From Broken Toy to Fun Play With Mom

My oldest daughter has a Barbie that she got from her aunt. Her name is Summer. She is a fully jointed, made-to-move doll that my daughter has carried around and used in scenes ever since she got her. However, Summer had an accident. One that broke her hand at the wrist. Despite her Dad and I trying to fix it, we had to admit defeat and tell our girl that she would have to just bear with the broken hand. So for many months now, she has been taping and re-taping the wrist to keep the hand from falling off. She has since purchased another made-to-move doll, but Summer is still one of her main characters in play. So she doesn't want to give her up. But Dad finally told her that re-taping the hand is getting old and burning through the tape. So what to do? 

Mom has an idea!

I decided that Summer wasn't out the picture yet. She had an accident, but aside from losing a hand, she is still functional. So I started a new story line for the girls to follow and continue with the imaginative play! I told them to pick an accident. They can work it into their ongoing story during play time. And Summer would now become an amputee doll. We have done this before. Or I should say, my little sister did this before. She had an 18" doll that lost an arm. We turned her in Bethany Hamilton! 

Creating the new story with pictures! 

We have enjoyed setting up photo scenes with the dolls for about a year or so now. I make accessories and clothes that fit the needs. The girls give me ideas and help me set everything up. Since Summer "lost" her hand in an accident, we decided to set up the hospital scene!

We started with the initial hospital room. Family is gathered around the patient. Pink haired Avery is the "Mom" to Summer. She brought the hand in a jar in the hopes that the doctor would be able to reattach it. We made this room more realistic by adding printed posters that you might see in a doctors office. Resizing was simple in a Linux version of Word.

These are Grandpa and Grandma. Here for emotional support. Grandma kept her figure well, don't you think? I love her pearls!

Summer's husband is comforting her and keeping her calm through this. I think I need to make some of the posters a little bigger. They were a mix of scale sizes.

The doctor is studying her notes while Avery asks her about the hands viability.

Time for the doctor to examine the hand while they wait for the x-ray to come through. To make this realistic, I used a tiny jar from the Dollar Tree store. I cut a small piece of gauze, put a drop of red food coloring in the middle, and put the hand on top. Amazingly enough, the hand fit perfectly!

The lid even closes on top. We talked about adding the hand to my future science lab scene. Just a little yellow water after removing the gauze and it will look just like it is in formaldehyde! That or make it a Thingette? (Addams family anyone?)

Well, the x-ray came back. Bad news. Can't reattach the hand after all. Sorry Summer, but you will have to learn to live without it. We wrapped her nub with gauze and a strip of light pink washi tape. Looked just like a surgical bandage. The x-ray was printed after resizing.

The big reveal! Summer now has a nub. I had a very light pink colored play dough. Scars in the beginning are typically a brighter pink. But after adding a sealant to keep it in place, I'm hoping it will darken slightly. In the future, we may make Summer a hook attachment for fun. Or maybe even look into 3D printing a sort of prosthetic? I have some ideas. For now, the girls have been enjoying creating her new story. Shark bite? Industrial accident? Who knows what they will decide. But Summer has a new life now.

Bonding Over Barbie

I have never been the best at playing Barbies with others. I would most often go with a friend to a church to play while her mother worked as the secretary. But she would often tell me what my dolls were supposed to do or say. For the sake of keeping the peace, I would sometimes follow along. Other times I just had to come up with the better idea for our playing. Especially when she wanted the dolls to play "dirty", if you know what I mean. 

Fast forward to now. I have two little girls who love playing with their dolls. And to listen to them, they are often telling each other what to do. Instead of just reacting to the other player. So when they ask me to jump in... I usually do not want to. 

During the pandemic, however, I found something fun that makes playing with them easier to handle. Grandma Gets Real and My Froggy Stuff gave me the inspiration. Oh and Bella_Belladoll! They are my favorites by far. I have gotten ideas for making doll accessories, clothing and furniture without having to pay a ton of money. As well as ideas for posing and taking photos of the dolls. This is something the girls have been enjoying doing with me. 

We now take our dolls around town. The library and parks are a favorite for us all. The local library in the town we lived in was having a summer reading program when we took these. As well as a Find the Mermaid Tails treasure hunt. You find a tail, you win a prize! The last time we went, the girls' both found a tail and we couldn't help but take some quick pictures.

