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Thursday, October 6, 2016
The Revised Version of The Declaration of Independence
"We, The People of the United States"
We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self evident - that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NON-Rights as such:
Article I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
Article II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
Article III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
Article IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found andwill gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing tired