Oh those cravings....

Ever have a craving for something that you couldn't explain? And no, I don't mean when you are pregnant. I came home one night with the thought of fresh brownies. Or chocolate cake. I really wanted some. My husband had the Freshly Picked Strawberries candle burning and instant ramen in the microwave. Now don't ask me why, because I still haven't been able to wrap my head around it, but I thought the smell was too close to that of freshly baked brownies. Suddenly I wanted to bake. But being that I'm moving, I don't have much in the way of baking supplies piled up like normal. I had a cake mix though. So I went online to do some research. I found a recipe that used a cake mix, 1 egg, and 1/2 a cup of butter to make cake mix cookies. On top of that, I had Hershey kisses and M&M's.

They came out so well (yes, I'm so proud!).

Have a recipe to share? Email it to me at texanmama08 at gmail dot com. I'll share it and possibly try to make it as well.  

It's moving time again....

May I just start by saying... I HATE moving! It's miserable, time consuming and seems to be a strong supporter of holding me back.  In the little over 6 years I've been married we have moved about... 7 or 8 times? Including one very long and draining move across the country from Texas to Florida... with 3 small children in a Buick LeSabre with a trailer about the size of or slightly larger than my car trailing behind us. Besides the few hilarious moments when my deaf husband would do the fist pump so that truckers would honk as we went by, it was tiring. My back and legs ached and on parts of the drive I almost went off the highway when extreme exhaustion hit me like a sledgehammer. You see, I'm the only driver. And that's about 20 hours of driving with minimum stops. Plus I get to listen to the children complaining in the backseat, worry about the trailer dragging behind and wish I was alone on a sandy beach listening to anything besides the kids soundtrack CDs that I now have just about memorized. I've moved during pregnancies in the hottest parts of summers. I've packed entire apartments very nearly on my own while my husband slept during the day and worked overnight.
I hate moving. With a burning passion.
And yet, here I am again. Packing. Cleaning out. And preparing for another long move. 

 This time I'm transferring my job to another store so we won't have to end up living in a hotel while I scramble for work. And my husband is disabled. So there's some comfort. I've made friends here who are joining my other friends as online buddies. I feel like I'm abandoning my amazing coworkers here for the unknown folks of another store.
Housing arrangements are still in the air. My apartment here looks frightfully desolate as half of everything is in boxes already. And being OCD is driving me insane! I can't stand clutter, so having boxes stacked along the walls makes me feel like a freak from Hoarders.
Once again my children are showing signs of being unsettled as we have yet to firmly set roots anywhere.
So many questions swirling in my head. So many fears. Are my children ever going to have a good solid place to grow up? I sometimes feel like we go from apartment to apartment and they are like the puppies growing up in a pet store. They don't have room to run and play. To be free. For most of my childhood, my parents had houses. I went bike riding, roller blading, running, climbed trees... I had adventures. I want the same for my kids. But I'm always struggling. We can only afford so much. And time is quickly passing us by. Between work and getting daily chores done, we seem to miss the times of taking the boys fishing, going to the park, or visiting family and friends.
To make matters worse, my husband spends at least 2-3 hours (broken up in intervals between his gaming) to "talk" about what sort of housing situation I want. All the while knowing that I'm going to give the exact same answer I have been giving for the past month because we both know where we will end up in the end despite our best efforts for the ideal home. A house would be amazing. But at this point I'd settle for a 2 bedroom apartment so long as we get to where we are going and have a place to rest after the move. And so long as the one sided "discussions" finally end.
There are still the daily activities that come with being a working mother. Preparing and cleaning up after 2 meals a day, organizing the packing scene and de-cluttering, home schooling two highly active boys who get ants in their pants when told to sit still, working part time 3 days a week, and then trying to get enough sleep to keep me out of the zombie zone.
Some mornings I hear the "Mom" alarm and want to hit the snooze button (if only there was one). But the voices get louder. And they multiply.

I've been working on getting them ready for the move. I made up a backpack of toys, bought some fun packs from the Dollar Spot at Target, and tried telling them what's happening. They look forward to seeing their Oma and Papa. I got them in on "helping" me pack the toys...

 Finally there is the "Going Away" project. You know when you are going far enough away that you won't see the people you are close to for quite some time. So you plan shindigs and soirées to see everyone to say goodbye. Only it's hard to find those times. Most of them are later at night. Then comes writing those heartfelt goodbyes. I believe that when you truly mean it, you write it. Not just say it.
All of this leads to the choice of curling up  in the fetal position whilst growling at any who dare approach... Or rolling with the punches and taking it one step at a time. I'm still fighting the urge to take the first option.
I know that the next few months will be a completely different nightmare. On top of being in a new place, I'll be starting over in a new store as the new girl all over again. Let's be honest, I don't make friends well. I hide in my shell until someone forces me out. Ask my best friend. She literally scared the friendship into life. Then she dragged me into her circle of friends of our workplace adding two other besties to my life long pals list. I think that's sorta how it worked out in my latest job as well. The outgoing, friendly people pulled me in and one of them even gave me a run down on everyone else so I didn't come out feeling like a total stranger around everyone. Now I'm starting over...
School is going to be put on hold. Again. 6 years is a long time to put college on hold. Especially when you had so few classes left towards your degree.
So much to do. So little time. Sadness, frustration, anxiety... all tugging away at what's left of this moms sanity. I certainly hope for the best, fear the worse and will do everything I can to make it the best transition possible! Thanks for listening to my craziness. Feel free to tell me what you think about it in a comment below.