We pretend together with our respective dolls, and I don't have to go crazy with someone trying to tell me how to play! I'd call that a Mom win for sure.

Bonus part is that we (older daughter and I) are also both learning to take better photos. She has helped me take pictures when I was busy with other things.

We even had fun having the Barbies pack for our move! After all, not all the dolls should move in the boxes. We had to save out a couple dolls and props for the photos to come before the move, during the move, and as we entered the new home. It just adds to the adventure for us girls. So our dolls had quite the discussion on what to pack away and what to put in our suitcases to take in the car with us. We were so excited about making the trip! 

However, the best part has been collaborating with my girls. They are so full of ideas. We talk about what would be considered important in our pretend houses. Then Mom gets to try to recreate those things. I'm not always successful at it. But I like to think I do pretty good. My youngest made my day recently when she ran up to give me a hug and said," Thank you for being such a good Mommy!" It really is the little things. (Get it? Little, as in the dolls....) 

Your turn! Tell me what you think every dollhouse needs. I can't wait to get some new ideas. Drop a comment below. And who knows? I might actually build it! 

Those Special Moments in a Mom's Life

I recently came across a blog post by a fellow Mom. She talked about things that people just don't understand unless they are Moms. And it really had me laughing. It brought back memories of raising my own children and the way things changed with that. She made a list of 15 Things People Don't Know About Mom Life. The following ones resonated with me.

1. Kids grow fingernails overnight. I feel like they must be sneaking the biotin vitamins from the bathroom or something. Hair and fingernails are constantly needing trimming! 

2. Bath time is a must. Not just so they can get clean, but so that we have a moment to breathe. It is a containment zone. For a least a few minutes, you can maybe clean something or sit down. But this only works when they are old enough to supervise their own bath! 

4. Their spit is whatever. I can't ever forget the look on my husbands face when I shrugged and popped the dirty pacifier in my mouth to clean it off before giving it to our 4th kid. I think he was secretly gagging. But that's just how this goes. They want to share something they are eating or drinking with you, you kinda just go with it. Daddy just doesn't have it in him to be that sharing. 

5. We become butt sniffers. I laughed so hard at this one! It is way too true. We catch a whiff of something and the first reaction we have is to lift the butt to our face to smell. Once they reach the running around age, we graduate to pulling the diaper/undies away to look in at the butt. I would love to hear what some of you non-parents think about this approach! 

6. Personal space? What's that?! We don't seem to notice when this truly begins. We just know that eventually our lap and either seat next to us becomes prize real estate. Fights and arguments break out as to who deserves or who's turn it is to see as close as humanly possible to Mom. Thankfully, they will also do that with Dad. So there is more spaces to go around. Going to the bathroom is now a show, as everyone needs something the moment I duck in one. I've just about given up on shutting the door at all.

8. Hot coffee, or even meals, are a thing of the past. I am now starting to remember what hot meals are like. And once the kids are tucked in, hot chamomile tea is my comfort. But in the beginning, by the time everyone is settled and you are able to stay sitting longer than the span of a single bite, your meal has cooled considerably. 

9. The Mom bun. She prefers the bun. I have a low pony tail. It is basically whatever fast, simple style you can do that keeps the hair out the way and free from grasping fingers. I think my last kid made the low pony tail a must. I don't know what her deal is, but ever since babyhood, she has had a thing for sniffing my hair. Yes, you read that right. She smells my HAIR. Grabs a nice handful and breathes it in. Don't know why. Reminds me of that guy on the Charlie's Angel movie...

And since the scent of Mommy has been so important for her, we actually use my used pillow case to cover her pillow so that she sleeps better.

10. It can be so lonely, despite not being alone. I'm surrounded all day, every day by at least one. And yet, the feeling of loneliness hits hard quite often. It is simply not the same thing as having adult interactions. Conversating with others that are on your level. You start to miss it greatly. I talk to my husband, usually when we do our devotions. Sometimes for 2 hours before I realize it. 

11. That moment when the kids are asleep and the house is clean-ish. It's one of those rare Ahhhh moments. If we had background music to life, it would be an angelic choir. It won't last long, so you savor it before you sleep. But to get there, you have to quickly run through a clean up as soon as they all lay down! 

