Frustrations with Medical Providers

Right now, I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that the neurologist assigned to me prescribed me an anti-depression or the fact that my husband spent $30 on this prescription that I have no intention of taking whatsoever.

This doctor thought he could cure my "common" disorder that "most women" suffer from. Fainting spells. That is what he thinks I have! And what does he prescribe me? Nortriptyline. We looked it up when we got home. I'm supposed to take one per night before bed and work my way up to taking 3 a night before bed. He told me it would help me sleep. And by getting better sleep, I would not be so anxious. Because my anxiety is causing the fainting spells. As a woman, I am subconsciously hyperventilating myself.

Imagine my surprise when my husband told me it is mainly used as an antidepressant. To treat clinical depression. And the side effects of this medication? Let's just say I'm already having several of them. And this: 

Some young people have thoughts about suicide when first taking an antidepressant. Your doctor will need to check your progress at regular visits while you are using nortriptyline. Your family or other caregivers should also be alert to changes in your mood or symptoms.

Yeah... I don't need to be brought down daily. I get down. Whenever I start to hurt a lot and I am reminded of everything I'm losing in life. Like when I had to quit working for Amazon. I really miss that place. And it hurts to know that is no longer an option for me. When I sold my bike. Motorcycles are no longer in my future. Tears me up when I am reminded of that fact. Now I can't drive. Bye-bye independence. No more yard sales on Saturday morning. No more flea market trips. Can't even make a quick trip to the store when I need that one thing I'm missing. Wouldn't you be down about something like that? But I do not let it keep me down. I remind myself that I have something to be thankful for. I can still walk. I'm still alive. And my kids are provided for. That is all I have to worry about. But I am not anywhere near being clinically depressed. I have no need for a hormonal balance. 

Check out this little fact:
"This medication may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be alert." So this is why I have to take it at night? So that I don't have to worry about being able to think and can remain alert around the kiddos. 

And these side effects? No thanks! I'd rather suffer through the pain, kill my liver with all my over the counter pill taking and not sleep than any of these. Some of which are already problems I have and that he was supposed to help me with!

Side Effects

• Abdominal or stomach pain
• agitation
• blurred vision
• burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles", or tingling feelings
• chest pain or discomfort
• clay-colored stools
• cold sweats
• confusion about identity, place, and time false beliefs that cannot be changed by facts
• continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in the ears
• decreased urination
• depression
• difficulty in passing urine (dribbling)
• difficulty with speaking
• dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position (Though I have this on other times too)
• double vision
• fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
• feeling of warmth
• feeling, seeing, or hearing things that are not there
• feeling that others are watching you or controlling your behavior
• feeling that others can hear your thoughts (What the heck?!)
• general feeling of tiredness or weakness
• hostility
• hyperventilation
• inability to move the arms, legs, or facial muscles
• inability to speak
• irritability
• loss of balance control
• lower back or side pain
• mood or mental changes
• muscle spasm or jerking of all extremities
• muscle trembling, jerking, or stiffness
• nightmares
• pain or discomfort in the arms, jaw, back, or neck
• painful or difficult urination
• panic
• perspiration
• pinpoint red or purple spots on the skin
• redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest
• restlessness
• seizures
• slurred speech
• sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or in the mouth
• stiffness of the limbs
• sweating (Is this not the same as perspiration?)
• swelling of the face, ankles, legs, or hands
• talking, feeling, and acting with excitement
• trouble sleeping
• twisting movements of the body uncontrolled movements, especially of the face, neck, and back
• weakness in the arms, hands, legs, or feet

Some side effects of nortriptyline may occur that usually do not need medical attention. These side effects may go away during treatment as your body adjusts to the medicine. Also, your health care professional may be able to tell you about ways to prevent or reduce some of these side effects. Check with your health care professional if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome or if you have any questions about them: 

• Bigger, dilated, or enlarged pupils (black part of the eye)
• black tongue
• decreased interest in sexual ability or desire
• difficulty having a bowel movement (stool)
• enlargement of the breast
• hair loss or thinning of the hair
• heartburn
• hives or welts
• increase in sexual ability or desire
• increased sensitivity of the eyes or skin to light
• pain or discomfort in the chest, upper stomach, or throat
• peculiar taste
• severe sunburn
• small red or purple spots on the skin
• swelling of the testicles
• swelling or inflammation of the mouth
• swollen, painful, or tender lymph glands on side of face or neck
• vision changes
• waking to urinate at night

I am genuinely fed up with the medical system. I am thoroughly ready to give up on treatment. If I did not have a goal in my head of where I need to be in the next year, I would call it quits and let this body shut itself down. I have already begun to prepare myself for being confined to a wheelchair.

