Ridiculous Ramblings in Retail: Part 5 I'll Have Your jobs!

Retail gives you more than experience in work. It gives you extra patience, a better outlook on your own intelligence level, and humorous stories to relive over and over. I've been witness to all sorts of things. I've seen a child burst into tears and tell his mother that she was "breaking" his heart because she wouldn't get the candy he wanted. I've had little girls want high fives on their way out.
Sometimes though, you come across people who are out to ruin the night with their bad attitudes. We have some of those that are regulars. Known for making trouble and being verbally abusive. Like the one that stopped by last night. First time I've ever encountered her.
She came and loaded a cart with various items she wanted. Most of which were clearance. Then she remembered that she left her payment method at home. To the Guest Service desk she goes. "I want to leave this here while I run home to get my card. I'll be right back!" This was about 8 PM or a little before.
What's wrong with this scene? First, we don't hold clearance for anyone. Against Target policy don't you know! But we were trying to provide excellent customer service and doing her a favor. She did say she'd be right back... right? Secondly, 9/10 people who say "hold this for me" won't come back at all. Do you know how much food we throw out? How much merchandise we have to rush to put back out on the floor before closing time? All because someone didn't bring their money. Well, guess what happens next.
9:45 rolls around and that cart is still there. We have 15 minutes to get everything set up for closing and hope we get out on time. So I made the choice to reshop everything. I figured she was just like the other 9/10 people that says they will be back but never do. Clothing was picked up by the team members in that department immediately. Everything else went into the carts. 9:55 comes up and we are feeling great because closing time is almost here and we have everything ready so we can walk out as soon as we verify no one is in the store. But here walks in Trouble... Yep. She came back in. 5 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING!
"Where is my cart?!"
"Well, ma'am, we returned everything to their rightful areas."
"WHY?"
"We are preparing for closing and you hadn't returned to the store."
"I said I was coming back, didn't I? Don't assume I'm like the 98% who say they will, but never do. That's wrong of you."
Then comes a long rant about wanting to call our store manager and how the security guard (me) will be escorting out this employee come tomorrow with a "Have a nice day and you're fired." She claims to have worked for a Target store before and knows company policy. She says we shouldn't have re-shopped everything until right at closing as that's the rules. There's a lot of things I wanted to say... But I was trying too hard not to laugh to open my mouth. And then she brought back a return to top it off! 5 minutes before closing?! What store did you work for, honey? Because I can tell you that 5 minutes before closing, all but 1 register is closed, all the reshop is put away and we are clearing the building of guests. We plan to go home ON TIME! We don't want to hear about your store. We don't care who you worked for or what region you came from. We are on a mission and nothing you say or do is going to change that. If anything, its going to make our resolve stronger. So zip it and move along.
I have to commend the incredible poise and dignity displayed by my coworker who was dealing with this piece of work. He didn't raise his voice, referred to her as Miss, kept a polite tone, and provided the best Vibe possible as if there weren't any issues at all. Then when her words didn't rattle him as she wanted, she turned to the rest of us and apologized for us having to work with "such a guy". My answer? "I LOVE working with him! He's a really great guy." Another coworker chimes in, "He's a great guy to work with." Another, "Oh, I like working with him! Don't apologize for us." The look on the lady's face was PRICELESS! I'd love to have a copy of it hung in the break room. She mumbled something about not understanding how we can stand it when half his coworkers and most of the guests she's met say how much they hate him. Sweetheart, we all know you are lying. He's one of the top performing employees of our store with some of the highest guest compliments given. I've worked with him for over a year and never heard a guest complain about him unless they were upset that he wouldn't bend the rules to fit their fancy. So shut the pie-hole and get out of my store. While she's ranting, I gathered what was left of her cart items and we rang them up for her. She freaks out at this and tells us no, because we are all going to be in trouble and she wasn't buying anything until she talks to the store manager. Then she grabs a bag that was on the counter and acts as though she's going to walk out with it. At this point I say, um, no! "Did she pay for that?" She stops and turns around then brings the unpaid for merchandise back. "Now I'm getting so upset that I forgot I didn't pay. Keep it!" And she throws it down. "Do you want us to hold these items for you to get tomorrow?"
"Yes, I do. You ruined my trip and now I have to start over."
"I remember your name started with a C but can you tell me the name again please, miss?"
"No! I already told you my name today and if you can't remember it, then you are out of luck."
"Well, miss I can't hold them if I don't have a name."
"Too bad. You hold them and remember my name." At this point she begins to walk towards the door. Before she even gets there I tell them to reshop everything. "If we don't have a name, we don't hold the items. Put everything in their carts." She stops at the door and starts yelling something about how we will remember her name tomorrow when we get fired for being such poor Target employees. Everyone was ignoring her though. Why give her the benefit of an audience when the performance was such a poor one? As soon as she was gone, there were high fives and cheers all around. Why? Because we are Target's finest. We don't let people bully us and heavens to Betsy, she wasn't going to ruin our night with anything she had!
The previous night we had a known trouble maker who tries repeatedly to fraud the system with coupons. Well, ma'am, the gig is up. We know your face and MO and its not happening. As a matter of fact, everyone has been warned. You might want to take your business out of town from now on. She always comes in at closing. She doesn't get to the checkout lanes until 5 minutes before closing. She has a stack of coupons, most of which don't match or aren't able to be processed without managers approval. We deny them because of her reputation. She's cursed at least half of the managers out. She is verbally abusive to the cashiers. She hates my guts as I won't leave the front until she does and will have no problem returning her icy stare. She promised to have us fired too. It didn't happen. She claimed Target gave her a $100 gift card. But she didn't spend it, so that's probably bogus too.
Then we have people who think its okay to solicit in the stores. Target is a privately owned company. Target stores are private property. They have a strict No Solicitation policy. You get caught doing it, you will be asked to cease or leave. Get caught a second time, you will most likely be asked to leave. A third time will result in trespass warnings or calling the police to trespass you. Step foot in that store again and you get arrested for violating a trespass warning. This particular guest thinks she should be exempt from that because she's promoting her book and no other guests asked her to stop. She has since screamed at another security guard, yelled at a manager, and now has added the front lanes leader to her "get fired" list. I've got news for you, its not going to happen!
A lesson from the wise... Don't come to Target with your attitude, people! Most especially not at closing time. Don't try to sell other guests something, we don't need your health food books. Don't use and abuse your coupons and you won't make it on our black list. You won't run us down. We just "ain't gonna take it!"