12. When they are playing nicely, you don't disturb them! Especially right now, when we are locked up at home due to covid-19 closures. Every couple of minutes, I have either someone wanting to tattle on their sibling or someone yelling at the other for something ridiculous. So when they are playing in unison and enjoying each others company, I say nothing. I don't care if I have chores for them to do. I don't care about the toys in the living room. It's bliss for a little while. 

13. We don't always pick what our kids wear. So when you see my kids walking through the store in mismatched clothing or my daughter wearing her tall boots with shorts - just smile and nod. Keep walking, pal. I don't always pick out their clothes. As a matter of a fact, the only time I do is for special family gatherings. When I know we have pictures to take. Aside from that, they all pick their own outfits. Even the 3 year old. Now, I will, however, tell my 7 year old when something is too short to change. My girls aren't allowed to look like skanks in my household. 

15. That moment when the baby falls asleep on you and you commit to not moving. The world is peaceful when the baby sleeps. So you tell yourself that nothing needs doing bad enough to risk waking the child. And you will sit rigidly still, until 1 of 2 things happens. 1. the baby wakes up. Or 2. you fall asleep and slump in the chair with the kid. Done them both! 

So tell me. What parenting moments snuck up on you and changed you without the realization hitting you? Leave me a comment below!

4 Huge Reasons That Lego DUPLO Are a Must Have

Toys are more than just entertainment in our home. We believe that they are a way to create imaginative play. A way to grow and learn. From geology to the circuit building sets, and then to the Lego bricks! All of these things have been welcomed into our home for play that is meaningful.

*Disclaimer: I was sent the All-in-One-Box free of charge, for my honest review and to share with guests at a party that I hosted. I was not otherwise paid or endorsed by Lego DUPLO.*

I played with my Lego bricks, growing up. I loved building and exploring the possibilities. And since then, they have only gotten cooler! There are more complex pieces. Additionally, there are bigger ones now that I can let my babies play with. Lego DUPLO are perfect for my toddler. She can't shove them in her mouth and block airways. What she can do is build her castles to the sky. She can build a train that whistles as it runs the along the track through her city. Her characters are animal and human - and always fun! They have adventures together. Buzz Lightyear is often seen riding his "horse" (which is actually a goat) to save the children in a runaway train! 

Why should you check Lego DUPLO out?

As parents, we want our kids to build their imaginations. It leads to more creative thinking later in life. We live in an age where kids are glued to electronic devices starting at an early age. Studies have shown that this isn't helping them long term. They need toy time. Time to play with their hands, increasing their motor functions. Lego bricks are the perfect way to do just that! There are manuals, but after building the set once, I have found that kids can't resist taking it apart and then building something of their own design. This is great! My kids don't just build an object. They build stories in their minds. 

Motor functions - Lego DUPLO are perfect for little hands. Easy to handle, easy to take apart and put together. They are designed with little people in mind. They learn motor control of their hands. A skill that needs to be built and refined through life.

No limitations - There are sets for all kinds of imaginations. Super heroes, farms, trains, wild animals - you know the new Frozen movie? Elsa and Anna are back! They are gender neutral. While I don't think all toys should be, I am glad that Lego are. Trains and animals, vehicles or movie characters - no matter who they are favored by - can be enjoyed by both boys and girls.

 Life skill learning- Imagination isn't the only learning they do. My daughter has a train that has the numbers she can count as she puts them on. We practice saying the colors too. Naming the different animals. Now, I know she is only a toddler, but dare I say we are promoting engineering as well? Let's say she wants to build a great tower. She needs to know how to balance the bricks and connect them well so that they won't just fall over. I know, I know. Big concepts for a 3 year old. But we gotta start them off somewhere, yes? And this is the fun way to do just that. 

What else does Lego DUPLO offer? 

How about a party planning hub? You read that right. They will help you plan out your party! From invitations you can print to the napkin holder, and on to the games! You can check it all out here. There is a gift finder that makes figuring out what your kid would like most, even easier.

I even found items at the local Dollar Tree to use for my Lego DUPLO party. Plates and napkins and little party favor boxes. These were added to the plates and favor bags that Lego sent me and it was awesome! 

