Give Grace to those who give you Grief

I’ve been reading Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado. My bosses wife and dear friend sent it to me. She knows I have been facing several of my giants in a very intimate way. And she knows that I need encouragement from time to time. I’ve barely gotten into it. It is my go-to on breaks at work or during down time (like when the work system crashes for a while).  But even as little as I have read, I have found such meaningful things to ponder.

The chapter I am reading now is about giving grace to those who give me grief. This is a huge deal in my life right now. My ex-husband, whether he is doing it on purpose or not, gives me so much grief. From being stupid and wrecking every vehicle he drives to putting me down to not lifting a finger for his kids’ needs… It can be so frustrating for me at times. We were married for over seven years before I decided I’d had enough and filed for divorce. I’ve been so relieved by such a choice, despite the strains that come with my decision.

Despite being divorced, however, we came to the agreement that we would stay living together since we were in a lease together and neither of us wanted to pay or break the lease. In hindsight, that was a mistake on my part. So much stress and arguing came after. I’ve bent over backwards for him. Let him call the shots with several of the divorce points, kept him in the loop with what I am doing, was even still doing his laundry and making his dinners. And to him… it was like I was still under his control. If I didn’t hang his shirts straight out the dryer, he yelled at me. If his plate wasn’t made in the fridge when he woke up, he complained. I started dating someone else. And this guy kept telling me to stand up. To stop doing for the ex. Stop letting him use me as his doormat. I made excuses. Let’s face the facts – I’m too nice to even my enemies. I let people walk all over me. I claim that it’s my southern upbringing that drives me to be kind and that my religious upbringing has instilled in me the thought of “turning the other cheek” every time someone does me wrong. We are to forgive 70 x 70 times, right? Does this mean I take abuse every time? No. Does it mean I have never stood up for myself and for others? No. In the past couple of years, I have grown a strong backbone again. I have established my dominate side. I know what I want. I know how to get it. And I’m not letting anyone get in my way anymore. Well… I get in my own way at times, but that is another story.

So getting back into the book, Facing Your Giants. I came across this statement, “Once again, we think about the purveyors of pain in our own lives. It’s one thing to give grace to friends, but to give grace to those who give us grief? Could you? Given a few uninterrupted moments with the Darth Vader of your days, could you imitate David?” (pg. 46)

My Darth Vader, my Saul, my Timothy McVeigh – he destroys my happiness, he seeks to kill my joys in his jealous rage, he blows up my plans for a better future. I can’t begin to count the times that I have thought, why? Why are you like this? Why do you do these things to me? Why are you so evil? I tell him that I don’t care how he feels. I don’t care what happens to him in the future. But I still wash his clothes. I still buy him food. Or grab printer paper when I’m doing my shopping. To some people, I’m too patient. I’m too nice. According to some, I should slip something into his food and drinks. Maybe I should put something on his clothes to give him an uncomfortable feeling. Will I do this? Most likely no. I want to. Not gonna lie. I want him to feel something of what I feel on a daily basis when he is around. But I won’t do anything. Its not me. I smile to my enemies. I might scare them with that smile, but it’s still a smile. The next thing that this passage of the book says is this, “Some people are graced with mercy glands. They secrete forgiveness, never harboring grudges or reciting their hurts.” Call me arrogant, but I think this is me. I don’t hold the past against anyone. I will never hold your mistakes against you when my own haunt me. We are human and our mistakes are how we learn and grow. And I am growing my patience daily with my ex .

There is one thing I want to point out though. Some people think I hold grudges because I cut people off. I block them from my personal life. Well, they are wrong. There is one thing I have learned over the years – forgive as you are forgiven, but don’t stand there and take the same abuse for the rest of your life. That saying “turn the other cheek”, for me, means that you can hurt me once and I will forgive you and let you try again. You can hurt me again once I’ve turned my other cheek to you. But after this second hurt, you will be forgiven and let go. I won’t stand there switching cheeks for continual abuse. You can tell when someone is truly learning from their mistakes. When they genuinely want to change and be the better person. They will do everything they can to never fall into that pattern again. Not everyone is like this. And you have to step up and say enough is enough. You have tried, you have forgiven. Now it is time to move on. And that is what I do. You can keep making your mistakes. But you won’t be making them towards me anymore. I am fiercely loyal to friends and family. I will lay down my life for those I hold dear. Stay on that side of the line and I will be with you until the end. Cross that line and you will lose me forever.

