Valentine's Day Musings

I'm not a big fan of the holiday. It has been too much of a corporate thing. As a society, I believe we have moved away from it being about the celebration of love and friendship. Now it is a chance to get something we want out of a significant other. Flowers, candy and gems for the ladies. Sex for the guys. (Though I will say, guys, if you have to bribe her to get some, you are doing it all wrong.) Anyway... Not sure exactly when this transition happened, but disgusted with it nonetheless. However, it is not completely without it's merits. It makes for a great excuse to get away on date night (when you have someone to watch the kiddos). Every once in a while, it can be a time to send cards and gifts to others if you are into that sort of thing. My husband and I don't celebrate it as a couple. And we don't really have a family tradition for it. He and I celebrate the love we have for each other every day of the year. Ours is the kind of love where we try to out-give the other as much as possible, not just in things, but in affirmations and encouragement. So picking one day in the year to do so seems foolish to me.

What is with all the pink?! 

I guess I'm not really into the overload of pink everywhere. I'm a more mellow type of gal. I prefer blues, reds and, yes, the occasional black. And then there are the hearts. Hearts in general are mushy to me. So you won't catch me decorating the house with them. 

However, that doesn't mean that I don't have a trinket or two around the house that show off hearts. My favorite type of heart is the one with wings. Why? The phrase, "Give my heart wings that it may soar" comes to mind. It bears the meaning of freedom. Not being bound to limitations. I first fell in love with the winged heart when someone gave me a necklace. I treasure this necklace, despite not having any ties to the one who gifted it. It is a reminder that my heart is free.

I don't remember who gave me this or where they found it, but I love it. I've held on to it for all these years. I am reminded that we can't judge someone or something by what we see outside only. For there could be a gem hidden inside that shines through the rough edges. This looks like a tough nut on the outside, but inside it hides a beautiful heart. I have since given it to my son to keep with his geological collection.

These are the only hearts I deemed worthy of hanging on to. 

So tell me. What does Valentine's Day mean to you? Share your favorite memory or something you love about it in your comments below. I can't wait to hear them! And Happy Valentine's Day! Or Single Awareness Day! Both are equal in my book.

Rituals Valentine's Day Box is Here! (Review)

Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Gift ideas are abundant out there. It can feel like an explosion of pink and red has taken over the world. Personally, Valentine's Day isn't a holiday I'm big on celebrating. My husband and I refer to it as Singles Awareness Day. That being said, I am all for an excuse to spoil myself with something nice. And what could be better than a Rituals box??

*Disclaimer: I was sent these products for the sole purpose of trying them out, writing reviews and sharing them with my readers. I was not otherwise paid or endorsed. All opinions are strictly my own.*

I love being a member of the Tryazon community of bloggers! You never know what you will get to try. This one came from their TryaBox program. This is the Rituals Sakura box. 

What is Rituals?

Rituals is a company that produces luxury lifestyle products that are focused on ancient eastern traditions. Their products span home and body use. They are the leading bath and body brand in Europe, encouraging folks to take a moment here and there to smell the roses, as it were. We get so caught up in the daily grind, that we miss the little joys. My favorite is taking a long, warm bath. Some might prefer to light a candle and just bask in the homey scent. Slow down and just breathe once in a while. The human body, mind and soul needs moments of enhanced calm. They have so many amazing products to check out. 

What comes in the Sakura box?

First, let me say that this box itself is a keepsake. It is the perfect gift! Comes with a gift tag too. Inside is a body scrub, shower foam, body cream and hand wash. 

When I first got it, I was getting over sickness. My nose was so messed up, that I couldn't smell. Normally, I'm not a fan of the cherry blossom scent. It is typically too strong for me. Wasn't always, but after having my 3rd child, my preferences changed and the strong cherry blossom would make me sick. So imagine my surprise when I could finally smell it! It was so light, that I thought I hadn't fully recovered yet. I had my husband do a sniff test for me. But we came to the conclusion that it was light and airy. I loved it! 

Feeling luxurious!

Just opening the box is an experience. It is so beautifully put together. I feel pampered from the start. The idea behind the Sakura collection is to celebrate each new day. The Sakura blossom is short-lived, much like our lives. Their beauty is quick. So we should revel in it while we can. Enjoy the new beginnings! 

There is a process to using these products. Or rather, there could be. 4 steps that have been timed at 26 minutes total. You start with the cleanse, using the Foaming Shower Gel.

