Ridiculous Ramblings in Retail part 4: Are You Security?

So, you know I work in retail. I’m a security guard in retail. I wear a Navy blue uniform with a badge and name tag, carry a mini Mag Lite and even a pair of real handcuffs. Most days I can stand for hours in the front and basically people watch. You strike me as suspicious or look like our “regulars” I might even follow you through the store.
This is what I really look like at work. Remember this for later:

One nice day, I’m trapped inside watching everyone coming and going. This guy had just finished buying his stuff and walks towards me as he heads out the door.

A puzzled look crosses his face. “Are you security?” (Remember the picture above??)

In my head I’m saying, “No, I just randomly dress like security and waste nice days inside.”

“Yes, sir, I am,” I reply with my plastered on smile.

“Well, you are the cutest security guard I have ever seen,” he says with a wink.

What?! Cute?? I’m going for intimidating!!! Security guards aren’t meant to be cute. Okay maybe the really hot guys with guns are classifiable as cute, but not the skinny chick wearing hand me downs from the previous guy guards.

“Why, thank you, sir.” I have to be nice after all. Its retail, dont'cha know!

About five minutes later, another guy walks in.  This one is older, wearing a black shirt that says CATS (yes, as in the play) across the front and has eyes in the back. He stumbles my way and gets just a little closer than I’d like. “Are you security?” Alcohol breath flows hot and heavy into my face.

I’m strongly tempted to reply with a sarcastic, “Nope. I’m just playing dress up as a security guard today. Tomorrow I’ll be a princess with a purple pony.”

“Yes, sir. I’m security. Can I help you with something?”

“Well, if I ever get arrested, I hope you’re the one arresting me!”

*Insert metal head slap here* This is probably what he thinks he sees:

“Where’s the pharmacy at?”

I point and give directions. He leans too close and looks at where my finger is pointing.

A few minutes go by and he comes back by. I get a call warning me about a drunk who just bought cough syrup wearing a CATS shirt. Good times people. Now if they will just let me come to work looking like this....

Ridiculous Ramblings in Retail part 3: The Missing Car Dilemma

I'm all for elderly having their independence and keeping their rights to live like they want. Just not when they can't remember something as simple as what they drove to the store in....
It's a nice afternoon. I'm standing at the front watching people as they come in and go out. It had been relatively peaceful that day.
The cart attendant comes up and asks if I was going to help "that lady". *Insert confused face here.*
"What lady?"
"That one". He points to the side door where two women are standing practically blocking the entrance.
"Which one? There are two. And why does she need my help?"
"I walked the whole parking lot with her because she lost her car."

Lost her car? I'm doing a mental forehead slap here as I walk over to this lady. She's got a cart full of merchandise that she just bought. She's blocking the entrance, talking to this other woman that's on the phone.
"Can I help you with anything?"
"Oh, yes! I can't find my car. I'm certain I parked it right here in front of the doors. And now it's not there!"
The other lady asks if she's sure it was the black car.
"Yes! I only have a little black car. I don't have another." The lady insists there's only one car.
"What about the green Miata? The dark green one?"

"I don't have a dark green car. It's black."
"Well, ma'am. I'd be happy to help you look for your car if you wanted me to." I mean that's my job, right? Helping people no matter how crazy they are...
"Oh that would be wonderful! Would you please?" She tries to turn and walk out the entrance doors only to find they won't open.
"Ma'am, the exit doors are this way."
We finally get outside and she keeps giving me the same description of a "little black car" that she "parked right here in front". We are standing at the side entrance though. I point to each black car I see and she keeps saying, "No, that's not it."
I'm beginning to think a cab would be a wonderful suggestion for her. We slowly go around to the front. I see a dark green Miata parked halfway down the lot to the side of the entrance. "Is that it? Oh wait, you said it was a little black car. That's a dark green Miata."
"Where?" She squints and puts her hand over her eyes even though dusk has already fallen. "Oh, my gosh! That's it! That's my car! How'd it get there? I thought for sure I parked closer to the door."
Another mental head slap.
"Thank you so much!"
Someone please take away her license before she forgets how to drive.

