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Thursday, March 1, 2018

Words that a Mother Dreads Hearing

The first day of March has arrived. Can you believe we are already in the third month of 2018?! How did time pass by so quickly? What have you done so far this year? Keeping up with your resolutions? I know I haven't. I've been a bit on the lazy side as far as working out goes... 

I have been keeping pretty busy. Preparing Mother's Day gifts, contacting lawyers, taxes, dealing with problems at my kids' school... You know how those things run around this time of year, right? 
My Mom sent me a couple packages recently. One was full of cosplay things for my Mother's Day gifts from her and the family.
The other, was full of things for the kids and I. Now, with the Mother's Day gifts, my kids had a fun time painting for one of them.
We have discovered that at least one of them would happily paint every day if she could. The boys also enjoy it when they are not too busy gaming or playing with friends. Which is why I was very glad to have received that second package from my Mom. She sent all kinds of fun things. Shoes for the kids, a Star Wars box, some books and especially the canvases and paint supplies.
My daughter couldn't wait to jump on those. After she came home from school, she began painting a picture that she took to her teacher the next day.  
I was clearing off the table when I saw a couple of cards she also painted. One for her aunt and another for her Nona. Inside the one for her Nona, she had written that she wished her Nona was her Mom. A mix of emotions came in response to this. I was proud of her writing. Though the words were not spelled correctly, you can obviously tell that she sounded them out and you could see exactly what she was writing. On the other hand, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of hurt. After all, I do the best I can. I may not be all fun all the time. Maybe I don't cook only her favorite foods. I don't have a house and big yard to roam around in. But would that really be why she would rather have someone else for her Mom? I did not ask her right away about it. Couldn't bring myself to do so. My husband took offense to it when I mentioned it to him. Not because of who she would rather have as her mother, but because of how it reflected on me. I finally brought it up and tried to understand her reasoning behind saying something like that. She only replied that it was because Nona was more fun. 

Her brothers took offense to this. They asked if she thought I was not a good enough mom for her. Which she said no to quite adamantly. I hold to the hope that I am still the Mom she loves as she has told me she does. I'm also thankful the words were not "I hate you". From what I have heard from my husbands family, they have at least a couple generations that have used those words to a parent. My Mother will correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe I ever said such to her or my Dad. I know I was, at times, snippity. Especially when I was on my monthly cycle. Enough so that my Mom would tell me to go to my room. But my little girl is only 5. So I know she is no where near that time in her life. 

It is a hard thing to accept. Or perhaps I am not supposed to. I do know that I will still be the best I can be. For her. For her brothers. For her sister. They may not always like me. They may not agree with a decision I make. But all I do, I will do for them. After all. This is what a Mom does, right? This is how we show our love and devotion to giving them the best life possible. No matter what they say and do. Our love is for always.

6 comments:

  1. Mothering isn't an easy job. I as a mom has had to tuffin up. Your kids love you. Don't think to hard on this.

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  2. Gee, cut my heart out. You know how I feel. My heart aches. Lene

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    1. I do. But I also know you have other kids that love you dearly.

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  3. I just thought of something. Out of my 10 kids I have heard somethings. Sometimes they aren't funny at the time but now we laugh about them. And 1 day you will through it in her face and you all will laugh. I got a "mother's day" letter 1 year from a daughter that started out "Mom I would tell you your the best mom in the world but I haven't met every mom out there. But your still pretty good". I remember you got offended by this but I laughed. (I still do). See I know my children love me. They do. We all have a good relationship. And as you can remember, I had some tuff years with David and now I have another boy trying the same thing. I have learned that each is different and as a mom I give you all some space to be YOU. When I spent time with Nana I learned a lot. I am not getting any younger so don't spend time dwelling on little things. Now when Ana is a teenager and wants to move in with a relative, it means your doing a good job. So as a 5 year old, she is telling her G-ma she loves her. Doesn't mean she don't love you. She does.

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    1. That was pretty funny, now that I think back to it.

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