How 2020 Has Changed Our Traditions

2020 - what a year! Such a year, that memes were made and it has become a household name to describe any bad event for the future. We are already making the, "that's so 2020" jokes in our house. Are you? But here we are moving through 2021. Most of us are hoping for a better year. Some of us may actually be believing that it can't possibly be worse. Me? I'm positive in my belief that it could be worse, but I'm hoping for at least some things to get better. I'd have to say I would be happy if I never had to wear the mask again. Social distancing doesn't bother me so much anymore. I guess I'm used to people not hanging out. Introvert! But suffocating in the mask, with my fear of having both nose and mouth covered at the same time... well, let's say I have had to focus hard on breathing more than once. If they go away, I can accept the rest of the changes as permanent features in our 'normal' society moving forward. 

 

My husband and I have started structuring traditions we want to continue no matter how the world changes around us. 2020 showed us how intense the revisions to normal traditions could be. I can't remember another year where extended family wasn't together for Christmas! How about birthdays? Thanksgiving? And Easter? When did we last have those without everyone getting together? But with this being the reality we faced, we saw things we wanted to keep going. Especially in case our next move does take us out of reach of family. I'd like to share some of our ideas with you and see what you are doing. 

We can start with Christmas, as it is the biggest for me. 

Christmas fun starts the day after Thanksgiving for our family. That is when we are allowed to pull out the Christmas decorations and begin the cheer! That is when I'll get out the card hanger to show off the cards we get and remember the love we have from others. 

Christmas Eve in 2020 was spent having desserts and warm beverages with some of the in laws. A chance to wish each other a nice Christmas. I'm not sure how we want to handle it in the future. I do know, however, that we have decided to put the children's Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers out on Christmas Eve going forward. Not before. Not because they can't handle them being out without touching them. I'm a no-nonsense Mama who doesn't mind taking away presents when they can't leave them alone. So they know better. No. We decided we don't want to hear anything like this anymore - "Look how big your box is!" "My stocking has more than anyone else's in it!" "Did you get more gifts than I did?" Nope. Not having that next year. Doesn't matter how often I remind them that it isn't size or quantity that matters. Doesn't matter that I have told them they should be grateful they are getting anything at all. They still can't stop the comparing. So the gifts are going to stay hidden until the night before. 

Christmas day is going to start with eggnog and a baked breakfast item (strawberries and cream cinnamon rolls or a coffee cake). We will gather as a family in front the tree and open gifts together. My husband and I haven't laid out many plans past this point. But we have started deciding which foods need to be a Christmas staple. His mother and grandmother usually make date balls. That is a recipe I'm going to learn to make to complete this holiday!

Bringing in the New Year

New Years Eve is one day of the year that my husband has never worked. And never plans to. We stay up together to bring in the New Year.  We haven't held to anything beyond that. One year we spent it drinking with the in laws. And that signaled the time we decided that getting drunk was no longer something we wanted in our future. Then we spent the following one drinking a single Smirnoff and enjoying video games together. The children couldn't handle staying up long enough. This year, we went with sparkling juice. We don't care for the New York countdown and Ball Drop. I never understood it. I also don't get the Texan tradition of eating black eyed peas (NOT a bean I like). So having a beverage of our choice and playing video games with each other, and whichever of the kids that can manage to stay awake with us, is how we plan to bring in each New Year. We also like to reflect on the good things from the previous year, and dreams for the new year.

Valentine's Day (Or Singles Awareness Day)

This holiday doesn't hold a special place in my heart. High expectations that are met with higher disappointment has been my view. Personally, I see it as another reason to get my husband a gift and hopefully have him home from work. I'm trying to find new traditions to turn this around for us. Since we have kids, I'm looking for a family idea. Have any? Leave it in the comments for me!

Easter

When we first moved to be nearer to my in laws, this was a family gathering. Food, Bible reading and an egg hunt for the kiddos. After 2020, I think I prefer the scavenger hunt idea. I hide things and clues and they have to go search. In addition, we don't have to worry about how much candy they are getting. I can hide things they really want. Yugioh cards, Bakugan toys, Barbie accessories, glow sticks - or other useful things for their entertainment. If family gatherings are still a no-go this year, this will be my plan!