Keva Structures game review from MindWare Toys

I'm a home schooling mom of three. While my two boys are still preschool level, I use every opportunity I can to teach and enrich their knowledge. Children learn more from birth to five years old than they learn their entire life after. They have minds like sponges, soaking up concepts that we as adults might not understand. For my boys' learning, the best way to teach is through hands on activities. They are hyper active and don't like sitting still for long without some kind of stimulating exercises. MindWare sent me the Keva Structures game for a review.

It comes with 200 pine wood planks and a guide book with ideas for building. There is no messy glue, no connector pieces. Just wood and imagination!

I love these. Growing up, my dad had a wood shop. When he had small pieces of wood left over from a project he would let us play with them. In our minds it was more fun than any multi-gadget toys and noise makers. These planks smell like fresh pine. They are smoothly cut so as not to give little fingers splinters. They provide hours of quiet fun.

They actually used Keva planks to construct the worlds tallest Keva Structure in the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C.. It was 51 feet, 8 inches tall! They used 5,123 planks and took 13 hours to build it.

Even my baby girl wanted to join the fun!

When the fun is all done, the kids get a chance to pick them up and practice their packing skills to fit everything into the box neatly. This game requires concentration and helps to refine motor skills as they design and build amazing structures.

As an added bonus, they also sent a sampler book of their MindWare Brain Teasers.

Extreme Dot-to-Dot anyone??

Highly detailed coloring pages.

And Venn Perplexors to really boggle the mind.

Everything at MindWare is based on learning and exploration. You can check out their website, Facebook or their Twitter to keep up with specials and news.  

Ridiculous Ramblings in Retail Returns (say that 5 times fast)

I thought you might enjoy another dose of humor. So here is a days worth of fun (triple bonus!). Hope you enjoy!

Popcorn brings out the strange in people….

I was standing at the front by the checkout lanes. Behind me is the Cafe. The gentleman working in there comes out to stand next to me and chat. An older lady comes up to us wanting popcorn.
"Right this way, Miss and I can get that for you," the employee says.
"What sizes do you have?" She asks.
"We have one size; small, medium and large - all rolled up into one," he tells her.
"I want a small!"
I couldn't help myself, I just had to walk away laughing.

Earlier that same morning there was someone else that went into the Cafe wanting popcorn. A deaf girl who was with her grandmother decided to pop in on their way out. Both were signing away as they finished checking out. As they neared the doors to exit, the girl stops and tells her grandmother she's going to get a drink and popcorn. The grandma says sure, go ahead.
So in walks the girl and orders her drink and a small popcorn. The lady behind the counter takes her order and hands her a cup. Then she pulls out the popcorn bag and fills it to almost overflowing. As the girl walks back to her grandmother, she has a puzzled look on her face. Her grandma asks why she got a bigger size.
"I didn't! I ordered a small and this is what the lady gave me."

That day must have been Crazy for Popcorn Day. And from it I have a third interesting fellow to tell you about.
He walks in and orders popcorn. But he tells the employee behind the counter that he only wants popcorn that is all the same color.
He wanted only buttered (yellow) or non-buttered (white) pieces in his bag.
"I'm sorry sir, I can't separate the popcorn. It comes as I scoop it into the bag."
A suggestion was made that we give him two bags: one full of popcorn, the other empty. Then he can separate his own!

Costume Discounters.com Child Rose Princess dress review

Looking for that perfect costume for Halloween this year? Or perhaps you are looking for just an affordable one for your kids to play in? I was recently offered the chance to review a costume from Costume Discounters.com. They have a wide variety of costumes for every age, gender, size and style you could search for. I chose the Child Rose Princess costume.

It’s such an adorable little dress that comes with a fiber optic system in the skirt that makes it sparkle! I can’t show you how it sparkles as the dress I was sent was a tester one and the batteries were dead. But I promise to update this posting if I get batteries for it later. The dress is made from standard costume materials but is well able to withstand some wear and play. It has great details to make your little princess shine. The material is also breathable so she won't be sweating while she imagines. There is a solid pink skirt with sheer tulle overlay. The rose at the waist and trimmings around the neckline, arms and waist line add such details to make this dress absolutely adorable.
I love having costumes around for the kids to play in as it encourages the imagination to roam free and creativity to grow in children. There have even been Camden scholars speaking about the Disney Princess culture and how it relates to today's young girls. Playing dress up not only provides fun, but helps girls feel beautiful at a young age. It gives them that strong and powerful feeling when they are in charge of the events in their pretend stories.
My sister was my assistant in testing this one out. She was such a little cutie who looked like a beautiful princess indeed.