This is who I am. I will show mercy and forgiveness. I will continue to grow and try to be stronger against those that cause me pain. But I promise there will be times when I will be a pushover and someone will use me. It is going to happen. Have patience with me. I’m still just a diamond in the rough. Look past my rocky outside to find the gem inside that shines like ice but is still fragile.

Do you grow anything?

I just learned something recently about growing green onions... Normally I grow them outside in a pot. Water, dirt, air, and sunlight. But now I know there is another way to do it. And it requires only a baggie in the fridge.

Yep, you read that right. I cut the roots off. Then I put those roots into a plastic baggie. I put that baggie into the fridge and left it there for a month or two. When I went to pull that baggie out again, I found they had grown again. Oh the applications I can use this for...Especially since I'm the kind who kills things more than grows them.

So what do you grow? And how do you do it? I, personally, have plans to one day grow roses, lilies, and orchids. And if my thumb will turn green - tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, and maybe strawberries. Good to aspire, right?

What price would you pay for your protection?

We are in the age of technology here. Everything is done with computers, “smart phones”, and the internet. Terms that our grandparents hadn’t had are household words that even my 7 year old son uses. Apple, iPhone, the Cloud, autocorrect, Android… And the advancements that come with these things are phenomenal! We can contact someone around the globe within seconds rather than sending mail that takes anywhere from a day to several weeks to arrive to our person in question. Business is affected and growing with connections being made. We are keeping in touch with those we care about daily rather than when we have the time to call and ask them what’s new.

But with all these great things, there are great downsides. Viruses, overloaded updates on people you don’t want to keep up with constantly, information leaks, stolen identity, cyber-crimes such as hacking, distancing ourselves from others (not staying close to those we love on a personal level), bullying… the list could go on. We are told to change our passwords often. Don’t give out unnecessary information. Don’t get addicted to social media – find a balance.

It can be hard to keep on the safe side when everything is available at the touch of a button. And now there’s a new concern to consider. This one applies strongly to smart phone users, particularly to Apple users. If you haven’t already heard about the F.B.I. trying to get Apple to give them a “master key” of sorts to break into locked iPhones, you must be living under a rock. The outrage is growing. The sides of pro or against are clearly lining up against each other. But think about this people… common sense might not be common these days, but just try to understand logic for the next couple of minutes…

So we have a horrific event that costed way too many lives in the United States. All because of a terrorist attack. Investigations start rolling and information starts flowing. An iPhone comes into play. But it’s locked. And the F.B.I., in their desire to put the pieces in place, decides they need to access everything in the phone. They could ask Apple to hand over the data in the iCloud. All they need is a warrant or maybe just a request. Apple has been cooperative in the situation, so how hard would it be? But that’s not good enough… They want to get into the phone themselves. A terrorist is most likely not going to store their plans in the iCloud. But they can’t get into the phone, its locked. They don’t know the technology. They don’t have a key to bypass the encryption. And they don’t have anyone smart enough to break into for them, apparently. So they want a way in through the back door. Apple balks at such a thing. They don't have the access past the encryption. Then the F.B.I. does what Apple said they would do. They don’t want it for just one phone now; they want to open 9 iPhones. For the sake of American safety, they claim. For the protection of future lives and the justice desired for those already lost. Now Apple is really pushing back. But why? Don’t they want to serve and protect as well? Yes. Of course they do. But think of the implications this can have on the future. Think of the fallout. Think of the applications this can have for all iPhone users present and future. This boils down to creating a way for the government to walk into any iPhone, anywhere, regardless of the system, encryptions, software. This is a get INTO jail card for Apple products. How so? You can create this key for one or for 9 phones. You can open up a secured zone for a brief moment to get what they need. But once they are in… they can go anywhere. They can do anything. And this key isn’t restricted to just that one device. It’suniversal. Every single iPhone would be open to them. How would such a key be abused? Who’s to stop them from looking into your device?  And would you know about it? Not unless they come after you. They wouldn’t have to say anything more than, “It’s the safety of America.” Now sure, you could say that its okay. After all, you don’t have anything to hide from the government, right? So who cares?! But here’s something else to consider. How many times has the government been hacked? How much information on weapons, military, or other government information been leaked in the past few years? Do you want to risk handing them the keys to your iPhone where a hacker can steal them? Then your identity is at risk. Think of the apps on your phone. Banking, shopping, emails, text messages, phone logs… What could happen to you if someone got that information? Would your life be the same? No. People were furious when Target was hacked and bank accounts were affected. I know only too well as I was a Target employee that dealt with irate customers blaming me personally for something I had absolutely no control over. What happens when the same occurs to Apple devices because the government gets hacked? Everyone will blame Apple, right? Is it going to be their fault? No! They did as asked and the government will be the ones dropping the ball in “protecting” iPhone users. But this is all hypothetical for now. These are the things that people are not thinking of for the future. Open your eyes folks! Be mindful of what reactions could occur with these actions. Its not a simple “one case” action. Once a key is made, there is no going back. There is only fighting for your own safety.