Mother's Day

My husband makes sure the kids sign the card. Sometimes they even help him pick one! They are still a bit young or not quite reliable in the kitchen, so it may be too much to hope that Mom can take the whole day off. But my husband does try. And when he cooks dinner, I'm always impressed and completely happy!

Father's Day

I have the children make his card with me. I can't drive to the store without him, so surprising him is very difficult. My favorite thing to do is get him something. I only have so many times in the year that I can give him a reason for allowing me to buy him a gift. Otherwise he tries his best to refuse gifts. 

Independence Day

Since my Uncle Bob died of lung cancer, I haven't liked this holiday. It just isn't the same. And when we moved to Waco, well, even more reason to hate the holiday as we can't use fireworks. Nothing more than sparklers and firecrackers. We don't even have a grill to cookout on. So why bother? But my husband has promised that one day we will live in a place where we can get fireworks and a grill, and put on a show of our own for the kids. Until then, I'm meh about this one. What do you do for it?

Halloween

We have done a couple things for past Halloweens. 2019 saw us trick-or-treating with my Mother-in-law in her neighborhood. My joy for this holiday comes only in the fact that I'm allowed to dress up in my cosplay and it is completely normal. I'm at the point that if 2020 is any indication of how the rest of the years are going to be, then I'm going to need another time to dress up. I LOVE cosplay. And I missed wearing it so much this year.... Aside from that, we are thinking that a scavenger hunt in the dark is in order again. The kids loved it! They ran around with glow sticks searching for the hidden candies and trading cards. Even the toddler was included. Their Dad and I just stood back laughing and watching. It was great fun for all of us!

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving is one holiday I love. It isn't complete without a pecan pie, for sure! And it also marks the time when I think it is acceptable to start drinking eggnog. I love eggnog! However, I don't like too much of it. So, usually, I have one carton on hand around Thanksgiving and another for Christmas morning. Any more than that is just too much for us. My husbands family serves watergate salad, pineapple stuffing and a delicious broccoli and bacon salad that I will have to learn to make, starting in 2021! We have decided that our Thanksgiving turkey won't be enough without those three options. Oh and yeast rolls with my cinnamon honey butter!

So there you are. 2020 has rearranged how we are treating some of the holidays. Who knows what 2021 will bring? But if getting together with the family is out for good, or if public events stay canceled, what are traditions that you are willing to adopt permanently? I'd love to hear about them!

Being Thankful for 2020

Many of you probably clicked on this post simply out of curiosity. After all, this year has been horrendous. I, out of all people, should know. And yet, I can't help but be thankful. No, not because Thanksgiving is here and I am required to be. Not even just because I'm a Christian, though that is a great enough reason. But rather, because for all the bad it has brought, I'm finding the silver linings. I think each of should look back and see those slivers of good. They are tiny rays of hope in the darkness. 

Feeling my way in the dark

More than once this year, I have felt alone. I had that feeling of being in a room filled with people, but having no voice. Being invisible. All the while, talking and sharing in whatever was going on with those around me. It wasn't always like that though. 

Before the pandemic forced us all into our own corners to cower, another event happened. Something that changed me. In a big way. I used to be comfortable speaking about any topic with any person. After this one event, however, that changed. Now, I'm cautious. Now I have moments of walking on eggshells. Sure, I slip up. But I have gotten back to being the one that tries to listen more and speak less. Unless I am around someone I really trust and who can handle me as I am, I try to keep my opinions, or voice, to myself. As the world has continued to changed, I have seen how so many people have an opinion, but are so against allowing others to have their opinions. When did we become people who thought our ways of thinking were the only way to think? When did we start laughing at others, just because they see things differently? I might not be able to speak my mind. I might not be able to share my life with most of the people I know, even family. But I can listen. And try to support those I cross paths with. I won't be another voice adding to the din. Instead, I'm working to be a voice of encouragement.

Beauty in the pain

I'm no stranger to pain. I've dealt with it for years. And I will deal with it until I die. 2020 has just been a year that took it to a whole new level. I've had 2 surgeries dealing with my faulty gallbladder (that was finally removed). Then there were the 3 wisdom teeth that led to dry socket - how can 1 tooth's' absence hurt SO much?! An ovarian cyst formed - I thought for sure my appendix was killing me. And of course there is the worsening of my spinal issues. 

