Friday, July 21, 2017

Falling in love with Sasquatch!

No, I'm not a Big Foot fanatic. And my husband, while somewhat hairy, is nowhere near being considered a Sasquatch. He's too short. 

No, I'm referring to the pizza company!
We have tried, and now love, the Sasquatch Pizza Co. In our search for tasty pizzas, full of flavor, we tested out a variety. DiGiorno was our go-to for quite some time. But you get burnt out after a while. My kids always want Tony's (its like cardboard for me). Yes, they are weird ones. My husband discovered the joy of Screamin' Scicilian pizzas next. They have great toppings on theirs. We still love them, but they don't have as much of a variety as we would like. So on we went to try others.
We came across Sasquatch Pizza Co. A pizza that boasts a weight of 3 pounds! They weren't kidding. While most of the weight is in the crust, they have huge slices of pepperoni and chunks of sausage on their supreme version. My husband and I usually finish a whole pizza in one sitting. This one was so heavy, we only finished it because the kids helped! We were stuffed after just a few square slices. But it was so delicious! 
The crust is thick. The sauce has a slight sweetness to it. All the other toppings were in a decent quantity and tasted great. Quite pleased overall with this one! 
So far they only have three flavors, but we would hope to see more of a variety one day! If you happen to give them a try, be sure to share your 'Squatch sightings on their Facebook page! #SquatchOut They are a Walmart exclusive. 

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Getting fit with Post-it!

Okay, so everyone might not be as thrilled as I am to have more Post-it Notes. I'm a bit OCD about my organizational skills. I love to have lists and reminders. My phone, my calendar, my fridge, my husbands desk... I keep notes and lists everywhere. Doesn't mean I always get those things done, or am on time with them, but I do try! And they are helpful. 
I was very happy to be chosen for the Chatterbox pack that promotes Post-it Notes. I was sent these products, free of charge, in order to get the word out about them. I was not otherwise paid or endorsed for my opinions! They are my own and honest to the fullest.
This little paperweight does more than keep my papers in place. It keeps my ideas on the roll!

I'm liking where they are headed with their ad for this product. Its all about setting up goals and working to reach them. What better way to do that than to leave notes about what you want to accomplish and give yourself some encouragement along the way! They have this idea to create a goal board. I love it! I have goals, but all too often I find myself giving up on them. I suffer a setback, a failure, or I fall short of what I aimed for. Next thing I know, I don't want to try anymore. I know that I have to push harder. That giving up won't accomplish anything. Without that steady push and encouragement, however, I slip into the rut of, "Why bother?"

These Super Sticky Post-it Notes can help with just that. They are 42% more likely to stick. So stick them where you know you will see them repeatedly. Where you have no choice but to read and see them often. 

I'm trying to lose weight. I want to do this to improve my health and get more energy. So I'm going to push myself and encourage myself with these. I'm going to place them on the fridge as a reminder to grab water instead of milk to drink.
On the pantry door, they can remind me to eat fruit or veggies or even some nuts before I grab the Nutella and crackers.
On the mirror, one can remind me to put in some squats while I brush my teeth.
And maybe one at the computer to remind me that I need to sit up straight with my feet flat on the floor while I type out my blog posts... 

I'm going to set my goals. And this time, I want to be a Goal Getter! What would you use Post-it Super Sticky Notes for?? 

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Journey to Pain Relief: Hot and Cold

When we suffer pain, we often turn to heating pads or ice packs. But did you know that that might not be the best option? In some ways, it makes things worse. Let me explain. 
I've learned from various medical professionals, that heating pads are tricksters for your pain. It soothes the tension and the warmth lulls you into a false sense of being pain-free. In reality, its a mask that once removed, sends you spiraling as you feel that sudden jolt of sharp discomfort all over again. I do still use the heating pad. It has its time of being needed. My time for using it would be bedtime. I need sleep. I'm not a nice person when I don't get enough sleep. I'm grouchy and irritable. So when you add my lack of sleep to my daily, chronic pain... lets say that I make fire-breathing dragons look like kittens. 
So when I'm feeling especially bad, I will take the heating pad to bed with me. Sometimes, I even wrap it around my lower back, under my shirt to keep it in place in case I roll over in my sleep. 