Doesn't take much. Once your skin is clean, you want to exfoliate with the Body Scrub. This one is done about twice a week to remove deeper impurities to keep your skin silky smooth. After these two, you need to nourish the skin. That is where the Body Cream comes in. Massage it in. My husband likes to quote a movie phrase of, "Get in nice and deep like." The final phase wasn't included in the box, but looks like a worthy addition - Hair & Body Mist. This mist can be used on your skin, hair, linens or other textiles to keep the freshness ever close. Instead, they included the Hand Soap. With all the handwashing we are doing these days, this is a huge bonus to have around! My husband even put some of the body cream on his chapped hands. Between winter and his job, his hands are often like sandpaper. He was impressed by the lack of oiliness that most creams have and the smoothness his hands had afterwards. 

Perfect time to buy!

They are having a huge sale right now. I even saw something 60% off. So if you want to grab a gift or two, now is your best time. Check HERE.

My final thoughts are...

This is a perfect gift for Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, birthdays - or just to celebrate a special woman in your life. I loved trying these out. The feel of my skin afterwards. Everything! With so much being closed, it was like having a pampering day in the comfort of my own home. That is what Rituals is all about to me.

True Love Doesn't Need a Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Stores were putting out goodies before Christmas had even passed. Now we are seeing red and hearts everywhere we look. 
It is the one day a year that most people expect to be shown exceptional love. Sadly, most of these people are shallow and don't realize they are missing out the rest of the year. Ever notice how much effort is put into showing off how they were spoiled on that one day? I'm happy to say that my husband spoils me every single day. No, he doesn't buy me expensive chocolates so that I can complain about gaining weight. He's smart enough to know that fresh flowers are not going to last and that the mess they leave doesn't bring me joy anymore. I'm not the type that wears jewelry often. And of course, even if I wore jewelry more, diamonds wouldn't be preferred. I'm a pearl, silver and costume piece sort of girl.

Learn the Love Languages

So what is left for him to do? The things that matter most to me. He knows my love languages. He and I learned them during our pre-marital counseling. And he has learned to speak them fluently. He takes out the trash for me. He helps change diapers for me. Let's me nap or sleep in when I'm having a hard day with my pain. Showers me with kisses and hugs me as often as he can, but more so when I am finding I don't have the strength to get through the day. He leads our family with God as his inspiration, doing daily devotions with the children and then with me. He encourages me whether I show signs of needing it or not. My list could go on.

Take the Time to Know

He knows that I don't take empty words. My previous marriage taught me that a guy will say anything to get what he wants and to break you down to dust afterwards. Love is not a feeling. So show me how you feel about me with your actions. I like gifts, but make them meaningful. Something I not only want, but things I truly have use for. I'm a minimalist at heart, so I don't like clutter. However, the flip side is that he won't give me a treadmill, no matter how often I talk about needing to lose weight. Or a vacuum, when ours breaks. Not as gifts. Show that you listen and understand, but don't throw something like that at me as your way of "love" gifts. He has more class than that. I know, women are fickle, right? So what gifts does he give? He took me on lunch dates, when we could afford it. He bought me the Purple Pillow to help with my neck and head pain. And I LOVE that pillow! It has brought me better sleep than before. He made sure I got padded floor mats for the kitchen since I loved to cook and bake, but couldn't stand on the concrete floors long enough to do it. So what does your significant other like?

Don't Judge Your Relationship by Social Media Standards

I used to be so jealous of my friends, thinking they had dream marriages with the perfect family dynamic. Today, I can tell you that no matter how fairy tale-ish their lives are through their social media posts, they have nothing on us!

My husband and I don't fight. No need to. Ever. We are both intelligent, logical-thinking beings. We talk through difficult decisions and pray. And we made a conscious choice before we got married about disagreements. You see, when we were in counseling, we were asked about conflict resolution. How would we handle an impasse? First, we talk. Boy, did I have to learn on that one... I like to bottle things up and say, "I'm fine" while inside I feel like dying. But now, I'm able to say anything and know that he can handle it. Then we pray. God leads our marriage. And we trust in Him to guide our paths. If we still are not completely in agreement, he makes the ultimate choice and I back him up. It doesn't happen often, but it is a decision that we made in counseling and I have held to it since. I don't always agree, but I stand by his decision and own it as my own. I respect him. More often than not, his choice turns out to be the best one. 

So what does Valentine's Day mean to you? 

Be completely honest with yourself when you try to answer this one. It means nothing to me. We don't need Valentine's Day. I still say it is more Single's Awareness Day. A chance for ooey-gooey fools to taunt those who have not. For single people to be pressured by the belief that everyone needs someone else. They will spend their billions, according to USA Today. But the stigma stays that most of it is done with the belief that they will get something out of it in return. So what good is Valentine's Day then? 