 

But there is something beautiful about all this. No, I don't wear rose colored glasses and see the cup forever half full. I'm very much a realist. I just look for good in the bad things so that I don't slump into a mental abyss of darkness. Years of practice, people. The beauty I see, is that I'm learning to handle more of it. Little by little, I'm thankful for these moments of pain. They are helping me become more empathetic to others. Less of an intolerant grouch when it flares. 

This year, I have made a wonderful friend in pain. A young woman, like me, who shares in the daily grind of suffering. Different cause, but the similar trials of getting through the day. I can be completely honest. I can tell her when I'm struggling. I can open up and voice my frustrations. As she can too. And we completely understand each other. I'm thankful for this. Before this year, the only person I knew that understood me like that was my Nana. When I talk to her, I don't have to say, "I'm fine." Because we both know, I'm not. As a matter of fact, we laugh about people asking stupid questions. "How are you doing today?"  Here is a hint, folks. Stop asking, "How are you?" If what we have is chronic, skip the part that we have to fake a smile for. Or if you can't skip the small talk, and we answer with, "I'm good/fine/okay", PLEASE, do NOT respond with, "I'm so glad you are getting better!" News flash - I AM NEVER GETTING BETTER! What I have, is for life. And that is okay! I have good days. Where I can literally roll out of bed and get on with the day. For me, personally speaking, that means my pain is what I rate as a level 6 or under. If I show up to be around others, my levels have to be somewhere in that ballpark - often with the use of pills. A moderate day is a level 7, and I will struggle to stand while cooking dinner. Anything above a level 8, means I will be stationary for the majority of the day. I'd rather go thirsty than walk to the kitchen for water. This is what life is like for those like me. We find others like us who understand, truly understand, and we feel strengthened. It isn't pity. It isn't sympathy. It is genuine understanding. And it is beautiful. I'm not alone. 

Seeing truth amid the lies

This last one is harder for me. I grew up in a close, but large family. I was surrounded by people. And while I'm more of an introvert at heart, I have extrovert tendencies when I get comfortable around people. One characteristic of mine, is to be loyal. I call it a blessing and curse. A blessing in that I will remain loyal to, and be there for, anyone I form a close relationship with. A curse in that I have a knack for being hurt the hardest by those I am most loyal to. This year, I took a heavy hit. I still have a relationship with certain people, but I can never trust them to be completely open and honest. Nor can I feel comfortable in being myself around them. I know their personality, their habits and the damage they are capable of causing without even knowing they are doing it. They smile and chat and act like everything is just fine. That nothing has changed. Under the surface, however, they would have to be fools to believe that is the case. 

So this year has taught me another lesson I'm grateful for. Be loving and interactive, but keep enough distance to stay safe. I don't want to alienate myself and my family, but I will be cautious of what others say and do. Relationships always come with the risk of being burned. But choosing to abstain completely from them, causes a great deal of loneliness. It can be a difficult choice to make. I have chosen to toughen up as well as clam up. I can't shut the door completely, but that doesn't mean I have to give them fuel for their fires against me. And if they say something that hurts, I need to let it roll off my back. 

I have 2 pillars for strength

I think of the Bible story of Samson, standing between two pillars. Well, there are 2 that hold me up. Physically and emotionally speaking, my husband has been my stronghold. I couldn't get through all this without him. And I couldn't be more thankful for him. My second chance at a happy life came with him. And I will never be the same. 

More importantly, however, and spiritually speaking, I have God. And even if everything else was taken from me, He is all I need to get through every heartbreak, every trial, every disappointment and all the pain this life throws my way.  I wake up with prayers for strength to endure the day. I fall asleep praying for peace, safety, and grace for those in my life. And I thank God for the trials. That little by little, He is molding me and making me into something new. Something better. Something closer to Him.

These things are that I am thankful for. No matter how bad things might get, I'm going to look for the good it serves. There is always a silver lining. And a purpose to what is happening. What is one bad thing that happened to you that you found the good of?