When Did Schools Start Failing?

The more I know about the public school system, the less inclined I feel to have my children enrolled. My two boys are struggling and my kindergartner is going through the same torture that myself and others who were considered "gifted and talented" went through. Sad to say, but in the past 22 years, the school system still has not changed in that regard. 

My oldest son has a teacher who pretends she has it all together. Lady can't be on time to her class. But complains that my son isn't taking advantage of coming to class early when she is "always there at 7 to help with homework". She doesn't truly listen to the parents who are trying to get their kids the best education available to them. She doesn't know how to communicate effectively with parents on misconduct acts. Although lets face it, neither of my kids second grade teachers are able to use proper grammar or spelling in their emails to me. Even some of the homework sheets they send home are full of errors. Both in the English and in the math. She expects every child in her class to be honest when they are being bad. She doesn't show that she bothers checking homework assignments outside of simple reading projects. She gets an attitude when her assumptions of what should happen don't (i.e. - parent calls instead of arriving for a face-to-face meeting). And here is my favorite ill conceived idea of hers - kids have to earn the right to have their snack in class. These are second graders being forced to go from breakfast at 7 AM (or earlier if they are eating at home) to 12:19 without their snacks. And on some days, while having PE class in between. My kids have hyperactive digestion systems. They burn through what energy they get from eating pretty quick. And they get hungry. But in her class, you have to earn the right to eat. Otherwise, you can sit there and watch others eat. And if your snack doesn't meet her idea of "healthy", you also won't get to eat. Granted, when I was in their grade level over 20 years ago (yes, I'm dating myself now), we didn't have snack time. That is something newer in the schools. Then again, we didn't hear much about how many American kids are starving and only eat at school either. Another problem I am butting heads with this teacher on is how she thinks (or is the normal guidelines in schools now) that it is more important for a 9 year old to know how to get the answer rather than get the answer. What do I mean by this? My son can do the math in his head, but struggles when he has to show his work or label the strategy that is used. She makes the kids label each part of the problem and then solve it. He knows the answer, but that is not important to her. How is he getting the answer? My cousin was a math genius who couldn't show the work, but could solve any problem in his head. Got accused of cheating no matter how he proved that he wasn't. Remember, this was before cell phones and calculators were being carried by everyone. She says she is treating the kids as though they are in the third grade already. Lady, you are forcing them to grow up before they are there yet! Why?! She also had the balls to make the statement that I need to help my son be more independent because she knows that I have "other kids" and my "focus is divided". Followed by other statements leaning towards the idea that because I have 4 kids (which is a lot to a woman like her), I can't devote as much time to each one as is needed. Sweetheart... be glad we were talking on the phone or you might have needed to take a sick day. So help me... Who does she think she is? As another mother, who removed her child from this teachers class, pointed out - we Mothers have different levels of what we can handle. Some Moms can only have one. It is all they can take. Some Moms have 2, 3, or 4 kids and that is their limit. My Mother has 10. We all have different thresholds of where we can balance ourselves. I hold to the belief that God gives us what we can handle. 4 is my limit. But I'll be darned if I don't give them my all and give them the attention they need as they need it. I might be poor. I might not have a college degree. But I have a heart full of love. A love that overflows for my kids. So tread lightly when you make out that I'm not fully able to be there for any one of them. 

My other son excels at math, but he's not confident in reading because he isn't as good at it. I feel his pain. It is the same that I had when it came to math. I'm not sure I qualify for even average. But I excelled in reading to the point that I was "gifted" you might say. But because of this deficiency in one subject, she doesn't feel he is truly ready to pass and is, instead, "placing" him in third grade next year to be "watched and assessed". When did it stop being a pass or fail? When did they introduce the "placing" method for the grey liners? Not in the red (failing), but not in the black (passing). So we put in this middle category and hope you make it. GAH! 

Then we have my kindergartner. This girl is already reading nearly as well as her older brothers. She sounds out words that I wouldn't have seen her reading yet. She attempts math that is ahead of her. So her teacher, seeing her long strides, sends home an assessment to see where we think she stands and if we think she is worthy of being tested for the gifted program. I'm all for it. I think that just maybe the system has changed and maybe they will later advance her if they see her pulling far enough ahead of her own level. Challenge her and see where she lands! What do they do? Start sending home packets of worksheets. Enough that she has to do 5-7 pages a night, Monday to Thursday and hand them all in on Friday morning. Where have I seen this before... Ah, yes! My cousin. Same grade level work or slightly ahead, but not advancing him. It was just to keep him busy and to make him feel better about being smarter than everyone else. My daughter gets so fed up after the 3rd page that she just starts whining and begging to be let go. She can't play games with her brothers who have maybe half of the workload she does now. She can't have play time with neighborhood friends all the time during the week either. No time. Just enough to eat dinner, shower and get to bed. 