For a while, when I was growing up, my family didn't think of Christmas as a holiday to celebrate. It is over commercialized and has moved away from its original meaning. Instead, we celebrated Valentine's Day. Gave each other meaningful gifts then. It was the holiday associated with love after all. But now, we are celebrating Christmas. We have returned to the true meaning. As for Valentine's Day... For my husband and I, it is just another day. Another day to profess how much we love each other. To continue doing what we do best. Love one another as no one ever has before. Better than anyone would ever love us again. 

Don't use Valentine's Day as your catch up for the rest of the year. Not as an excuse to buy something or do something nice for your love. Live every day as though it is your last. Morbid, you say? Or is too harsh a reality for you? I've witnessed the loss of someone as young as 4 years old, a woman who just turned 21 and a young man in his 20's. All in excellent health and vitality. But within a moment, their life was gone. They hadn't planned on it. Life just happened. How much more so for you? 

So what do you do? 

Tell them you love them. Often. My husband and I say it so much more than once a day. And it never gets old for us. It's not just words. There are true feelings behind them. How do I know this? His actions back up his and my actions back up mine. 

Show them how much you love them. Love is an action. So put your actions forward. Do the things you know they wish you would. My husband loves when I hug him after a long nights work. Or when I have lunch ready when he wakes up in the afternoon. I appreciate it when he takes out the trash and changes the baby for me. Or how about when he washes the dishes for me after dinner? 

Learn their love language. My husband is big on Physical Touch. Most men are. And I'm not just referring to sex. It brings him joy when I reach out to hold his hand, when I pull him in for a close embrace or even when I take his arm as we walk together. It is simple, yet says so much. Acts of Service are on top for me. Don't tell me, show me. Nearly 8 years of being lied to in my first marriage taught me that words mean nothing when they are followed by abusive actions. 

Don't get upset at them when they don't do or say XYZ unless you first let them know it is expected. Do you know that one of the biggest issues in a relationship these days, is lack of communication? I'm talking true conversations here. With both parties actively listening. Nope. Most couples split up because they don't know how to truly listen. They don't know what is expected or why. Why? Because the other person doesn't know how to say it and just gets mad instead. 

And the most important part of loving someone? Don't do it and expect reciprocation. If you truly love someone, you will find yourself doing things to make the other person happy as that is what brings you happiness. Otherwise, you get cranky when you didn't get what you wanted in return. That isn't love. That's just an exchange. That is like the couple who buys something for the other to justify spending money on themselves. "I bought you a $100 camera, so I can buy myself a $500 toolbox." "I spent $60 on a video game for you, so that I can spend $150 at the salon." That isn't really love, sweetheart. And if you show this person that you are doing things to make them happy because it makes you happy to see their joy, chances are good they will reciprocate. Especially if they really love you back. Not saying this always happens. Not all relationships are two-sided, no matter how much you wish it were. And maybe this will bring that to light. 

I'm not holding back love to be given more on one day than the rest of the year. I'm keeping that fire roaring every single day, for as long as we both shall live. In every way I possibly can, I will show him that his happiness brings my own happiness. And I will revel in the love he shares with me. 

How Much Do You Like Valentine's Day?

Or as I like to call it, Singles Awareness Day! 

This year, my Mom was showing me the Valentine's Day boxes that her kiddos made. I was pretty impressed. There was a robot one from her youngest

                                                            and a plane from another.

I went on Pinterest with my kids to look at ideas. Especially since today was a snow day. We had some more snow and ice. Not enough to make a snowman or snowball fight, but enough to make it slippery.

My kids have basically had a 4 day weekend. And unless they are playing video games, they are getting bored of being indoors. 

So I showed them Valentine's Day box ideas. And asked what they thought. They were super excited. Mostly because they love doing crafts and are not intimidated by them like I am. I'm getting bolder with my creativity. Much like I used to be when I decorated a wooden doll house I built with my Dad. I created a board on Pinterest for the ideas we liked most. They each picked a theme for their boxes. My oldest wanted a Plants vs Zombies box, my other son wanted to make his look like an Xbox console and my daughter wanted Elsa's castle. 

We got started. I scrounged around and managed to find 3 boxes. While looking for paper to cover them, I actually found a shoe box. After I had already started using the tissue box and two small Amazon boxes... But it's all good. I will keep that shoe box for another project later. 

We covered my oldest sons box with green construction paper, the middle had black construction paper and the castle was done in blue construction paper with blue card stock paper for parts of it. My husband was a huge help in getting the details just right. After my middle boy had the bright idea to trace a real Xbox controller (I'm so proud that he thought of it himself!), my husband worked with him to create the details and make it look like an actual controller. 