The one I have, I love! I have the SoftHeat heating pad. Mine has three settings of heat. And it turns itself off after a while. The one I linked to, actually has been updated from my older one to have 4 settings of heat. Walgreens also has a deluxe model that straps on. Getting fancy! Though they cost the same. Usually, I'm asleep before it turns off. I also love that it has a washable cover that comes off with a snap. And the best bonus to this? Being a natural popsicle, this also ensures I won't be shivering in my bed! Hey hey! I like to turn it on, set it in bed under the blanket, get ready for bed, and finally lay down feeling warm. Just remember, I'm fully aware that my pain will return in the morning with my consciousness. For now, its a short term fix to get more, restful sleep. 

Now to talk about ice. Ice is actually better for your muscular pains. For me though, I feel like it freezes everything so while I'm on it, I have that same relief as in the heating pad arena. I used this when I would have to sit for hours at my desk job. The problem I had, was when I would try to stand up and walk after being chilled. I would tense up and stumble awkwardly until everything got loose again. 
How do we get these two to work in our favor? My chiropractor actually told me to alternate. You do 15-20 minutes of heat, then 15-20 of ice, and finish with 15-20 minutes of a break. It was a release pattern. Didn't help much, but I chalked it up to being pregnant and nothing would work during that time. I found this article that gives lots of details and information on making the most of your treatments with heating pads and ice packs. This type of treatment might not work for everyone. It sometimes does good for my back pains though. Always worth a shot, right? Let me know your thoughts on these methods in the comments below! 

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Family Photos with Bast Creative!

This week, a friend of mine did something amazing. He took some family photos for us. Sure, anyone can use a camera, right? Hmm... no. Not in the way he did. Luis Basurto is an incredibly creative guy. Thus, he has started his own business, Bast Creative. He has degrees in Communication Design. And he is quite passionate about it. He loves it! And now he is finally branching out. Finally sharing his talent outside of his day job. 

He was incredibly patient. Setting up a time that worked with everyones schedule was tricky, but he made it work. We chose an evening and a destination, Hemisphere Park. He brought the gear, I brought the family.


He also captured my family as we are, and not as people think we should look for those "family pictures". You know the kind. Where everyone is stiff, posed, and "perfect". I'll be the first to admit, those pictures might look nice, but they aren't real. With four kids, it can be difficult. And chances of getting it just right are very slim. Luis let us do our own thing. And what came from it, was beautiful! It is us. 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, these pictures tell our story. They show us, just as we are. I highly recommend Luis Basurto at Bast Creative. For photography, for design. He does it all. And he does it well. Check out his website here. He is also on Facebook. And don't hesitate to tell me what you think!

Monday, July 10, 2017

The Journey of Seeking Pain Relief

I recently wrote about trying to see the good while plagued with pain. The comments I received on that post gave me such encouragement! 
Pain is a fickle matter. It cannot be definitively measured, no matter how science tries. Each individual struggles with what their maximum limit is. Take for example, James Bond. Last movie I saw him in, he was getting his balls hit and still asking for more.
Okay, okay. I jest. But lets peek into reality for a moment. Everyone has their limits. Everyone responds to treatments differently. 
As I have mentioned before, I've been on over the counter pills for quite some time. Since getting pregnant in February of 2016, to be exact. Before that, I was taking pain injection (steroid?) shots. However, those were doing nothing since I was taking them on a day in the middle of my 4-ten hour shifts while working for Amazon. The shots require you to take one, rest for a couple days, and then resume life. Didn't help too, that they had me taking them once a week instead of upping the dose so I could go longer between them. My Nana was given the ones that were supposed to last a month. She always said she was lucky if the pain relief made it to two weeks. These shots are administered directly where your pain originates. For me, that was in the area right above a pinched nerve. This pinched nerve is above a slipped disc. That disc rests on two others that are degenerating. Yes, I'm literally falling apart here. So the doctors would numb the injection site. Then using a real time x-ray machine, they inject the medication in the bubble around the nerve. I admit that I only felt a sharp pinch and then sudden calm. For the rest of the day, I felt slightly tired and sore. But if I rested the next day, I had some relief for a while. Working for Amazon, though great as far as a job goes, did not help my back. The constant motion and heavy work was degrading my bones further. So I quit there and was given an administrative job that lasted a good year before I was laid off. 
That brings me to now. I have exhausted Ibuprofen and Tylenol. They no longer affect the pain levels I feel. They take care of headaches, but not the spinal strains. 
So what can a person do? I've been trying other methods. And I think it is about time I start sharing them. I'll write several posts. A series, if you will, of my journey seeking relief. And before anyone asks, no, I won't be trying recreational drugs. I have heard about their help. But I'd rather suffer than take that route. And no, I won't drink myself stupid to drown out my sorrows. Because then I wake up to four kids, reality and probably a mess... That, and I just don't drink much.  