Jewelry Candle review

I finally received my replacement candle for the broken one that was ordered before Christmas from Jewelry Candle. And I have to admit, I'm a little more impressed.
So I wrote about the previous experience. My biggest complaint was the customer service. I still think they can improve their service ratings with a little more attention to customer service skills. However, that being said, they do provide a great product. One that seems worth the money.
About the candles...
They are a rather large size with a double wick. Made from 100% natural soy and using premium quality fragrances, they offer so much more than a candle. They are natural, hand poured, and the double wick technique means they burn evenly so you aren't wasting anything. The rings are exquisite as well. You can check out others reviews and reveals on their website. So many variations! They also put in necklaces and earrings that I've seen.
My husband ordered the Freshly Picked Strawberries ring candle. He originally wanted it here by our anniversary on December 15th. When it was late, he said it would be my Christmas gift. It came just in time! December 21st, I received the first candle. It was broken inside the box despite being firmly wrapped and sealed.

They do package their candles very carefully though. Even before I opened the box, the scent coming from the package was divine! I was enjoying the rich aroma and certainly in no hurry to get the ring yet. It burned for several hours before the ring foil could be seen. And the smell of strawberries was evident throughout the entire apartment! We did manage to get the first ring out. It was really pretty.

We contacted Jewelry Candle and were answered much quicker this time around. Of course their Christmas rush was over by this time. We sent pictures of the unwrapping and damage to show proof of it and they immediately answered that they would get another candle out to replace it. We waited a couple weeks but didn't hear anything else. I finally posted on their Facebook page about it and someone answered quickly that they would have the new candle in the mail the next day. True to their word, they did. And in a couple days following, our candle arrived at our door.

Opening this box, I didn't smell the candle as strongly as I did before.

Its not as overwhelming as that first one. However, it still smells amazing and the scent travels down the halls around the apartment. It burned a little weaker this time as well. A couple times the wicks snuffed themselves out. It burned about a third of the way down before the ring foil was seen.

My husband was impatient though and decided to try tugging it out as soon as it would budge a little. Its perfect!

It came the month of my birthday and was a garnet (my birthstone) ring. There are tiny green (peridot?), pink, and purple stones on the sides as well. I love it! He wants to order another one maybe in a month or so and I already have a few ideas of which one I might like to try... Just remember to order BEFORE the Christmas rush. Like August or September maybe? They have Ring Candles as well as Jewelry Candles. I also like that they have Greeting Candles. Want to add a message such as congratulations, your love for soldiers, new baby, etc.? They have so many to choose from. They also have Jewelry Tarts, Soaps, Wax Roses, and host Giveaways. You can also become a consultant. So check them out and let me know what your thoughts about them are.

My son and the F bomb...

Today my son definitely said THE F word. Three times. No doubt about it. And the result? I told him it's a bad word and I never want to hear it coming from his mouth again. I feel guilty. I know growing up, my parents would've smacked the tar outta me for saying that. I wasn't even allowed to say "what the hell". I remember the first time that phrase slipped my lips in the presence of my mom. 

So where is this coming from? Not me. I don't curse around my kids. I try to not swear at all. And my husband is deaf so unless he signs it, he doesn't say it either. What other options? TV? My kids don't watch anything that I don't approve of. They have minds like sponges that can soak up and splash out everything imaginable. Radio? I only listen to Christian, their CDs, and the occasional flipping through channels and stopping on good songs that I know aren't going to come back and bite me. What does that leave me? 

Games. Yep, we are all gamers here. Even the kiddos. But I make sure to turn the volume down. I know what the content of my Black Ops and Halo might be. So I mute them when I play. I've also warned my husband. But there have been occasions when he forgets and I catch him. I remind him and shut off the sound. Not like he needs it anyhow, right? I've also warned my brother though he seems to hate turning the sound off. He hasn't learned to make his own noises in the game and hasn't learned the fun of yelling "Die!!!" as he slices and dices the living dead Nazi's. 

That's another thing... I've been faced with the question of whether the children should see us playing such a game. I've banned them from watching my husband play Grand Theft Auto. I dread the day my son asks me why Bryan's character is going into a house filled with naked women on poles. Or tells me he can't wait to steal a car and shoot back at the police. Bad enough I came home from work and he told me "On daddy's game, the guy took his shirt off and drove fast cars. Then he took his pants off and the cops shot him!" *insert head slap here* Followed by, "Bryan!" 

We have had talks about this. I know how poisonous the games can be to young minds. Today makes that point very real. 

And if the game doesn't come with a foul mouthed character, you can bet there's going to be some hot shot 8 year old spouting off profanities that would make a sailor blush. I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked personal questions because some kid found out he was playing with a "girl"! What I'm wearing has no bearing on how well I do against you. Cursing a bloody storm worth of words won't make you play better and definitely won't impress the intelligent opposition. 

I can't erase what has been done. But I'm going to be even more cautious of what they are exposed to from now on. My husband and brother too, better watch out.