That's another thing. My kids have to sleep early. They wake up at 6 AM to eat, dress and be ready to walk to the bus stop every morning. They don't have much time between getting off the bus and bed time. Especially not when they keep getting new bus drivers who don't know where they are going. They dropped some kid off at the wrong stop recently. Poor kid had to walk home a ways. Bus driver didn't realize the mistake until the next stop, where that kid should have been let off, when no one came forward to get off the bus. They just call a name from the list and say, "Get off here". Some days, we stand at the bus stop worrying that something bad has happened. At which point, we are all dialing the school and get the phone picked up by stressed out admin staff that say the bus will arrive "soon". 

This system is too broken. You are facing kids so bogged down instead of promoted up that they want to quit school as soon as possible. I have said it before and I say it again - public schools are like prisons. You have teachers that are not getting proper support from the administrative roles above them. You have admin that are blaming teachers for student not passing, no matter what the teacher does. Every couple of weeks, it seems like I'm getting requests for money or supplies. Some fundraiser is happening or something else is missing in the classroom. They send home pictures of my kids that I did not authorize them taking and say I can buy them or send them back. Just don't send them at all! Then there are holidays every month. If not a national holiday, there are student holiday/staff training days. I don't remember having so much time out of school when I was incarcerated in the public system. How about the fact that they are not teaching real life lessons as much as teaching what will be on the next test? It is all about getting kids to pass a test and make the passing grades higher for the schools rating. My second graders still are not being taught cursive in school. They aren't retaining some of this other fluff stuff though either. They spent a single day practicing how to write a letter. Still don't do it right. I'm having to show them that art as well. But they have to learn about Kwanzaa and Ramadan at Christmas time. Because that will be helpful in their lives. 

My husband and I have agreed. Either next year or some time before they reach 5th grade, they will be home schooled. I'm done putting up with this crap. I want my kids to succeed at life. I want them to learn real skills. And I'm going to have to show them how. Because I just don't see it happening in the public school system anymore. And with the latest school shooting... I don't see them being safe anymore either.

The Lesson on Curse Words

Yesterday was a typical Monday. Busy with simple things until the kids got home. Then we dove into homework, making dinner, and awaiting my husbands arrival home from school. While I was putting the final touches on dinner, I heard a word that is forbidden in our house. 

Let me just say, that my husband and I don't use curse words. Not unless there is a sudden and extreme pain inflicted. And even then, we usually scream it in our heads or say something else like "mother of fudge" or "freakin A". So, our kids are not likely to say such words without having learned them from an outside source. 

So there I am, cooking. I hear my younger son saying a word while playing a video game.

At first, I thought he was saying beach. Except it was contorted. Then my older son says, "Mom, Allen said a bad word!" I asked Allen and he acknowledged he had, but tried to say he didn't know that b*tch was a bad word. In an effort to keep my cool and get to the bottom of it all, I ask where he heard that word. Of course, he had heard it while visiting my ex husbands house. They were watching YouTube videos of guys playing video games. I also found out that when the guy playing had something unexpected happen or he lost, he would exclaim curse words. So guess what the dinner table conversation was about? You got it, curse words. We had to discuss what they were, what they meant, and why they are inappropriate and will not be tolerated in our home. We covered quite a lot of ground. My kindergartner and second graders all now know that those words are not allowed in their vocabulary. They already knew a couple of them. After all, they had dropped the F bomb on me a few years back after visiting my ex husbands family. Then another word came up after being with the babysitter. Now, they have about 95% of them known. Along with meanings, good and bad. What has the world come to? When did kids so young start hearing such language used around them?

Today, my oldest started asking about a couple other words we hadn't covered yesterday. Apparently, the bus/school bully uses some pretty heavy language. I had to explain what the MF word meant and why we don't say it. (Didn't get into too heavy detail on what the F part actually meant.) And the word A$$ brought up the tally to 95%. Why? Why are kids hearing this regularly? What happened to covering your kids' ears when you had to curse. Who remembers when that happened in the movies? My parents muted certain parts of movies when they knew a curse word was coming or made an extra loud grunting noise to sort of show it was a bad word. Are we conditioning our kids to use the language of adults and expecting they will do so the right way and when acceptable in public? 