Don’t think that Apple will be the only ones targeted for such. Once Apple crumples and makes such a key, who is to say the government won’t pursue others such as Android or Microsoft? Why not have a key for every smart phone on the market? We already have our conversations on Skype being recorded for government use. Facebook Messenger Apps has access to your text messages and voice calls as well. Read the specifications one day on what they require you to allow them access to before you download an app. Or even after downloading an app. You’d be surprised at how much they access on your phone that has nothing to do with them. But you give permission blindly. Why? You just want the app. You don’t think about what comes with it besides the usefulness it holds to you personally.

It is time to wake up, America. No, it is time for the world to wake up. Everyone with a hand in technology needs to see that danger lurks everywhere on the World Wide Web. And if you want to be safe from it, you better watch what you share, what you click, and who is watching. Know your rights. Guard your privacy. Don’t take “protection” that costs you your privacy. It could ruin you in the long run. And most importantly, don’t bury your head in the sand and pretend that you don’t have any investment in what’s going on. If you own a device affected or that could be affected, keep up with what is happening. And plan for whatever outcome may come into play.

Read this letter from Apple about what they say it means if my words aren't enough.

Avery Label review via Shoplet.com

I love Shoplet.com! They have so many wonderful things to choose from when stocking your home or business office. They are the number one e-tailer for office and business supplies.  This is great in the sense that you can do all your one-stop-shopping at once, saving you time and energy. I know searching for the cheapest deals is great, but sometimes I just don’t have the time. And driving from place to place isn’t saving me money when I’m using so much gas. So I like having multiple options of all my must haves in one central location. There is also the added bonus of catching deals like free shipping or discounts randomly when you need it!

Being a brand ambassador with Shoplet lets me have the chance to try out many types of office products they offer and then pass the word on to you, my readers, to give you a trusted first-hand account. Word of mouth is typically one of the best ways to know if a product is worth my time and money. I hope that my review of the following product is helpful in the same way to you!

Shoplet sent me these cool labels. I can’t tell you how much I love labels. Easy to use, read and organize everything I have with a simple label. This year, I’ve been working so hard to clear out unnecessary clutter in my home and life. Things that I don’t use or need are getting tossed, donated and sold. The things I do use, I’m organizing. Everything is going in a box or place where I can find it when I need it. Especially after my move…

I love Avery labels. They have templates you can use on the website. Each product has a corresponding number that you can put in the search that allows you the perfect dimensions to create your labels. There is no guesswork needed. No measuring. Everything is set up and ready to go. You just need to have your wording in mind to get started. These in particular are the Avery Easy Align Self-Laminating ID labels.

The patent-pending Easy Align labels are supposed to laminate themselves so that they last longer. You print the label and seal it with a clear laminate film.

They are also UV resistant and water resistant. So you can wipe them off and they won't fade as quickly in the sun. 

Shoplet.com offers more than just Avery products. They also have cleaning supplies, office furniture and medical supplies.

What sort of uses would you have for a product such as this? Tell me about it in the comments section! And I might just hold a giveaway for a 250 count pack of these if I get enough requests for them...  Possibly even throw in some pens from Pilot. Yes, I'm testing to see who actually reads this to the end instead of looking at the pictures!