many people these days feel guilty when they tell a lie? When I was growing up, there was no such thing as a white lie. You either tell the truth or you don't. And yes, sometimes the truth hurt. Sometimes people get their feelings hurt because they can't handle the truth. Or they just don't want to accept it. Does that mean we should just baby their feelings? I think not. It's raising a generation of pansy-hearted fools who want to live in a day dream of over-inflated egos.

Chivalry, according to the dictionary means courtesy towards women. It was more than opening a door and letting a woman pass through first. A gentleman would lay down his cloak or coat over a mud puddle so that a lady wouldn't soil her petticoat. He would go that extra mile just to put her mind at ease or to see her smile. Don't get me wrong, I don't think women should be as weak as they once were. Fainting at the sight of blood? No, thanks. Nor would I want two guys to duel over my affections and have the winner (whoever was still alive) calling claim over me afterwards. It's the passion and honor though that has been truly lost. And to be honest, women may have been the ones who pushed it all away. Women fought for equality, which is fine in some areas. But we keep pushing. If a man holds the door open for the wrong woman, the response might be something along the lines of, "What? I can't open my own door?" when it should have been, "Thank you."

Today we have STD's running rampant, young girls becoming single mothers, guys chasing what's considered "easy tail", lying about anything and everything as easy as if they were telling the truth, stealing as though everything in the world belongs to them...

What happened? Will we ever truly see the once upon a time moments return? Or will they only appear in the handful of people who are still holding fast to the beauty of an age long past? They seem to be prominent in movies, television and books but the response to them is, "It's just a work of fiction. None of that is true. That doesn't happen in real life."
I hope everyone that reads this, takes a good look around them. I hope you pay more attention to others. Be a little more mindful of how you act and treat those you come in contact with. Who knows? Maybe we can revive old virtues once again.