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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Don't Mess With Mama


Definition of bully


plural bullies

1 a :a blustering, browbeating person; especially :one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable
  • tormented by the neighborhood bully
I'm beginning to think that being bullied is a curse that has run through my bloodline. My Mom was introduced to fighting in defense when bullies picked on her and her siblings. I went to public school from pre-k to 3rd grade and was told that if I stayed in the system any longer, my Mother would have to teach me to fight as well. What she didn't know, is that 3rd grade was when I learned to fight psychologically. But you get the point. Looking back, my Mom had all these stories of confrontations that made me feel like she truly was a Wonder Woman. Physically, I'm not the strongest, but mentally, I will break you. Now, as a mom, I'm having to watch my own kids deal with bullying. But today... Oh no. Today, it went a step too far. What happened? My son was hit in the leg with a cell phone. Hard enough to leave a mark. We will see what the school has to say about it in the morning since it was too late for them to contact me back after my kids got home.
As a parent, you never want to have your kids fall prey to a bully. You also don't want them to become a bully. As a Christian, we learn that we are to turn the other cheek and let God punish our enemies. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The Golden Rule. And we teach it well in our house. But... I won't let my children get beat up. Not any more. Verbal abuse is one thing. I'm teaching my kids to handle that with positivism. So how do we combat the physical abuse? 

My kids look up to me for not being afraid. After all, they watched me stand up against the physical abuse their father put me through before the divorce. I shielded them, protected them and took the force upon myself. But I can't do that on the bus or in the school hallways. And though we have been in contact with the school, it seems to be escalating now. Before, they were throwing accusations and screaming profanities at my children. Then one of them laid his hands on my daughter and I took to arms with the vice principal. They went back to verbal abuse and I told my kids to pretend that those bullies didn't exist. Focus on something or someone else and shut their mind to the words that were meant to hurt them. But you can't do that with a physical attack. 
So what am I to do? Well, my first move is to escalate the response from the school itself. I won't take a, "Well..." answer. Depending on their response, I just might have to teach my children self defense. Don't get me wrong, I won't have them pummeling everyone who crosses their paths. However, learning to block someone is a great skill to have. Learning to bob and weave. To keep your fists at eye level. And if that's not enough, then maybe we will introduce something more. We are blessed with long legs. Powerful ones. I can attest to the damage they are capable of causing when there is need for it. But only as a last result. And only when politely requesting they back off doesn't work.

Mama don't play. And she doesn't just sit there wrapping a wound with a sweet, "I'm sorry, but this is just the way it is." My kids are not going to be victims to someone else's brats. Not anymore. 


How would you address something like this?

3 comments:

  1. Oh dang. Gary is dealing with a bully at work. This guy doesn't quit either which means he can only be taken down by another meaner bully. When he bullied Jesse I was ready to go in and clean house but Jesse decided to get another job that paid better. But now days we live in a world where words are considered bulling and not tolerated. If there is a way to get a nanny cam and strap it to your kids and get footage then you sue the snot out of the school system and get them in a private school. This year Noble (first few days of school) brought some of his fidget spinners to school. 1 little girl asked to "see" them and as soon as she held them claimed they were hers and refused to give them back. The next day his big sister, Rachel asked the girl for them and she said the same thing to her. So I contacted the teacher (who is a good person). The little girl said they were stolen from her and the teacher let it go. Mind you the spinners were a couple bucks from Dollar Tree but I bought them for my son and not some snot nose punk. So I decided to not let it go. I told the teacher that the girl stole them (which is a no-no at their school. Yes, this is the school that heard 1 child say the word Mexican and deemed us racists-new family joke! Thanks school.). The teacher tried to say nothing can be done. I said fine tell the mom to send me $10 to replace them. Her daughter stole them so she has to pay to replace them. The teacher tried to say she couldn't ask the parent who has nothing. I said fine, give me her info and I will get her to give it to me. All this was done via text so I had proof. Well the teacher caved and said let me try again. Next day Noble had both fidget spinners in hand. I thanked the teacher and told her since there is a THEIF in her class he will not bring anything from home. By calling the girl a thief and letting the teacher know she has done nothing to disipline the child. I don't keep the teacher on my naughty list but work with her for the best education for my son in her class. But I do let her know this girl will not take advantage of my kids again. My advise, get everything in writing. Complain in writing. Have date to show how long this goes on. Good records are key. And last resort, give momma the principles phone number. After all I had your principle at Brookview running (literally) and hiding from me. Ever seen the Goldbergs? Bekah says I am Beverly. Watch clips on youtube of her at her kids schools and how all the teachers and principle are scared of her. That is a bit like me. But I let people know right away, when it comes to my kids, I don't play!!!

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  2. Oh and as far as your dad goes, I have told him I would be happy to come to his job and give this jerk a taste of me. Just say when. I will have the dude in tears and his boss running me off in a few hours.

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    1. I wish dad would grow a pair sometimes and truly let these people know they can't walk all over him. As far as that girl goes... I'm having similar issues. But hopefully, tomorrow they should finally get some resolution.

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