I want to help others who are in the same boat as me. I know we are limited, but at the same time I feel that there has to be more. We just have to hope and keep searching. So here goes! My journey to pain relief starts now. Join me in it!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Seeking the bright side through the darkness

Every cloud has a silver lining, right? Every darkness finds light. Through the rain, comes freshness and growth. From the clouds come protection from the glaring sun, granting us relief from its unrelenting heat. You also have sayings like, "Everything happens for a reason" or "The is a purpose to everything". 

Then you have the clouds of life.  
  
When I lost my job, I lost a steady paycheck of considerable amount, but I gained a way to stay home with my kids. To be a full time mom again. Less money, but more to life.
I've lost the ability to be a biker, but I found one less thing to put me in danger and keep me around my kids longer.

I try to see the bright side to everything I face. To stay positive in the face of negativity. It's not easy. For me, it's harder than childbirth. I'm struggling to find the silver lining to my near-constant pain. To see how it will do good for myself or someone else. How do my migraines benefit anyone? How does the inflammation of a pinched nerve serve a higher purpose than to remind me of my brokenness? How will such a debilitating disease produce positive results around me? I have been asking myself these questions every day for the past week now. I wake up in pain, I go to sleep in pain. And for what? I am still waiting to know the  answer. 

When I was a child facing spinal fusion, I had an answer. I could show courage in the face of uncertainty. I was afraid of what could happen. Paralysis or death could have been the end result for me. But I was at peace. I thought that God had a purpose and could use me to tell His story to family and friends. I'm a medical anomaly. Four doctors in my life have point blank told me that I was scientifically weird. A freak of nature. That I should have felt pain, when I didn't. That I shouldn't be as I was. That I shouldn't have had what I did. That fevers are how things are measured, yet I've never experienced one. I'm the exception they use to write medical journal entries from. I'm the textbook example of what you hope to never encounter. Their student doctors had a field day when I came in. But how about now? I have no insurance or money to see a doctor. Otherwise I'd say God was using me to show science what they weren't able to imagine. Or what they hypothesized, but had no hard documentation for. So what am I good for? Or is it that I'm building up a special case for the day they do my autopsy? 
Let's say that I'm not supposed to benefit someone. What if I'm to learn a lesson? What lesson is it? I think I've mastered pain management 101. My daily pain level is no less than 4. My level 4 is a normal person’s level 1. I have to hit an 8 or 9 before I tap the pain pills and even then, I have to tell myself they are helping in order for them to do any good. I'm using over the counter drugs to battle something beyond their means. So what else do I have to learn? Patience? Oh yeah, I've got a healthy dose of that too. Comes from having 4 kids.
And then I sometimes ask if this is all part of a punishment? People say there is karma. What goes around, comes around. So if that was the case, what did I do to deserve it? What crime did I commit to live my life like this? And how can I fix it? I repent daily for my wrong doings. I make no bones about being a sinner. 

"I don't fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach." 
~ Mary Roach 

I don't fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach. Mary Roach
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/maryroach694746.html?src=t_pain
I don't fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach. Mary Roach
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/maryroach694746.html?src=t_pain
You know what truly makes matters worse? I'm not even 30 years old yet. So when I talk about what I feel or about how I'm built like an 80 year old on the inside, people think I'm being funny. That it's a joke. My great grandmother understood though. She didn't laugh at me when I talked about it. When I told her how much it hurt, she was feeling the same way. And she always told me, "Welcome to the club. It only gets worse from here." Back then, I thought, “Oh great, thanks for the encouragement.” But now, I understand. She was being the most sincere anyone could've been. I will never forget the day I told her I was diagnosed with arthritis at the age of 15 as a side effect to my spinal fusion. She told me she was so sorry. That life would get harder so much earlier for me than it did for her. She had worked manual labor jobs all her life. So it wasn't until her late 60's and on that she truly started to fall apart. At first I thought I could fight my fate. I worked out daily. I fought to keep in shape and tried to build muscle in my back. And I thought it was working. Up until a couple years ago. But now I feel like it's just catching up to me. I'm trying to work out and get back in shape. But the more I do, the more I hurt. I tell myself - no pain, no gain. But is it harming me more? 

