Wednesday, January 3, 2018

What a way to start the New Year...

Three days into the new year. A year that I was worried about before today's incident. I am already feeling dread towards the rest of what is to come.
I woke up early this morning with the baby. Before anyone else. After a diaper change and milk cup, she passed out again. I felt the tense pain even then, but at a manageable level. It had has been slowly building for the past couple days. So I didn't think much of it. I laid back down with the baby and my husband. Had to roll onto my side for a bit. Breathing was a bit more painful than it usually is. About an hour or so later, baby girl was ready to get up. I tried to roll over and lift myself up. A sudden, searing pain shot through me. My entire upper right side tensed to the point that I was gasping for breath and unable to move my muscles. I have a high tolerance for pain, but this brought me to tears and had my husband so worried that he threw on clothes and we rushed to the clinic. A clinic that was quite full already. We were there for at least 2 1/2 hours. 

In that time, my muscles slowly stopped with the spasms and release some of the tension. My right arm and hand had become slightly swollen and tingled in the fingertips. I could not look down without pain. I could not lean my head back without it hurting. I couldn't turn my head very much to either side. When I tried to remove my jacket, the spasm came back. I felt like such a hot mess. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't had the chance to brush my teeth, shower, brush my hair or even throw on a bra! So I'm sure I looked as much a mess as I felt... I just wanted it to stop. I pushed at my chest, wanting to pull out the muscles that were causing this pain. And it didn't help that the kids were all ready for lunch. They were sympathetic to understanding that I was hurting, but feeling cabin feverish from being stuck inside and in chairs when the day was finally nice enough to be outside! This was not the way any of us wanted to be spending our day. 
Finally, we saw the doctor. While I had peace of mind that it wasn't going to kill me, I still don't have a solid understanding of what caused it or how to keep it from happening again. The doctor said it most likely has to do with my back problems which are quite extensive. And made it clear that finding a doctor to treat  that would be best. He offered a pain injection and muscle relaxers. As I sit here, the pain is manageable. Not much less than it was when I was sitting across from him. The swelling is gone. I forced myself to move through each painful motion to get circulation flowing better. And then we come to the tension. I took my "little blue pill" of a muscle relaxer he prescribed. Still feeling pretty tight back there. I made the joke that little blue pills were supposed to be for my husband when he gets older. This way, he will be taking those to get firm. I am taking them to loosen up. 
I'm back at square one. In pain and unsure what to do about it. I've reached out to a pain specialist in San Antonio. Tomorrow morning they should be calling me to talk about what options they have for someone like me. No income, cash upfront and no insurance. Let's pray that they are merciful, but have hope to offer. 
And that I will finally move forward in treating the real issues in my spine.

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