We all have to accept certain changes. Life throws us curve balls, after all. And we get slammed in the face by them more often than we like to admit. Sometimes they knock us down. It is up to us whether we stand back up and try again, or whether we just stay down. There are so many times when I think that I should just get comfy and stay down. That I just don't have the strength to keep pushing forward. That has been when I turned to God in prayer. You aren't religious? Great! Neither am I. I'm just a follower of Christ. I have and read my Bible. I pray. I believe. That doesn't mean that I always feel happy. I don't always feel satisfied with my life. I'm learning that I have some things to accept even though I don't want to.
I've been told I need to repent for
my sins. Like when Job's friends called him wicked and said that
obviously he was sinning, so repent and all would be well again. (Bible reference - Book of Job) He was righteous before God, yet his children were all killed, his servants slaughtered, and livestock taken. His wife even tells him to curse God and die. Job 2:9 (No wonder Satan didn't kill her too.) At first I believed all this hardship was because of something I had done wrong. A punishment. Not anymore.
Some days, however, I just want to fold. I tell my husband often, "Just shoot me. It'd be a mercy." His answer, "No. You can't leave me." We do it jokingly. But I would be lying if I didn't desire death sometimes. I'd be fibbing if I didn't think that I would rather lose my legs than keep fighting this pain. But then I know that wouldn't help me in the long run. I have people depending on me. Broken or not. I'm not going anywhere and not giving up the fight. Not today at least.
Get a piece of paper. Or three, depending on how you write your list.
Your first thing to write is who would be affected physically if you were gone. How do I mean? If you died today, who would be affected? Coworkers? Spouse? Kids?
Second list is of anyone that would miss you financially. Who do you support? Kids, spouse? Could they make it without you?
Third list is of who relies on you emotionally. Friends, family. Who comes to you for advice? Who spends time with you when they just can't take the stress of their lives at that moment?
Why do I suggest this? I believe that everyone in the world has at least one person out there that would miss them in some way if they were suddenly gone. More often than not, we don't realize just how much of an impact we make on others. We tell ourselves that no one would care. That's selfishness and self pity talking. It's baloney. Make your lists. Put them where you can find them. The next time life strikes, pull them out. Remind yourself why you fight. Why you can't give up. You can take the easy path. Give up. And you might feel good about yourself. But who will you hurt by doing so? I'm going to hold fast to my God. And being there for those I love.
My kids are big enough and I have no job so for the 1st 2 I'm good to go. As for the last I have 7 to 8 kids who talk to me about everything. We have a running joke that I will be on my death bed and they will call me to forbid me to die cause they dont know how to cook a poptart. I dont think of dying cause life isnt good or it's hard. I have lived many years and know its tuff but liveable. 1 day we will all ( Lord willing) be unable to do what we had at 1 point in our lives. You just do what you can when you can. Make as many memories as you can. Your friend has a good point. With that much pain and little sleep the kids need to be in school right now. Remember this world hated Jesus and it will hate you if you follow him. Do the best you can. He didn't promise us good health or long easy life. You just need to be strong and he will do the work of getting you through
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