Party planning and hosting at its finest!  

Lego DUPLO sent me an amazing party pack to get my on my way to hosting a wonderful party. 

My daughter really got into the party spirit as we prepared for her party. They have little masks you can print. She called them her "friends"! They have a couple more in the variety that are so much fun.

We put the stickers that Lego sent in the bags along with other party favors I picked up. Oriental Trading Company has some building brick themed items that are perfect as well!

 

Thanks to my love of Pinterest, I came across the idea to make Lego themed rice crispy treats.

Then they played with the All-in-One Box! The good thing about Lego DUPLO bricks are that older kids can really connect with their younger siblings and friends as they play. They bond, as it were. At least my kids did.

There are all kinds of games on the birthday hub that you can play. The tower building one was my favorite. 
I highly suggest you take a look and see what you can come up with! Then let me know what you liked the best. I'd love to hear from you in the comments below! 

Not Wasting Time on Tying Shoes This Year

If the first three months are going to be any idea of what the rest of the year holds, then we are going to be on the go a lot. With 4 kids, that means a lot of waiting on shoes to get tied. Well, it would. If we didn't have Hickies to help! 

*Disclaimer: I was sent these products through my association with US Family Guide in exchange for my honest review. I was not otherwise paid or endorsed. All opinion are my own.*

Hickies take the hassle out of shoe tying. Hard enough keeping track of their shoes, let alone in making sure each one is tied. My kids are 10, 8, 6 and 2. The oldest two really tried my patience while teaching them how to tie their shoes. More times than I care to recall, I had to stop and get them to tie their shoes or I had to tie them. When you are in a hurry, this makes things difficult. Or how about those cool super hero shoelaces that refuse to stay tied?? Oh yeah.... 

So how do Hickies help Parents? 

You slide these rubber straps in place and fasten. Then your kids only need to slide their shoes on. Voila! You are ready to go. They save you time and energy.  I chose the Red and the Black and Silver Metallic ones. Each pack has enough laces for a pair shoes. Depending on you lace yours up, you may even have some left over. 

Check out these awesome features:

Works in any shoe with eyelets.

One size fits all.

Elastic material keeps shoes secure yet comfortable.

Never tie again! Play is uninterrupted.

Fun look, without the messy knots and bows.

Adjustable tightness.

Quick and easy - simply slip on and off. Especially if you want to switch out colors to match your outfit!

Good for adults too! 

Do you run a lot? Do your shoes come untied sometimes? This will keep that from slowing you down! They include a guide that shows you how to use them in various styles so that you can wear them tight or wear them loose.

 Get your savings here!

Never tie, never worry. Get Hickies Never Tie Laces on hickies.com, with 20% off using code USFAM. 

Would you use them? How could they be useful to you? Leave me a comment below and let me know what you like most or what ideas you have for them!  

Learning to Handle My Children's Bed Wetting

This past week has been... stressful to say the least. It is a wonder that my blood pressure stayed normal at my doctors appointments. There have been so many appointments. And then my older daughter caught strep. Again. We had an impromptu visit to the clinic on Sunday, with her missing school the next day.

Thus it began...

On Tuesday, we had an appointment with a psychologist as referred by my children's pediatrician. I confess, I was confounded by my boys' inability to master the bed-wetting issue. We had tried everything. Pullups, no juice or sweet drinks, nothing to drink after dinner (usually around 5PM) and even waking them up (if you can call it that) to go potty in the middle of the night. Nothing worked. They continued to sleep like the dead. And still wet themselves nightly. After seeking advice from the pediatrician, he told us it was high time we went to see the psychologist. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but at the same time I did not want to give up all hope.

A doctor I can respect!

She was nothing like I expected. A seasoned woman with 40 years of experience, working with kids. And very traditional. She had no qualms with telling my boys that they were old enough to change their sheets, make their beds, put away their clothes, etc. She also told them that by law, I need only provide food and a roof over their heads and that they needed to be responsible for keeping themselves cleaned and be thankful. Talk about earning my respect immediately! As a matter of fact, she told them that we are changing their diets and they will eat what they are given without complaint or they may as well accept that they will be wetting the bed for many more years to come.