And should that day arrive, I am going to 'punk out my ride. Steampunk that is. These doctors don't seem to want to accept the fact that I am not "common". Never have been. As a matter of a fact, I consider myself to be more of a medical anomaly. I mean, really. What person gets a topical skin infection that embeds itself in the bone? What woman never gets a single fever? Ever?! And that infection in the bone? I had x-rays, MRI, bone scan and blood work. Doctors found no issues and no indication that there was something wrong. The only way we knew is that I had pain. Lots of it. But no, nothing could possibly be wrong. I was just a whiny 17 year old. Ha! Jokes on you. Here I am, young 30 year old woman claiming to have pain and lightheadedness. No reason at all, right? She's just whiny. She's prone to fainting, because that is common in women. Lose some weight and drink some water. While you are at it, take some antidepressants. You will be fine! I look forward to the day that I can show them just how wrong they truly are.

I'm not backing down. For now, I refuse to give up. But I'm prepared for whatever outcome happens my way. And I won't spend any more money on prescriptions from them. At least I know what will happen when I take 5 Ibuprofen. Or when I take Advil, Aleve and Excedrin.  

Journey to Pain Relief: Doctor's Appointments

Many times, the start to being better begins with a visit to the doctor. When you have my level of problems, you might have to see more than one doctor. Today I went to the second doctor involved in treating me. And I left a little more frustrated than I had hoped. 

*Do these pants make me look fat?*

I have a lot going on in this body of mine. It is trying to fall apart before its time. I'm 30 years old. Not even in the "prime" of my life. I'm "young" according to my primary doctor. What I should have told her was, "Only on the outside." Inside is a different story. She did an EKG and stress test to see if my blood pressure fluctuated as I went from laying, to sitting, to standing. Those two came out normal. So she thinks my heart and blood pressure is all good. Well, I'd certainly hope so. Bad enough my spine wants to collapse, don't need my heart giving out on me too! I left her office with a stack of papers and my pain level being 2 notches higher than when I went in thanks to laying on the examining table. Those papers were all the tests and appointments she wanted me to go to before seeing her again in two weeks. 

Yesterday I gave blood to do 4 tests. Not sure what all of them are, but I know one was to check my thyroid and 2 were Lipid tests. I'm assuming it will help her see if there is anything basic causing my dizziness and pain. 

Today I went to see the neurologist. He asked many questions, told me he thinks he knows what is wrong with me and then checked my reflexes. In short - I am fat, don't drink enough water and need to consume more salt in my diet. Okay, that is the ultimate way to describe the long conversation we had. In his words, I need to tone my butt, thighs and calf muscles. When I stand too long (because to him, having 4 kids must mean that is what I do all day) or rise from standing, all the blood is going to those muscles and not to my head, causing me to feel lightheaded. As a woman, I am a part of the majority of women who suffer from Vasovagal Syncope and are prone to fainting spells. It's quite common. Even though - and he asked - I never fainted in my teen years. When I asked what that was, mostly because his thick Indian accent was throwing my off understanding of him, he asked what level of education I had. Why does that matter?! I know enough to know what he's saying, but only when I understand the words through his accent. Then he asked if I breathe fast when I feel this lightheadedness come on. No, I do not. I know not to hyperventilate. It brings about fainting. I try to avoid that at all costs. It is why I haven't fainted yet. He says women hyperventilate subconsciously. "Perfectly normal", he tells me. What part of, I don't breathe faster did you not understand? He told me that I must also be dehydrated as I do not drink 6 bottles of water a day. And I need to add salt to my food more often. I avoid adding salt. Heart disease runs in the family on my mother's side. I thought not adding salt might be better for my long term health. He told me repeatedly that he knows all about this as he speaks at conventions on it and has written about it. It is what most women, and a few men, suffer from. What I wanted to tell him is that he suffered from an overinflated ego.  Then he wanted to know about my depression and anxiety levels. I was honest. I feel down sometimes when I get frustrated with my body. I feel I should be doing more, but pain restricts me. I don't, however, battle depression. I also do not feel continuously anxious. Yes, I have stress in my life. Yes, I worry at times. I don't let it keep me down. But he told me women are more likely to have anxiety issues and not realize it.

So blood is being restricted, but only because it's going south and not to my head. I need to lay down and sit down when it comes on, but he did not tell me why it would happen when I'm sitting. Also, why did it used to only happen when I turned my head to either side and now it happens whenever without a trigger? I asked him if it could be that the tension and curvature of my neck has anything to do with it. His reply was no. If a water hose has blockage, then water doesn't come out at all, he said. Sure... but what about the hose that gets the occasional kink? You twist a hose the wrong way, water is restricted. But no. He knows this better than anyone. This is surely the cause. In 6 weeks, I go back after changing my workout, drinking 6 bottles of water a day and adding salt to my cooking. He expects there will be a decrease in dizziness. That I won't feel like fainting. And if not, he will refer me to a neurosurgeon. 

