The Mask is on

Do you ever feel that every day and every moment needs to be portrayed as going well? That you have to keep up good appearances to the world around you better? That’s my outlook. The world has enough darkness. There is enough pain, hurt, and sadness to go around. So someone has to shine through it all. Someone has to offer that glimpse of joy that makes others smile. I’m not a clown, by any means. I’m the complete opposite actually. I’m not full of jokes. I’m sarcastic. I don’t like people. I like being alone. It doesn’t help me get out of the darkness when I’m alone, but it helps to avoid making it worse when the people who are offering advice or trying to help only make it worse…

You know that saying, “Sometimes the ones who smile the most, are the ones who hurt the most on the inside”? It’s true. They put on a mask and always give off that happy-go-lucky attitude that is expected of them. Do you ever wonder how they do it? Here’s a secret… they sometimes cry themselves to sleep.

When they have a bad day, they try not to include anyone in it. They tell themselves its fine. Everyone has bad days and they all come to an end. They take every task in the queue, one by one, and get through it. Someone smiles at them, they smile back. Someone asks how they are doing, they answer with “doing good, thanks”. And for the most part, no one notices that it is all an act. Why? Why can’t people see through it?! I tell myself that it is because I’ve gotten good at the act. I’ve practiced it so well. Got it down to the last faked laugh. Then I finally collapse at the end of the day and hope for a better day tomorrow. I cry and tell myself to stop being so pathetic. If I slip up and actually talk to someone about what is going, I feel worse. Not only am I feeling bad, but I’m telling someone else and they will probably feel bad. I’m spreading the bad instead of promoting good. I’m burdening them. They can’t do anything about it. They can’t offer anything more than, “It’s going to be okay”, “Just breathe, you got this”, or “It happens, get over it”. That last one is my favorite. Why? It further reminds me I’m sounding like a pathetic whiner. “Cry yourself a river, build yourself a bridge, and get over it.”

Today started off all wrong and has continued to go uphill. Haven’t even hit the crest yet. On the radio, they said today was National “Get Over It” Day. Sorta fits. Tell myself to get over it. Stuff is hitting the fan and I have to suck it up. Put on the big girl panties and throw back. Right? That’s not how I feel inside though. But that’s how I’m trying to look on the outside. I’ve quit answering the text messages. Not talking to anyone on Facebook. I’ve decided to put the walls up and take the battering rams out against the projects I’m faced with. It will be a long day. And I know that eventually it has to end. Until then, I’ll put on the mask. I will be that light in the darkness. I don’t suggest walking towards my light though. Just take it as a beacon of hope through the chaotic seas of the daily grind. If I slip, and the weakness I feel within shows, just act like you didn’t catch it. For the sake of my pride.
Have a great day, folks! It can’t last forever.

“Humility doesn’t mean you think less of yourself, but that you think of yourself less.”

“Humility doesn’t mean you think less of yourself, but that you think of yourself less.” Facing Your Giants

Read that statement again. What does it mean to you?

I’m still reading Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado. The latest chapter I’ve finished was on the above point. We get so caught up in ourselves, our doings, in our accomplishments… that we think of ourselves as being higher and mightier than others. Do you ever think you are better than the waitress at your favorite restaurant?  Do you get annoyed with the flight attendant when she takes too long to bring your drink or forgets your blanket? Do you get irate when the cashier makes a mistake on your order? I know I have. I’m in a hurry. Maybe I know how to do their job more efficiently than they do. Maybe I just ran out of patience. And let’s face it, I’m the client. You serve me. My needs come as a priority. Don’t they?

What other ways do I feel superior? Maybe when faced with someone who truly is stupid? Let’s clarify something before I move on from that though… Ignorance is the absence of information. Stupidity is the presence of knowledge but the refusal to use it. Know anyone like that? So let’s say I am forced to interact with them. What’s the attitude I find myself taking? You got it. I’m better than they are. I can do that better than they can.

But what should I be doing? Remembering that I am no better than anyone else would be a great start. That some people are “special” and should be treated as such. I’m not any more than anyone else in this world. I am me. I’ll admit, I am talented. I am intelligent. I won’t boast about it, though. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve argued with friends that I’m nothing special. Its this mindset that I need to stay in. I need to stay humble.

Lucado goes on to say that we should come down to the lower levels with our pride. When we rise too high, we can't hear or see others. We miss what is truly going on because we are too caught up in ourselves. "You'll be amazed what you hear and who you see. And you'll breathe a whole lot easier." You won't be trying to always impress others. You can just be you.

I don't think of myself as being less. I just need to think of myself less.

 

hu·mil·i·ty

[(h)yo͞oˈmilədē]

 

NOUN

1. a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

National Pancake Day!

Today, March 8, 2016, you can get a free short stack of buttermilk pancakes from Ihop! This is from 7 AM to 7 PM.

"Today is the day to get a free short stack of buttermilk pancakes*
between 7 AM and 7 PM at IHOP^®. Then, consider leaving a donation to
Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals^® or other designated local charities.
Together with guests like you, we’ve raised nearly $20 million since 2006—
one free short stack at a time. Now that’s the power of pancakes!"

 

So check it out and feel free to share pictures of it! I'll create a new post if you do with pictures and locations. You can email me at texanmama08 at gmail dot com.



Discouragement is only a state of mind

The sales business world is a fast-paced highway. One that we have to keep up or be left behind on. Whether you are working in an office or working face to face with your customers, you have to keep upbeat and ready to take to the fast lane. I’m used to working one-on-one in person with people. I can handle that with ease. Even though I’m an introvert, I can still find ways to connect and get over my anxiety of strangers.
My job is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and learn to connect via phone calls and emails. There isn’t a face attached to the name. There isn’t always a voice to that name either. I’m calling complete strangers to talk about my services, but I have to do so in a way that benefits them and not me. Conflicted about this, I do feel. Cold calls are the worse. I’m calling someone who might know nothing about my company. I’m pitching them information about my services. 9/10 times, I don’t even get an answer. I get a voicemail. It’s impersonal, cold - just a machine. How do I tackle this one?! My supervisor and manager have been helpful in assisting me with coaching’s on a great script. Clearly and concisely, I can deliver my points and try to slip in something personal. But still. When you get so many voicemails, you feel like a recording. And then when those who actually answer the calls are saying they have no need for you and know no one else they can refer you to… It gets discouraging. You have to find the will to keep calling. To keep trying. To keep going after cold leads. After about 10 calls, I am ready to quit. According to a recent Dale Carnegie training I took, I have to have a goal. I also need an enemy. A reason to keep pushing forward regardless of what it looks like or what is said about what I do. I have a few tactics. I tell myself that these dead calls could come back fruitful in a month. Or I look at the pictures hanging on my cubicle wall of those I work hard to provide for. I have goals. To own a large enough home for my kids to have their own individual rooms. I plan to be financially independent so that I don’t have to rely on assistance from anyone, but can instead be the one giving to others in need. My enemy? Don’t laugh, but I use my ex-husband as my enemy. I tell myself that I will show him that I don’t need him, his money, and that I will never be some doormat to him ever again.
So back to my title. It’s a state of mind when you feel bogged down. You have to tell yourself you will succeed. That everything you are doing is going to work out for the better. Nothing you put your hands and mind to is failing. It is merely looking for that loophole to success. You can fall into a slump. But you better remind yourself to get up out of that rut and get back to work. Kick yourself in the pants or ask someone you trust to kick you. Otherwise you are bound to fail. Trick your mind into seeing the future you want and push on. Its there for the taking.