My husband and I have become disheartened by the way things are in the world. So much so, that we have been talking about homeschooling the kids. Especially since I'm not working anyhow. We got the bullying situation under control, then were faced with ridiculous homework pages. The information they are teaching the children is not only beyond what he and I learned in school, its pretty useless. And now we have to worry about what they are hearing. And did you hear about the Mom who is facing felony charges because she put a digital recorder in her daughter's backpack to get proof on the bullying? I think that school should be investigated. What could they be hiding that they would call the police on the mom for that?! Thankfully, the school wised up and dropped the charges. 

I just don't know where to go with how things are working out for our children in the public school systems. Things have changed so drastically than when I was in there. It is more and more like a dangerous prison for kids, than an institution of learning. 

What are you thoughts and what are you dealing with? Do you think your kids should (or others') should be allowed to curse if you do?

Can We Finally Close This Chapter?

I've been writing multiple posts about the bully situation my kids are facing at school and on the bus. I have to say, part of me is hopeful... part of me is still simmering. 

So what happened today?

I waited until 9AM this morning for a phone call from the school. The night before, I had decided that by 9, I'd be heading to the school to have an in-person chat with the vice principal. I was done. DONE! I wanted results. I wanted answers. While heading over there, the vice principal actually called me. I told her I was headed her way and would talk to her soon. Must have been a shocker. I can imagine the "Oh no" moment she must have had. But this needed to be settled. So I went in. And the talk we had, while friendly and professional, was most definitely laced with your classic customer service rhetoric. I should know. I worked retail for too many years. 

Basically, I learned that the lead bully, the little girl I mentioned before, was still pouncing on my children on the school grounds. She was being "sneaky" about it according the vice principal. And even this morning, she had been called to the office for her misconduct. Suffice it to say, she is a known deviant that they have had to deal with quite a bit. So it was no surprise that the information I laid out led the vice principal to admit that she too thought the little girl was a ring leader for the bully team. She was instigating the problem. 

In addition, while the buses have cameras on them, they are not all strategically placed. Some are on the front, some are in the backs above the doors, and some are in the middle and often obscured. What good does it do anyone if the cameras are not in a prime position?! Likewise, the vice principal does not have immediate access to the footage they record. Why it is her job, but she can't get the footage without going through a process, leaves me baffled. She has to contact the technology department of the transportation department to review and pull necessary footage and they have to then send her a copy of it. This is antiquated technology! It defeats the purpose of a speedy matter. While waiting for that, she has to make decisions that are required immediately. It's a sad thought. These kids are not all from the same class, same grade, same neighborhood. My son didn't even know his attackers name until I got on the bus after school yesterday and threatened every one of those kids to leave my kids alone! Yes, I told the vice principal that I did that. You know what response I got? A "Good for you!" *insert shocked look here* Wait, you are glad I got on that bus, confronted all those kids, and scared the pants off the boy who hurt my son?! Yes, yes she was. Why? According to her, those kids turn into animals when they get on the bus going home.And there is no one to stop them. 

So what came to be the conclusions of our discussions? Well, for starters, the little girl will now be restricted to the seat directly behind the bus driver. She will be forbidden to threaten, touch or otherwise have ill-conceived dealings with any other student, but especially my own. Her parents were to receive a phone call and a warning. If anything else happens involving her, she will be expelled for a time from using the bus at all. The boy who attacked my son, would be given a stern talking to and a warning since this was his first offense. His parents would also receive a phone call of his actions and the disciplinary actions taken. 

Hopefully that will clear up the bullying problems and all the kids can now rest a little easier when they board that bus to come home. I, however, still have a job to do. According the vice principal, she has been pushing the superintendents office to have an adult stationed on the buses to monitor and control the kids. The morning ride, they are docile creatures as they have not fully awakened or for most, even eaten yet. So that is typically not when an extra adult would be needed. But that ride home... that is when they are excited. They are awake. They go crazy. After all, they have been given freedom! They are going home. Time to play and be loose, right? Wrong. They are still under school supervision. There are no restraints. No seat belts. So what are they doing, besides picking on each other? How about jumping across the seats? How about throwing things? How about running up and down the aisle? And you cannot expect the bus driver to control them. They need to be focused on the street they are traversing. I'd rather they don't take their eyes from in front of them. Especially when we have drivers like this one in our own city! 

So why don't we have that extra adult supervising their trip home? The funding was cut. And until parents band together and demand it be reinstated, they see no need for it. Not until someone is seriously injured and sues the school... Which will happen eventually if those kids aren't controlled. 