I was a little concerned by her declaration of the diet changes. Drinking water - check! One sweet per week - check! Wait... that means no cereal and no poptarts unless that is the one sweet they choose for a week? Okay... I suppose that isn't so bad. And then the big one. No more than 1200 mg of sodium a day. What does that mean? More fruits and veggies? We can handle that. No chips? Hmm... okay... "Read labels." Do you know what I have learned since starting this practice? Too much. The amount of sodium in EVERYTHING is appalling. No wonder the blood tests showed normal for me, but high for my oldest boy.On average, we consume about 4,000-5,000 mg PER DAY of sodium. The night we had dinner after our appointment, I measured out the "Suggested Serving" sizes and counted up how much it equaled. A single serving was about 2,000 mg. We are talking a single cordon bleu breast, half a cup of au gratin potatoes and 2/3 a cup of mashed potatoes (kids and husband wanted two kinds of potatoes, normally I have a different side). I was floored! Starting looking in the pantry. I had just bought snacks for school. Huge multi-pack of crackers and a couple bags of single serve chips. Those little bags alone are about 300 mg each. 

(Snack items we had bought for the kids = all very high in sodium)

I don't know how well this will work out. We have decided to do this as a family. All for one and one for all! But oh man.... I'm struggling. I keep wishing we could just not do this anymore. At all. We even talked about only trying to get it lessened. Like maybe cut our salt intake by half? Just gotta get the kids trained to not pee in the bed anymore. I can't wait until we can have sweets back too. But I am loving the more vegetarian-like approach. Loading up on fruits and vegetables. I just need more meal ideas.... Got any??

Here We Go AGAIN....

What the heck is wrong with this world?! 

The first week of school is not even completed and already we parents are in uproar. Judson ISD Transportation - you are in for a rude awakening. Tomorrow morning, the local Kens5 News crew is coming to investigate the injustices our kids are enduring on the bus system. And they will be met by a bunch of angry parents in the process. 

Always changing something that worked to something ridiculous. 

I have been trying to get in touch with someone about the bus route. This year, they have the stop in a dangerous spot. Kids have to cross the street in front of the bus to enter its doors. With cars that don't often want to stop or have a tendency to try to turn around to avoid waiting for the loading and unloading. Moving cars and kids in the same street = danger, in my opinion. 

They are riding a different bus nearly everyday, but all of them have little to no AC and they are not letting the windows down due to "liability" and "dust" issues (depending on who you talk to). Don't know about you, but my kids, in 100+ degree weather, in what could be described as a giant metal can on wheels makes my blood boil within me. 

Thus the bullying returns.

Then, today, my son tells me that he is being bullied by a "big kid". Guess which Mama is going onto the bus tomorrow? I did it last year and I will do it again this year. Touch my kids - you answer to me! 
This is a healthy reminder to all parents. Watch, listen and be ready to act. Our kids depend on us. We have to stand up for them at times. And for those other times... well, let's just say that I'm going to be teaching my kids how to handle unwanted touching. And if someone else's kid gets hurt - they gonna learn to keep their hands to themselves. I've had a lot on my plate this week, physically and mentally speaking, and this is the straw breaking this camels back. Tomorrow is gonna start with changes.

Lead a Child in the Way They Should Go

Today I came to a strong realization of the reality I face. 

My boys are hitting puberty! 

Oh, yes. I know we are there. Not physically. That's something I told them to tell Daddy. I can't help with any of those things. Not really. But mentally. Yes, I can go there with them on the changes that are affecting how they think and act. Today was just further proof. 

I got up and got to work as is my usual. As I'm cleaning the kitchen mess, my oldest son comes up and starts talking about his hair. Then my other son chimes in. It was time to cut their hair again, but now they are wanting to get fancy... Now they are talking about how they want to cut it in various sizes and they want to make it spiky. Sadly, I don't have gel, so I'm off the hook with talking spikes. Normally, I just give them a buzz cut or maybe a little more military style with it shaved close on the sides and back and slightly longer on top. So today's hair cutting took a lot longer than it normally does. We experimented with the lengths until they had what they wanted. It is still shorter on the sides and back while longer on top, but it is the lengths they wanted. Now we just have to get better with the showers that come after as both boys had bits of hair all over their necks, ears and foreheads after they said they were all "clean". 

