Monday was a day for us to be depressed and not really wanting to talk or do anything. We had checked the mail and found a letter telling us that I was being denied disability. Again. Despite the problems in my back and inability to hold a job, I'm considered too healthy to be disabled. It was quite a blow. And meant that I (well, we) would have some tough choices to make. The husband was away at school and I took some time to think and pray, because I felt so hopeless again.
Tuesday we had to take the van to the mechanic. Which is roughly 3-ish miles away. So we drove the van there and walked home. We drained 4 bottles of water in that walk. And may have taken the long way home. A friend and neighbor saw us as we were hitting the entrance to our neighborhood and drove us to our door. Which was a huge relief. Then we got the call that the van was diagnosed and we could come pick it up. So we threw on our shoes and packed 6 bottles this time. Off we went. Walking in 103 degree weather, along the highways and busy streets. I almost started to think I wasn't going to make it. A couple times the thought occurred to me that just maybe I should let my husband make the journey and come back for me on his own. But the whole reason I insisted on going was to make sure he was okay on this trek. It is a long, hot walk. And it goes through some ghetto-esque areas. Besides, we are in this together. Towards the end of the walk, I began to show symptoms of heat stroke. I was shivering cold through the sweat-soaked clothes. Yep, scared my husband, but I was feeling good. We had to stop several times so I could rest. Got the van and made it home though. Roughly 7 miles walked in 3 hours. After stripping down and taking a cold shower, we surveyed the damage. I had 7 blisters on my feet that are still slowly healing. His injured foot was swollen. My right side has a bulging feeling in between the spine and rib cage. Like a balloon has been inflated inside it and pressed against the nerve. I walk and sit hunched forward now to ease the pain. His arms and lower legs were sunburned. Had to douse him in the aloe vera gel. My head was pounding. Yes, we were a horrible sight to behold. Spent the rest of our evening on the couch with cookies and a bottle of wine I needed to review. I didn't even want to go upstairs to bed.
Wednesday we had to go grocery shopping. Our feet were still a mess. I limped awkwardly while leaning all my weight on the cart. But better that we got through it before the kids got home, right? But at the same time, we got some good news. As a last ditch effort, we called a lawyer to ask if fighting for disability was even considerable. They questioned me and looked over what they had to work with. Remember - they don't take cases they don't see a sliver of hope in winning. Why? They don't get paid unless they win. The decision maker for this says it might be slight, but approved them taking it. We might not win, but we won't know unless we try. And what have we to lose at this point?
Then comes Thursday. I'm packing for our trip to my in-laws to retrieve our babies. We are also going to have a family get-together with the patriarch in attendance. So I'm making cookies and getting other treats together to bring. We will go to my husbands university for his class. I'm going to chill in the library and then when he's done, we are going north! I've got all the plans rolling in my head when I hear the neighbor arrive to load the moving truck. Lucky neighbors are getting out of Dodge! I stepped out to talk for a moment and he tells me they want to give us things. A computer desk, computer monitor, a washer machine and a sewing machine in pristine condition from 1918! Now, these things won't help us out of financial crisis, but they gave me hope. Why? Well, we had talked about needing a bigger computer desk. And now we have one! A solid wood desk that will fit everything and then some. A washer when ours seems to be nearing the end of its life cycle. I am not completely sure what to do with the Singer, but if I did sell - it would cover at least one monthly bill.
God moves in mysterious ways. We are not out of the woods, but we have hope. Life is not as dark as it seemed at the beginning of the week. And that is all we need.