For the princess castle, I had beads and ribbon to add little decorations. She wanted a snowy look, so I used pearls to look like delicate snow falling. We printed a tiny Elsa picture to put in the doorway too. We used toilet paper rolls to make the towers on the corners.

I'm not a Plants vs Zombies fan, so I had to follow my sons lead and have him tell me what he wanted. I also found one that had been made on Pinterest and loosely followed the design on the box we made. We printed out characters since he didn't have toy versions. 

Overall, I'd say I'm pretty impressed. These look fantastic! And my kids are going to be the cats pajamas when they bring them to class to collect their Valentine's. What about you? Are you and your kids making anything like this? This could even be good for on the office desk... After all, who says employees can't give Valentine's? Share your ideas in the comments below!

Finding that perfect guy



Falling for the Casanovas of today is a dangerous game. So many guys are only out there looking to add another notch on their belt. So if you are tired of having your heart broken or leaving a relationship feeling broken and used… maybe it’s time you tried a new approach.

Find a guy, and I know they are rare (but they do exist!), who holds fast to chivalry. What is chivalry?

What is Chivalry? The definition is as follows:

chiv·al·ry

o    The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

o    Courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women.

 

synonyms:	gallantry, gentlemanliness, courtesy, politeness, graciousness, good manners
antonyms:	rudeness

Why? He will treat you like his queen. He’s the type of guy that will be there for you when you need him most. Sometimes without you even telling him that something is wrong. He takes the time to get to know you enough that he can tell when something is wrong with you. He’s that guy who speaks with words that seem old fashioned. And no, I don’t mean that he will use some fake but fancy accent when he talks. He is sincere. His compliments are rich. They are well thought out. And every bit of them is tailored to you. He does things that he knows you need done without asking, telling or making a big deal of. Know what I love? Having him make my bed, tighten that loose door handle, or wash the left over dishes when I’m not around. I don’t say anything. I don’t have to. He knows what I need done and he does these and more for me. And he doesn’t say anything about it. No, “Hey, by the way, I did such and such for you.” He doesn’t seek praise for these little things. He leaves them like sweet surprises for me to find later. That’s what a truly good guy who understands chivalry will be like. That’s what you should be looking for.

Don’t go for that guy who looks amazing but talks like an airhead. Give him 10-20 years depending on his lifestyle and you will have a sagging loser that you can’t believe you had a crush on way back when. And watch out for the sweet talkers who can’t back up their words. Words are only words until they are backed by actions that demonstrate them. Love is an action. The word itself is a verb, not just a noun. It’s what you do to show how you feel that makes it true.

Not the words that give you goosebumps. Or those that make you all giggly. Look for the one with words that warm your heart. That makes you feel proud of yourself. Building you up without being empty, fluffy statements. So the guy who says, “You’re hot!” versus that guy who says, “You’re beautiful.” is how you can tell who is more sincere. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I want to be told I’m hot, but only in the right moment. Tell me I’m beautiful and I’m more likely to listen to you. When you are told you are beautiful, chances are stronger that he sees the beauty shining from within. Hot is what he calls you when he wants to get laid.

I asked a modern “knight” what chivalry meant to him. His response was as follows:

“It opens the door for a much deeper relationship. It also allows one’s mind to be open to new possibilities. To act chivalrous, one has to think in a different manner. Meaning that it takes the mind to new areas of itself that aren’t usually stimulated during adolescence. This effect is amplified when this individual is also learning so much more about the woman he’s interacting with. It allows him to learn and grow in new ways.”

This, ladies. This is what men of today are missing. This is what women should be looking for. This is where you will find the lasting, lifetime of true love with your best friend.
This Valentine's Day, I spent with my gentleman. He and my mother bought me Star Wars themed gifts for my new kitchen.

(They know me so well!) He made me dinner, helped with the laundry, and had flowers (Don't buy ProFlowers) delivered.

He also had Shari's Berries deliver chocolate covered strawberries.

Talk about delicious....

Also, for those who love historical tidbits... Click here to get the scoop on how Valentine's Day got started! Kinda a dark event...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Whether you have a special someone in your life or not, don't be afraid to enjoy today. You shouldn't need someone to make you feel amazing about yourself. Take it from someone who has been married 7 years and has had more heartache than love. Being with someone is never better than being alone, if you are unhappy. 

So if you have the love of your life, enjoy every moment and treasure today. 

If you're single, get dressed up and spoil yourself today. I know I am! 

These are my Valentine's! And I got dressed up to go to Target 😆. AFTER cleaning the garage and doing laundry... And cleaning up the toys... You get the point. Happy Valentine's Day!