As a parent, I have to learn to step back and let my children grow. They have to learn some things by experience. Part of that is getting bumps or scrapes. Its those awkward moments of meeting another child and finding out how to interact with them. This is what Twigtale expert, Dr. Wendy Denham, PhD had to say on this issue:
Tuesday Toddler Tip – Let It Be, Knowing When Not To Step In
Like the Beatles said… one of the most important things parents have to learn is when not to step in to the rescue. Tempting as it may be!
Try not to rush in and save your child from uncomfortable experiences, whether it be an awkward social interaction at the park, difficulty holding a crayon or figuring out how to use a toy. These experiences provide invaluable learning experiences for your child in seeing that they (and you!) can survive these feelings, and that feelings (even hard ones) come and go. This builds frustration tolerance and an ability to persevere through difficulty. If you’re not sure what to do, try narrating their experience. This can be just the facts, eg. ‘You’re really trying to hold that crayon and it keeps falling down’. Or maybe you notice how they’re feeling eg. ‘you’re really frustrated because you’re trying to hold that crayon and it keeps falling down.’ Your child will feel like you are paying attention, and that you understand. You are helping to give them the tools and introduce them to the all important language of feelings and emotions.
Toddler Tip brought to you by our new Twigtale child development expert Dr. Wendy Denham, PhD.
The other post I thought was a good one, was posted by the Twigtale Team:
1) Focus on the Internal, Not External
One suggestion Tandy had to help our daughters cope with modern society’s obsession with aesthetics is to avoid focusing on their looks. Instead, focus on something from within. Instead of saying “you look pretty in that dress,” try saying “oh, you look happy in that dress.” It will help your daughter learn to find pride in who she is, not what she looks like.
2) Celebrate Your Daughter’s Emotions – ALL OF THEM!
Help them learn it is ok to be angry and assertive! Tandy suggests that the “mean girls” phenomena is likely a result of parents telling their daughters to “be nice” and “good little girls.” These statements teach girls to internalize their anger. We need to teach our daughters how to openly, and appropriately express their emotions – which will lead to more confident girls with better conflict negotiation skills.
3) Activity and movement is key!
We need to encourage our daughters to move their bodies, so they ultimately have confidence in their physical skills, develop assertiveness and learn to take appropriate physical risks. Helping your daughter find confidence in her physicality is a great way to combat society’s unhealthy image of beauty and sexuality.
Tandy Parks, MPH is a parent educator in Santa Monica. She hosts multiple discussion groups for parents every month. She also is available for individaul consultation: http://tandyparks.com/index.htm
Try not to rush in and save your child from uncomfortable experiences, whether it be an awkward social interaction at the park, difficulty holding a crayon or figuring out how to use a toy. These experiences provide invaluable learning experiences for your child in seeing that they (and you!) can survive these feelings, and that feelings (even hard ones) come and go. This builds frustration tolerance and an ability to persevere through difficulty. If you’re not sure what to do, try narrating their experience. This can be just the facts, eg. ‘You’re really trying to hold that crayon and it keeps falling down’. Or maybe you notice how they’re feeling eg. ‘you’re really frustrated because you’re trying to hold that crayon and it keeps falling down.’ Your child will feel like you are paying attention, and that you understand. You are helping to give them the tools and introduce them to the all important language of feelings and emotions.
Toddler Tip brought to you by our new Twigtale child development expert Dr. Wendy Denham, PhD.
The other post I thought was a good one, was posted by the Twigtale Team:
Guest Post: How To Raise Clear, Confident & Kind Girls
Raising a Girl: A Blog Entry from our Twigtale Co-founder.
Raising two daughters, in LA, in the 21st century? Terrifying. I jumped at the chance to attend, Tandy Parks‘ class on “Raising a Girl.” She had awesome suggestions on how to raise “clear, confident and kind” girls, and below are 3 of my favorite take-aways.1) Focus on the Internal, Not External
One suggestion Tandy had to help our daughters cope with modern society’s obsession with aesthetics is to avoid focusing on their looks. Instead, focus on something from within. Instead of saying “you look pretty in that dress,” try saying “oh, you look happy in that dress.” It will help your daughter learn to find pride in who she is, not what she looks like.
2) Celebrate Your Daughter’s Emotions – ALL OF THEM!
Help them learn it is ok to be angry and assertive! Tandy suggests that the “mean girls” phenomena is likely a result of parents telling their daughters to “be nice” and “good little girls.” These statements teach girls to internalize their anger. We need to teach our daughters how to openly, and appropriately express their emotions – which will lead to more confident girls with better conflict negotiation skills.
3) Activity and movement is key!
We need to encourage our daughters to move their bodies, so they ultimately have confidence in their physical skills, develop assertiveness and learn to take appropriate physical risks. Helping your daughter find confidence in her physicality is a great way to combat society’s unhealthy image of beauty and sexuality.
Tandy Parks, MPH is a parent educator in Santa Monica. She hosts multiple discussion groups for parents every month. She also is available for individaul consultation: http://tandyparks.com/index.htm
