So I have another week to wait. I'm telling myself that it is building my strength and patience. My pains and the dizzy feelings are a daily annoyance. Especially as they strike randomly and very often when I'm sitting. It has made things difficult. My husband now does the all the driving. I have come to the decision that unless absolutely necessary, I will not risk being behind the wheel any more. I won't put myself, my family or anyone else in danger.
Another decision I have made is that I will work out every day. Pain or no pain. I am currently 40 pounds over my proper weight (I've gained 10 pounds since January). I have devised a schedule that enables me to have morning devotions while feeding the baby. This is followed by cleaning up the baby and kitchen area. Once she is settled, I do my workout. I don't have the strength to do my husbands P90X or 10 minute intense workout sessions. So I'm keeping to my own pace. Don't get me wrong, I still break a sweat. I still get my heart rate up. And that is what matters in the end. Also, don't think I am giving place to vanity. Sure, I have a flabby stomach. But I have been pregnant 4 times. I have a Mom bod. Anyone who can't handle it can take a hike. On the other hand, I also have a weakened spine that is crumbling. Which means that I can't be carrying all these extra pounds. And I'm secretly hoping that this will build strength as I go. On top of my daily workout in the morning, I have decided to add in other things. I do squats while brushing my teeth. Maybe 25 jumping jacks before bed. Little workouts like these spread out, can have a huge impact. And make me feel a little better about myself.
If you are struggling with something this far into the new year, might I suggest that you take it one day at a time? We don't change as quickly as we want. Things don't always happen the way we want them to. And sometimes a hard choice has to be made. But if you take one step after another, one day after the other and get through it like clockwork - it gets so much easier to see a big picture. Here is to the hope that one day I will be able to return to my normal way of being. Until then, I will do what I can to protect those I care about as well as those I have never met.