Then there is the talking about girls. My boys are heart breakers. Oldest has brown hair and green eyes. Younger one is blonde with blue eyes. Both are tall and lean for their ages. But their personality speaks volumes. My older son is outgoing. He loves talking. Loves people. You mention girls, though... let's just say he gives a tomato a run for the money in how red he can get. And, oh boy, does he giggle nervously! But even so, he asks a lot of questions. A lot of, well, deep questions. He wants to know everything. My younger son is the opposite. Shy, but very intelligent. He doesn't speak out often, but when he does, it is often a dropped mic moment with stunned faces around him. For my husband and I, it has been challenging. We let them tell us what they think and then correct where needed. We elaborate as much as they ask us to. But on their level. Which is why the sex talk has already happened. For all three of our older children. (Yes, the 5 year old was right there asking too.) Besides, they all talk on an equal level among themselves. So even if we had only talked to the boys, it would not have been long before they told their sister all about it. 

Now we are having other serious conversations. Not just about how sex affects life, but about how choices have consequences. How treating others makes or breaks relationships. For my sons, I have decided to raise them with chivalry being a characteristic to hold on to. I am a traditional woman. I want my husband to open doors for me. I will stand outside the van and wait for him to open the door for me to get in. I let him get the heavier bags when we go to the store. I walk on the inside of the sidewalk and he takes the side closer to the street. If he offers me the last seat available, most likely I will accept with a smile and a thank you. I often take his arm as we walk side by side. Not always from need, but because I just like to. He holds the umbrella and does his best to make sure it covers me most of all. I couldn't care less about the feminists out there who protest such treatments. Do you, honey - but ain't no way I want my husband to stop treating me like his queen. And in respect for how he treats me, I treat him as my king. He has earned that respect. Only four men I have met in my lifetime who have done such for me. And that is what I'm teaching my sons. I have already told them that a girl who gets mad at them for doing something nice for her, isn't the kind of girl they should want to be around. Say what you want, but what it boils down to is not about female power and equality. There is a time and a place for that. Like getting paid equally to any man in the same job. Being able to vote. Having equal opportunities. I'm all for it. But that does not mean that we should give up the joy of having a door held open for us. Let's say I was not into a chivalrous man. What about this - you don't know where other hands have been that have touched door handles before you. Ever think about that? So why not allow a gentleman to do it for you? Do you really want to stand on the bus when all seats are taken, just for the sake of your pride? Heck no! A man offers his seat, I'll accept it gladly. Why? I appreciate the kind gesture. 

And yes, we do need to know the difference between flirting and a kind act...

As parents, we have a responsibility in raising our children to be better. Manners are the base. Respect is going a step further. Kindness and generosity should be given freely. But for our sons, they need to know how to treat a woman. And our daughters need to be shown how they should expect to be treated. I don't want my daughters to end up in the clutches of an abusive jerk. I want her to have respect. I want her to feel as though she is loved above any other, and always will be. Call me overly optimistic, if you please, but I think it is a noble goal. My first marriage crashed and burned much like my first, second and third dating trials. I've learned what I can handle and what I absolutely won't stand for. I am teaching my kids to figure these out too. Know what you want from a relationship, but be prepared to give in return and in equal. In a way, it all goes back to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When did we part ways from this? And when did we forget to raise our standards and expect better?

Be The Observant Parent, Not the Passive One

Tonight I write of a frightening event that I found out about today. A boy in my sons class brought a knife to school. Second grade. Little boy. With a knife?! What is going on with today's kids?? Since when do kids do these types of things? What was he thinking? This comes right after the kids heard about the Houston high school shooting. And the school sent home a letter in all the kids' backpack that it has been taken care of. Which according to the little boy that is in my sons class and lives across from us, means that the boy was kicked out of school for the rest of the year. Which is a little under 2 weeks. The letter also stated that no one was in danger. Who do you think you are kidding?! A sharp kitchen knife can be just as dangerous as a gun in the wrong hands. Maybe even more so! After all, it's a far less noisy killer. How many kids could have been stabbed before someone realized what was going on?? 