Right now, there is a promotion going on. Costumes that are $20.00 and more are 20% off when you enter the code FUN20. Also, Costume Reviewers has a contest for customers as well as us bloggers where they will randomly select 2 $100 winners. Just an added bonus! 8-)

Ridiculous Ramblings in Retail

I’m back to working in a large, nationwide retail store. While retail can have its boring days, you set up a good sale or have boring weekends in town - people come out of the woodwork to shop. Or in some cases... Tornado weather strikes and people decide, "I've just got to have that bicycle!"
Just about every shift I have, I can clock out from with another story of the ridiculous, stupid, or maybe just BIZARRE variety that our small town has within its borders. This is where my stories come from. I am NOT making this stuff up! People really are like this. I’ve decided to share some of these and hopefully bring some smiles to the rest of humanity. So sit back, have a laugh, and try not to wet yourself.

Show and Ride

One day, I’m standing at the front lanes (where you check out), and this large tour bus group comes bursting in our doors. The types of people on this particular bus were foreigners on vacation.

One elderly gentleman walks over to me shaking. He asks, “Do I show you my ID?”

“Show me your ID? Why?” I’ve lost the plastered on smile I wear while working and have completely opened up to show my confusion. “Yes, this. My ID, here.” He hands me this piece of paper that is in Spanish. From it I can tell only that he had Parkinson’s disease, his name, and the country he came from. I again asked why he was giving me his identification paper. “I want to drive cart with motor.” He starts pointing his shaking finger at the motorized carts parked nearby.
I had to fight from busting out in laughter. “No, sir. You do not need an ID to drive that.” We walk over to them. I make sure it’s unplugged and tell him he can ride it now. “Is hard to drive?” Now I’m doing a mental head slap imagining this guy crashing into everything around the store or mowing people down. I would much rather someone push him around in the cart with the kiddie seats attached but suggesting such a thing might cost me my job…

So now begins the process of explaining how to use it... “First you have to sit down. Then you switch this to the ‘On’ position. These levers are for forwards and backwards. Just turn the handlebars to turn.”

“So like this?” The cart lurches forwards then jerks backwards. He gets this frightened look, but tries again. A huge smile spreads across his face and I begin to wonder if I just signed someone else’s death warrant. Maybe he should drive with the guy who rides his lawn mower to the store to do his shopping.

Cool Gear Chiller review

I feel guilty buying drinks on the go. More bottles that might end up in the trash, more money I have to shell out that I could be saving. So I usually try to bring my own. I fill it up with water and keep it in the refrigerator so it's cold when I want it. The first reusable cup I had was a tumbler I'd gotten in a freebie giveaway. The first time my son dropped it, it was history. I ended up winning another free one later on, but I have to keep it from the kids since it’s just another cheap one that would be easily broken. I went searching for more family-oriented gear. That's when I came across Cool Gear. They offer a wide variety of products for the whole family. Bottles, cute lunch bags, water filter bottles, travel mugs, storage options, customizable, and more for you to check out.

As the name says, they have lots of cool gear that's family friendly. Bright colors, styles, and uses that make it easy to find the right kind for each individual. They sent me a 20 ounce Chiller that I really love.

Vibrant orange with a tropical flower design all around it comes with a sturdy patterned grip so I won't have to worry so much about little butter fingers getting ahold of it. It has an inner layer with gel to keep my drink colder, longer. I enjoy taking it to work. It even brightens the office while keeping me hydrated and ready for action. It has a seal in the lid to keep liquid from leaking out.

I like this because if my boys get my cup and accidentally tilt it over while drinking, it's not as likely to make a huge mess that I'll have to clean up. It comes with a hard plastic reusable straw.

The straw has a large rounded out edge on the bottom so that the straw can’t just slide out if your cup gets titled over by the little bandits. If for any reason you do lose a part such as your straw or lid, they have the replacements parts! They have so much to offer for those trying to cut back on waste and keep the healthy lifestyle. Check them out and tell me what you think in the comments below! Connect with them on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, LinkedIn, as well as Statigram.

***This product was sent to me free for the purpose of writing this review. I was not otherwise endorsed or told what to say. All opinions stated are strictly my own.***