Building Self Esteem With Positive Reinforcement

 I have talked about viewing myself better with a change in style. But now I want to look at other positive reinforcements that will assist me in rebuilding my self esteem. Self esteem is built from that happy feeling as well as from accomplishments. Here are the ones I turn to. 

Look for the good in myself

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~ Louise L. Hay

I have tried criticizing myself for many years. I have put myself down and told myself that all the lies I had been told by others were true. They had to be, right? Wrong! Just because life isn't looking so bright as I would want, doesn't mean that I am not the me I once knew. Just because I look different, or just because I have changed physically, doesn't mean I'm less than I once was. I have to remember this.  

Positive thoughts, bring positive action

Can't tell you how often I have let myself think negatively and things seemed to be negative indefinitely. However, when I let my thoughts be positive, things around me seemed to be going well despite the challenges. You have to get into the mindset of seeing the good around you in every aspect of your life. Only then can you keep the positivity going.  

Surround yourself with positive reinforcements

Those we spend time with affect our emotions, for better or for worse. You want to maintain certain levels in your life. Happiness is great, but to hold on to it forever isn't realistic. That doesn't mean you can't stay positive. Just know that the emotions of those around you will bend you their way. Seek to be surrounded by those who build you up. Not with flattering words, but with positive encouragement. Who remind you of your good qualities. But don't fear the constructive criticism you might also receive. Sometimes we need to be alerted when we are going in the wrong direction. Sometimes we need that push. Just make sure it comes from those you trust. 

Rainbows and Rainclouds

We received a book from some friends this past year. Rainbows & Rainclouds by Molly Campbell. Each night with dinner, we sit as a family and tell the best thing that happened as well as something bad that happened to each of us. This became so popular in our home that we continued the tradition beyond the book. I took a journal I was given and we record our responses daily. My kids will remind me now if I forget it. This serves two purposes for me. First, it gives me a way to see the good and bad events that happened that day to each of my family members, as well as for myself. Secondly, it gives us the chance to see the good beyond the bad. Too often, we find ourselves focusing on the negative events in our lives. They cast shadows over good times and dampen the joy we could have. 

Let's say you need to take it a step further. Maybe it is too hard to see those blessings in the darkness that surrounds you. My suggestion would be to carry a notebook with you. Every time something happens that makes you smile, write it down. Every time a good memory is triggered, write it down. Pay a bill in full or on time? Or both?? Write it down. These every day, run-of-the-mill events are little blessings. Little accomplishments. 

Put a smile on someone else's face today

Believe it when they say that bringing joy to another will increase your own happiness. Ever that warm feeling when you made someone else smile? I have. And I love it! It truly does lead to the spread of good will. They are more likely to make others happy in return. We have many sayings for this. Pay it forward and The Golden Rule (which actually originated in the Bible - Luke 6:31) being the top two. It is also the Ripple Effect. How one action can trigger ripples that follow. Good deeds from one will lead to many from others.

As a Christian, I attribute all these to God. I see every good thing as a blessing from him. How do you stay positive? I'd love to hear your ideas!  As we head towards a new year, maybe we need a little extra positive influence in our lives.