So my task this weekend is to put together a petition. I plan to pass it around. To rally parents to this cause. We need safety that can only be afforded by someone keeping a watchful eye. Someone to keep dangerous acts from taking place. I understand that schools are strapped. But I can think of some things they don't need that could go to make money for what is truly needed. Especially for a school that has a serious bully issue running rampant. 

My plea to all of you parents out there is this, don't sit idly by. Know what is happening. I'm not saying you have to attend all the events or be a part of the PTA. I won't even go that far. But truly take the time to talk to and listen to your child. Know what they are facing. And make sure they are not afraid to speak out against the one who might be harming them. I will never forget the fear that the little boy had in his eyes when he tried to tell me he was fine after being in a choke-hold. Fear of the bully or fear of speaking up and not knowing what would happen. We tell our kids not to be tattle-tales, but do they know the difference between speaking up and tattling? We need to make sure they know.

When All Else Fails

Gotta say, I'm disappointed. Bullying has become so common place. Sadly though, the adults we tell our children to turn to, are just as bad as the kids. Because of my involvement and the lack of true support from the school, the situation has escalated. Now, I'm going to have to go in person and truly lay down the law with the Vice Principal herself. 

My kids have been banned from having any contact with three kids. These kids are known to me as liars, vandals, manner-less, and just downright mean. I've seen them in action and know what they are capable of. Their parents on the other hand are completely clueless. They think of their kids as great. But it has come to my attention that the girl in this group is the worst. Since being banned (reinforced by her father after I refused to bend to his attitude), she decided to torment my kids and any others who associate with them, in a roundabout way. In essence, she is having other kids do her dirty work so that she can continue to dominate the bus. Since when are second graders so devious?! 

My kids have been told to act like she is no more than a fly buzzing in their ears. You wouldn't talk to a fly, so why bother with answering her or telling her to go away? Just pretend to wave her away and continue with what you are doing. I thought that would solve the problem. But no. She got other kids involved. Got them to listen to her rumors. They accused my son of using a word he doesn't know exists. The N word. She told her dad that my son called her that and stuck up his middle finger. Know what I heard from students who witnessed it? She's the one sticking up that middle finger and saying nasty things to my kids. It was when her dad confronted me that I told him his daughter was a liar and I warned her to stay away from my kids. Guess who wasn't happy with that? You know he had the gall to bring his "gang" of family to stand around the bus stop and yell at the kids? Wonder where his daughter gets her thuggish attitude from. 

So yesterday, my son was hit by another student, in the leg, with a cellphone. Today I called the school back, because I hadn't heard from them about the incident. I was told that my son couldn't identify the kid from 2 pictures presented to him. Hmm.... Then why didn't you check the security camera from the bus? Oh yes, things are so bad, they have to have cameras on the buses now. They had two adults on that bus, and neither of them paid any attention to what was happening behind them. I get that the driver has to focus on the road, but why can't the other one monitor the students? 

So today, I did what needed to be done. Before all the kids could climb off the bus, I climbed on. I demanded they point out the kids who attacked my son. Then I announced to them all, "The next kid who lays a hand against my children will answer to me." I had half a dozen kids pointing to the brat that hurt my son. I told him I'm going to the principal tomorrow. And that he better stay away from my children. 

Then came the truly scary part. One student followed me off the bus and announced that the girl (who hasn't left my kids alone after all), was choking another student. He demonstrated the arm hook technique. She had had a little boy in a choke hold. That boy also came forward and with a scared look in his eyes told me he was fine. He didn't want trouble. I told him to tell his mother. This behavior is unacceptable. Since when are 2nd graders so dangerous?! What is wrong with this girl?? Then another mother comes up and asks if the child who hurt my son was a girl. She went on to explain that she knew my son from hearing about him from her son. They are buddies. And because they are buddies, this little girl has been "nasty" to her son. She sneers at this little guy and tells him to "go sit with your crybaby buddy" while pointing at my son. 

I cannot tell you just how strong the surge of emotions have been since then. This child is evil. And she is manipulating the other students to get her way. That is, until now. Heaven help her, because now its my turn. And the school better hope they have a better answer besides, "We don't know what's going on." Guess what, I do. And I know what you need to do before this escalates. 

My children are my everything. No one hurts them and gets away with it. I didn't let their father, I'm certainly not letting some bratty stranger. 