I'm infuriated. I fear for my kids going to school. Maybe I'm overreacting to some parents. I admit to being overprotective. I love my babies and I do everything I can to protect them, while knowing I can't protect them all the time. 

After talking to the parent of the child who clued us in to more of what happened today, she was telling me of a game that is becoming quite popular. Bendy and the Ink Machine. At first glance, it looks a little weird, but okay. Then you read the description and it talks about the character facing his demons. Sounds a little more mature... Then I watched the game play with my husband of the first chapter. My impression? Not worthy of a child's eyes. One room has a cartoon character strapped to a movable table that looks like his chest cavity has been ripped open or something burst out of it. A scary apparition of some sort jumped out and you see this witches circle pentagram on the floor. Sadly, most parents that allow their kids to play this one probably don't even realize what is in it. It is a free download on Steam. Anyone can fake their age on there and get what they are wanting to download. 

I don't believe that video games are the reason there is more violence in the world. Not entirely. Take Minecraft. Yes, you have to kill zombies or creepers or even a giant spider from time to time. But I happily allow my kids to play it and join in their game. It's a building game. And so mild that anyone can play without fear of nightmares. They play Plants vs Zombies too. First person shooter, but it is really plants killing zombies or vice versa depending on which team you want to be on. Mario Kart is racing. Love it! So many games can be played without giving way to anger or hatred. It is the attitude and the upbringing that can lead to more violence than these games. My husband and I love playing Black Ops, 7 Days to Die and Battlefield. Don't see us raging and wanting to kill. 

Parents - pay attention. Don't be the parent that finds out their child has major issues. Not if you can help it. Play an active role in your kids life. You only have one shot. Make it count.

When Did Schools Start Failing?

The more I know about the public school system, the less inclined I feel to have my children enrolled. My two boys are struggling and my kindergartner is going through the same torture that myself and others who were considered "gifted and talented" went through. Sad to say, but in the past 22 years, the school system still has not changed in that regard. 

My oldest son has a teacher who pretends she has it all together. Lady can't be on time to her class. But complains that my son isn't taking advantage of coming to class early when she is "always there at 7 to help with homework". She doesn't truly listen to the parents who are trying to get their kids the best education available to them. She doesn't know how to communicate effectively with parents on misconduct acts. Although lets face it, neither of my kids second grade teachers are able to use proper grammar or spelling in their emails to me. Even some of the homework sheets they send home are full of errors. Both in the English and in the math. She expects every child in her class to be honest when they are being bad. She doesn't show that she bothers checking homework assignments outside of simple reading projects. She gets an attitude when her assumptions of what should happen don't (i.e. - parent calls instead of arriving for a face-to-face meeting). And here is my favorite ill conceived idea of hers - kids have to earn the right to have their snack in class. These are second graders being forced to go from breakfast at 7 AM (or earlier if they are eating at home) to 12:19 without their snacks. And on some days, while having PE class in between. My kids have hyperactive digestion systems. They burn through what energy they get from eating pretty quick. And they get hungry. But in her class, you have to earn the right to eat. Otherwise, you can sit there and watch others eat. And if your snack doesn't meet her idea of "healthy", you also won't get to eat. Granted, when I was in their grade level over 20 years ago (yes, I'm dating myself now), we didn't have snack time. That is something newer in the schools. Then again, we didn't hear much about how many American kids are starving and only eat at school either. Another problem I am butting heads with this teacher on is how she thinks (or is the normal guidelines in schools now) that it is more important for a 9 year old to know how to get the answer rather than get the answer. What do I mean by this? My son can do the math in his head, but struggles when he has to show his work or label the strategy that is used. She makes the kids label each part of the problem and then solve it. He knows the answer, but that is not important to her. How is he getting the answer? My cousin was a math genius who couldn't show the work, but could solve any problem in his head. Got accused of cheating no matter how he proved that he wasn't. Remember, this was before cell phones and calculators were being carried by everyone. She says she is treating the kids as though they are in the third grade already. Lady, you are forcing them to grow up before they are there yet! Why?! She also had the balls to make the statement that I need to help my son be more independent because she knows that I have "other kids" and my "focus is divided". Followed by other statements leaning towards the idea that because I have 4 kids (which is a lot to a woman like her), I can't devote as much time to each one as is needed. Sweetheart... be glad we were talking on the phone or you might have needed to take a sick day. So help me... Who does she think she is? As another mother, who removed her child from this teachers class, pointed out - we Mothers have different levels of what we can handle. Some Moms can only have one. It is all they can take. Some Moms have 2, 3, or 4 kids and that is their limit. My Mother has 10. We all have different thresholds of where we can balance ourselves. I hold to the belief that God gives us what we can handle. 4 is my limit. But I'll be darned if I don't give them my all and give them the attention they need as they need it. I might be poor. I might not have a college degree. But I have a heart full of love. A love that overflows for my kids. So tread lightly when you make out that I'm not fully able to be there for any one of them. 