I plan to tell my primary that I do not agree with the neurologist. I think he is letting his ego think for him. He wants me to also take pain pills every night before bed. He says that the pain and lack of sleep are causing me anxiety. That I probably have heart palpitations more now, but don't realize it because I'm too worried about not fainting. 

*head slap here*

We do not have to always agree with the doctor. They won't always get it right. If it feels off, think about a second opinion. And don't fear speaking up. 

Tomorrow is my MRI. 30 minutes of laying inside a hard tube... The last one I had hurt like crazy and had me leaving in tears. Let's see if I am any stronger this time around, shall we?

3M Post-it Board Review

Working with Shoplet.com has introduced me to many new and wonderful products that I would not have otherwise found. They are the largest e-tailer of office supplies. The following review is of just one of those products they have to offer. 

*Disclaimer: I was sent this product free of charge in exchange for my honest review. I was not otherwise endorsed or told what to say. These are my opinions alone.*

I was sent the Post-it Bulletin/Dry Erase Board. I am a huge fan of Post-it products. They have been helpful in making quick notes as well as keeping track of important reminders. This one in particular can serve both of those! It has two parts to it. On the top half, I can write reminders on the white board with the dry erase marker that came with it. Then on the bottom half we have a sticky board. I am quite excited to be using this. We have been needing something to track all the appointments and meetings coming up on a daily basis. I keep a calendar to plan ahead, but it would be good to keep my husband on the same page with notes written about what we have going on each day. This lets me do just that!

Hanging it up was a breeze, thanks to the Command adhesives they use on the back to stick it to the wall. This will also make it easy to take down when we move. And we can purchase more later to rehang it. 

On the top, I will be able to write things that need to get done daily. Then stick something to the bottom half to corroborate that! I really love it. The bottom half is marble pattern to give it some style. Another plus in my book.

My husband was skeptical about the sticky part. That is when I showed him the back where there are directions on how to keep it clean and clear off dust or fibers by using Scotch tape! If you really need to clean up the sticky portion, you can wipe it clean and let dry. It is like a reset to the stickiness. Surprisingly, though, it is not as "sticky" as I had thought. A note card I put up there keeps coming off. Definitely have to press it hard. 

So what should you take away from this review?  

Pros

• It is easy to use
• Easy to hang 
• Comes with the marker

Cons

• Does not come with an eraser
• Sticky side is not sticky enough

It might be a little pricey at $41.69. Not sure what the going rate for such a board is elsewhere, but I still think its a great addition in our home.

I hope you enjoyed seeing this review! Leave me a comment and let me know what you liked/disliked or how this product would be useful to you. Don't forget to check out Shoplet.com to see what other office supplies they have. And remember! They also have office furniture, medical supplies and cleaning supplies. They are your one-stop-shop! 

Master Caster Product Review

I love being a part of Shoplet.com's review group. They utilize my skills in blogging to showcase some pretty awesome products that they sell on the largest e-tailer site for office products. A quick disclaimer and I will do just that below! 

*Disclaimer: I received these products for free in exchange for my honest review of them. I was not paid or otherwise endorsed for this review. No other compensation was given and I was not told what to write.* 

I have been able to try these products before. I liked them so much, I was happy to test them out again. They sent me two products by Master Caster: Instant Swivel Wheels and their Dual Action Smart Gloves. 

The Instant Swivel Wheels are perfect for those of you doing some spring cleaning. They are advertised on TV as being easy to use, have a 360 swivel capability and require no tools to attach. I had attached them to my table once before. I was able to roll my table back and forth to accommodate dinner needs in our tiny dining room. This time, I decided to try something else.

The Dual Action Smart Gloves are just as amazing. First of all, they are useful for cleaning. These are made to be used on your electronic devices. You can wipe off all those fingerprints and yet, use them to send a text message in the colder weather still.  These microfiber gloves fit really well. Even on my long fingers. They are washable and stay lint free after being washed. Now, the last time I had gotten these, I didn't pay attention to what they suggested you use them to clean. Instead I had tested out using them to clean dust from the TV. I was sold! I even dusted my fan a time or two. After a quick wash, they were just like new. Still use that pair today. And then when the time came to bundle up in the cold, I kept my fingers warm while still being able to text and use my touch screen phone without sacrificing warm fingers. That is a huge deal for me! I am a human Popsicle. Easily frozen - especially on my fingers and toes. 

Shoplet does not just offer a wide selection of office products. They also have office furniture, medical supplies and cleaning supplies. Let me know what you think about these products and what other ones you would want to try.