My mother pointed out something in a comment she left on my other post. It takes a bigger, meaner bully to battle a bully. And I'm inclined to agree. It seems like they are getting worse with the times. I think back to the days when I was physically attacked. How often I was sent to the nurses often and my mother called. Looking back, I feel pathetic about it. Then I learned to break people mentally. Third grade was hard. Until I learned to use the one thing you hate about yourself to tear you apart. While I don't feel proud of what I did, it protected me from being hurt more. I won't teach my kids that technique. Yet. However, I'm going to teach my kids self defense. No more will I let them be hurt. They will learn to fight back. To prevail. The schools need to fear the bullies created by those that go unpunished. A slap on the wrist does nothing to those who are not taught at home. After all, they are already in prison. School is just that these days. And if they are not getting proper guidance at home or being disciplined, then it doesn't matter what is said. 

Where have we gone wrong, that such monsters are loose among our children?

Label Daddy Review and Discount

Being a part of the US Family Guide gives me great opportunities. Like being able to write reviews for the amazing Label Daddy! Back to School is nearing the end. Most schools have already started up. Our kids go back on Monday. Did your summer fly by as quickly as ours did, or what!? With that, we had to get the supplies ready. And as suggested by teachers and Moms alike, supplies should be labeled with your child's name. You want everyone to know what belongs to your kid all through the year. After all, supplies aren't cheap. And there is a lot of it needed. 

So I grabbed the Medium All Purpose label pack. It's $20, comes with the perfect sized labels for glue bottles, crayon boxes, notebooks, folders, etc. I decided to get these for my oldest. So I put in his name, picked Emoji as his design. I love that Label Daddy has some new designs (though I'm hoping they bring back some of the others they used to have). After picking a design, you also pick the style. They had a variety of the Emoji ones, but I liked the color scheme on this one. Then I also chose to use the $5 add on and get them laminated. 

Now he has everything labeled. And he did it himself! It was great. I had to peel and re-stick a couple of them that he had put on the wrong items. They came off and went on to the folders with ease. They also stuck inside his backpack. These are washable too. So if I have to wipe down anything, they won't be ruined. And since there are 50 of them to the pack, I have some extra for later use if I have to get other supplies or for next year! 

They ship out really quickly too. I typically get them within a week or less of ordering. Shipped in a sturdy envelope that will keep them from being ruined by the Postal Service. 

Label Daddy also has some new things going on. They have a fundraising option you can use. You can contact them at FUNDRAISING@LABELDADDY.COM for more information. This year, they rolled out some First Day of School shirts and signs for fantastic photos to commemorate your child's first day of school. 

I'm truly a fan of Label Daddy. I use them for my kids every year, but I also use them for myself. I label my own things that I take out and about to let others know who it belongs to. I highly recommend them! So check them out and be sure to use this link and this code to get 25% off! USFAMILY25

This weeks penny deals

Every week at Office Depot, there are penny deals. We have been stocking up for next years school needs. This past Sunday, we were able to get 3 composition notebooks, 3 bottles of glue, and 3 packs of erasers each. 

These are things I know will be on the school lists. Best part is? This whole lot cost .20! 

Office Depot deals and the stock pile

I love the Office Depot deals. Their weekly changing of the penny deals helps me save money and put aside the supplies that my elementary kids and college fiancé need. Last week I almost didn't get anything. This week I hit two stores and scored at both. I have pronged folders for all of them, mechanical pencils for the fiancé, colored pencils, Sharpie markers, pencil boxes and notecards. 

This entire lot cost me a little under $2! Some of the pencil boxes I will be using to organize my office supplies box for easier access throughout the year. The notecards are great for quick lists or to keep in the car for those "I need paper!" moments. The pack of Sharpie markers were $1 for 5. I picked up the color pencils as I noticed my kids have gone through most of theirs and were .50. You are supposed to have a $5 minimum purchase. What I found is that when they scan everything, then total it out - the discounts apply.

First day of school has arrived!

Time to cry tears of joy! Freedom from the munchkins for 8 hours!!! Okay not really. Tears of bittersweet. I'm proud of my boys getting an education. I'm sad that I have been unable to provide it all myself. But this will work for the better for our family. 

I stayed up after they went to bed to make sure all the school uniforms were clean and paired together. 

Yes, I even had fresh underwear set out. I made their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with plenty of snack-like foods to keep them full today. I froze their fruit flavored waters so that they would slowly defrost and provide something cold to drink. 

To save time, I also laid out their socks in their shoes. Moms and dads know how hard multiple shoes and socks can be to keep together. This is why larger families don't fly. 

My oldest wanted to be a butt about getting his picture taken, but at the last minute made this face. My younger son was super excited. That is until we got to the school. 

His dad had to push him along to class. It's going to be quite interesting when we finally pick them up later today. I have a feeling it will look something like this when we get home...