My other son excels at math, but he's not confident in reading because he isn't as good at it. I feel his pain. It is the same that I had when it came to math. I'm not sure I qualify for even average. But I excelled in reading to the point that I was "gifted" you might say. But because of this deficiency in one subject, she doesn't feel he is truly ready to pass and is, instead, "placing" him in third grade next year to be "watched and assessed". When did it stop being a pass or fail? When did they introduce the "placing" method for the grey liners? Not in the red (failing), but not in the black (passing). So we put in this middle category and hope you make it. GAH! 

Then we have my kindergartner. This girl is already reading nearly as well as her older brothers. She sounds out words that I wouldn't have seen her reading yet. She attempts math that is ahead of her. So her teacher, seeing her long strides, sends home an assessment to see where we think she stands and if we think she is worthy of being tested for the gifted program. I'm all for it. I think that just maybe the system has changed and maybe they will later advance her if they see her pulling far enough ahead of her own level. Challenge her and see where she lands! What do they do? Start sending home packets of worksheets. Enough that she has to do 5-7 pages a night, Monday to Thursday and hand them all in on Friday morning. Where have I seen this before... Ah, yes! My cousin. Same grade level work or slightly ahead, but not advancing him. It was just to keep him busy and to make him feel better about being smarter than everyone else. My daughter gets so fed up after the 3rd page that she just starts whining and begging to be let go. She can't play games with her brothers who have maybe half of the workload she does now. She can't have play time with neighborhood friends all the time during the week either. No time. Just enough to eat dinner, shower and get to bed. 

That's another thing. My kids have to sleep early. They wake up at 6 AM to eat, dress and be ready to walk to the bus stop every morning. They don't have much time between getting off the bus and bed time. Especially not when they keep getting new bus drivers who don't know where they are going. They dropped some kid off at the wrong stop recently. Poor kid had to walk home a ways. Bus driver didn't realize the mistake until the next stop, where that kid should have been let off, when no one came forward to get off the bus. They just call a name from the list and say, "Get off here". Some days, we stand at the bus stop worrying that something bad has happened. At which point, we are all dialing the school and get the phone picked up by stressed out admin staff that say the bus will arrive "soon". 

This system is too broken. You are facing kids so bogged down instead of promoted up that they want to quit school as soon as possible. I have said it before and I say it again - public schools are like prisons. You have teachers that are not getting proper support from the administrative roles above them. You have admin that are blaming teachers for student not passing, no matter what the teacher does. Every couple of weeks, it seems like I'm getting requests for money or supplies. Some fundraiser is happening or something else is missing in the classroom. They send home pictures of my kids that I did not authorize them taking and say I can buy them or send them back. Just don't send them at all! Then there are holidays every month. If not a national holiday, there are student holiday/staff training days. I don't remember having so much time out of school when I was incarcerated in the public system. How about the fact that they are not teaching real life lessons as much as teaching what will be on the next test? It is all about getting kids to pass a test and make the passing grades higher for the schools rating. My second graders still are not being taught cursive in school. They aren't retaining some of this other fluff stuff though either. They spent a single day practicing how to write a letter. Still don't do it right. I'm having to show them that art as well. But they have to learn about Kwanzaa and Ramadan at Christmas time. Because that will be helpful in their lives. 

My husband and I have agreed. Either next year or some time before they reach 5th grade, they will be home schooled. I'm done putting up with this crap. I want my kids to succeed at life. I want them to learn real skills. And I'm going to have to show them how. Because I just don't see it happening in the public school system anymore. And with the latest school shooting... I don't see them being safe anymore either.