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Friday, October 20, 2017

Can We Finally Close This Chapter?

I've been writing multiple posts about the bully situation my kids are facing at school and on the bus. I have to say, part of me is hopeful... part of me is still simmering. 

So what happened today?
I waited until 9AM this morning for a phone call from the school. The night before, I had decided that by 9, I'd be heading to the school to have an in-person chat with the vice principal. I was done. DONE! I wanted results. I wanted answers. While heading over there, the vice principal actually called me. I told her I was headed her way and would talk to her soon. Must have been a shocker. I can imagine the "Oh no" moment she must have had. But this needed to be settled. So I went in. And the talk we had, while friendly and professional, was most definitely laced with your classic customer service rhetoric. I should know. I worked retail for too many years. 

Basically, I learned that the lead bully, the little girl I mentioned before, was still pouncing on my children on the school grounds. She was being "sneaky" about it according the vice principal. And even this morning, she had been called to the office for her misconduct. Suffice it to say, she is a known deviant that they have had to deal with quite a bit. So it was no surprise that the information I laid out led the vice principal to admit that she too thought the little girl was a ring leader for the bully team. She was instigating the problem. 
In addition, while the buses have cameras on them, they are not all strategically placed. Some are on the front, some are in the backs above the doors, and some are in the middle and often obscured. What good does it do anyone if the cameras are not in a prime position?! Likewise, the vice principal does not have immediate access to the footage they record. Why it is her job, but she can't get the footage without going through a process, leaves me baffled. She has to contact the technology department of the transportation department to review and pull necessary footage and they have to then send her a copy of it. This is antiquated technology! It defeats the purpose of a speedy matter. While waiting for that, she has to make decisions that are required immediately. Its a sad thought. These kids are not all from the same class, same grade, same neighborhood. My son didn't even know his attackers name until I got on the bus after school yesterday and threatened every one of those kids to leave my kids alone! Yes, I told the vice principal that I did that. You know what response I got? A "Good for you!" *insert shocked look here* Wait, you are glad I got on that bus, confronted all those kids, and scared the pants off the boy who hurt my son?! Yes, yes she was. Why? According to her, those kids turn into animals when they get on the bus going home.And there is no one to stop them. 

So what came to be the conclusions of our discussions? Well, for starters, the little girl will now be restricted to the seat directly behind the bus driver. She will be forbidden to threaten, touch or otherwise have ill-conceived dealings with any other student, but especially my own. Her parents were to receive a phone call and a warning. If anything else happens involving her, she will be expelled for a time from using the bus at all. The boy who attacked my son, would be given a stern talking to and a warning since this was his first offense. His parents would also receive a phone call of his actions and the disciplinary actions taken. 

Hopefully that will clear up the bullying problems and all the kids can now rest a little easier when they board that bus to come home. I, however, still have a job to do. According the vice principal, she has been pushing the superintendents office to have an adult stationed on the buses to monitor and control the kids. The morning ride, they are docile creatures as they have not fully awakened or for most, even eaten yet. So that is typically not when an extra adult would be needed. But that ride home... that is when they are excited. They are awake. They go crazy. After all, they have been given freedom! They are going home. Time to play and be loose, right? Wrong. They are still under school supervision. There are no restraints. No seat belts. So what are they doing, besides picking on each other? How about jumping across the seats? How about throwing things? How about running up and down the aisle? And you cannot expect the bus driver to control them. They need to be focused on the street they are traversing. I'd rather they don't take their eyes from in front of them. Especially when we have drivers like this one in our own city! 
So why don't we have that extra adult supervising their trip home? The funding was cut. And until parents band together and demand it be reinstated, they see no need for it. Not until someone is seriously injured and sues the school... Which will happen eventually if those kids aren't controlled. 

So my task this weekend is to put together a petition. I plan to pass it around. To rally parents to this cause. We need safety that can only be afforded by someone keeping a watchful eye. Someone to keep dangerous acts from taking place. I understand that schools are strapped. But I can think of some things they don't need that could go to make money for what is truly needed. Especially for a school that has a serious bully issue running rampant. 

My plea to all of you parents out there is this, don't sit idly by. Know what is happening. I'm not saying you have to attend all the events or be a part of the PTA. I won't even go that far. But truly take the time to talk to and listen to your child. Know what they are facing. And make sure they are not afraid to speak out against the one who might be harming them. I will never forget the fear that the little boy had in his eyes when he tried to tell me he was fine after being in a choke-hold. Fear of the bully or fear of speaking up and not knowing what would happen. We tell our kids not to be tattle-tales, but do they know the difference between speaking up and tattling? We need to make sure they know.

22 comments:

  1. Good job. All parents should care more about their children. Truth is we have become a lazy society who wants others to raise our children for us and we want to think more about ourselves/our happiness. No more are the days where people will lay down their lives for others in our country. But as parents we chose just that when we decided to have and keep our children. I think you are handling this well. Good for you.

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    1. I hope that more parents wake up to the truth and have a change in heart.

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  2. I hear many terrible stories of bullying in the schools. something needs to be done,. Thank you for standing up to these kids

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    1. I agree. And I hope more parents will stand up as well!

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  3. Such good writing. I love reading your entries.

    Sondra xx
    prettyfitfoodie.com

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  4. Oh my goodness, this is terrible!! I would be livid to learn something like this was going on, much less continuing. Something definitely has to be done. xo

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    1. Hopefully, my actions are getting the ball rolling to stop it!

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  5. Ehh bullying is such an international problem :( Here in Poland where I live we hear every day about some bad stuff that kids are doing to their colleagues just because they look or behave in a different way :( This is really sad and I hope that parents will start to react !!!

    Best,
    Kasia

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    1. I'm very sorry to hear that! I think it starts at home. And hope that parents stand up more.

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  6. Not a parent, but can totally relate that bullying happens way too much these days.

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    1. I think we all can. Even adults get bullied at work or in college.

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  7. I'm so glad to see you doing something about this! Get it done mama!

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  8. Goodness, bullying really infuriates me. I like the way you handled it and hopefully parents do something about it.

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  9. I feel sad for these bully kids. I wonder how are they inside their home. I always believe all thing comes and start from home, maybe this kid is looking for attention or something.
    Or maybe it lost fear and respect to others which they acquired from home.

    But seriously, if my kid will be hit my that bull, i will teach my kid self defence. Im kinda cheeky but most if the time, that approach works better.

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    1. I agree that bullies start from home. They aren't getting the love and attention they need, much less discipline. I'm teaching my kids though. And hopefully others will too.

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  10. Bullying is extremely difficult. I went through it when I was young, and to be honest, I think that it still impacts me today. My self-confidence has never been the same. But, I do believe that things will get better, and that your kids will be stronger for it. As horrible as it is, bullying teaches you alot about reality, and has helped me develop methods for standing up for myself that I still use today.

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    1. I hear you. I was bullied in school. And the things it taught me have stuck true still.

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  11. It's scary to think how much this happens. I'm so happy that you're doing everything you can to put a stop to it and really make a change!

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