Always dream and shoot higher than you know how to.
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
~ William Faulkner

I can barely stand upright some days. I freeze and crumple when bending over or reaching for something high. Picking up my daughter pulls the muscles between my shoulder blades tight enough to make me want to cry. After standing with her for 10 minutes, I can't do it anymore. I can't even take in deep breaths right now without a sharp pulling. If I turn my head too far, or at a certain angle, I get lightheaded. Randomly, I will start to have numbness and tingling in my limbs. And the lack of sleep it is causing has me feeling less than nice. I don't want to talk to anyone on a friend’s level. I put on my retail disguise. I don't want to move. I don't want to do anything. I'm so tired of pretending for everyone around me that I'm doing just fine. I will continue to. But I don't want to. This mask I wear is getting worn out. This is not who I want to be. I want to be the mom that chases her children around in a game of tag at the park. I want to take them on roller coaster rides. I want to learn to rock wall climb. I was going to teach them to ride motorcycles so we could one day go together like I did with my parents. I want to work out with my husband. These things are no longer within reach for me. These dreams are being taken away from me. 

You see things; and you say, "Why?"
But I dream things that never were;
and I say, "Why not?
 
~ George Bernard Shaw

I told my husband that I will no longer answer his questions regarding my back, pain or how I slept. He agreed not to ask them anymore. Logically speaking, there is nothing he or I can do to change it. So why talk about it and add the “one day” wish to it. One day it will get fixed. One day it will be better. So let’s agree to not discuss it further until “one day” arrives. On the flip side, by doing this, it felt like I had closed off a part of me to him. He’s known from the beginning that I was broken. Deformed. But until now, it didn’t have such a strong bearing on my life. I try to lighten the tone by joking about it not being too late to bail. I still feel, however, that the life we wanted might not be attainable.So what do I do? I'm pushing to make his dreams a reality. At least one of us should accomplish something. And that someone won't be me at this point.He at least has the confidence and ability to pursue his dreams.
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

So I want to know. What am I missing? Looking in, what do you see that I can't? What detail have I overlooked? What bright side have I lost in the darkness? According to a really good friend of mine, maybe its not about me at all. Maybe it is to teach my children what true love, strength, courage, and determination are. By my pushing through this and still providing them all that I can, I am leading by example. According to my husband, maybe it will help me relate to and assist someone else later down the road who is going through the same thing. Either way, both of them told me I have to wait, have faith, and know there is a reason behind it all.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The volcano in the diaper

This morning had a scene that could've been pulled from slapstick comedy. Baby girl had had quite the diaper dilemma. As my title reveals, her rear end turned into a volcano that erupted to the point of diaper failure. As the smell reached me, I grabbed a new diaper and wipes thinking I'd do a quick change. But she had a huge surprise awaiting me. I pulled her single-handedly from the walker she so happily was enjoying and did a Mom maneuver that would put me Indian-style on the floor with her on my leg and diaper and wipes on the floor next to us. It was at this point that I realized she felt a little wet. I thought she had spit up her bottle again and that it had gotten on her leg. But as I looked down, while shifting her to the prone position  on the new rug in front of me, I noticed the color of digested greens all over her feet. My eyes took in the full spectrum of the mess. It was on her feet, legs, her clothes, my pants, my foot, the walker, and a lovely, large pile on the floor. Now we just bought this rug using funds gifted to us by his sister for our wedding present. And of all places to leak, she did so on the white part of the red, gray and white patterned rug.
From that moment on, was a comedic series of events. My husband was dumbfounded as he came to see why I was suddenly calling out the baby's name in surprise. He told me to tell him what to do because he was at a loss. At this point is when my brain kicked in again and I was able to formulate a strategy to battle the mess. I told him to grab a bag. I immobilized the baby and starting cleaning her up a bit. I had him scooping up what he could and dumping it into the bag. Then came the time to spray and scrub the floor. I told him a bath was required for this level of dirtiness. To spray the spot heavily and I would get to it when I finished cleaning the baby up. Especially since he had just gotten home from working over night and needed to eat before heading to bed.
He of course took it on by himself though. I got in the tub and commenced scrubbing feces from myself and the little lady. I called for his assistance and he told me the rug might need to be thrown out. 

"Is it not coming out with the cleaner?", I queried.
"I don't have high hopes." Not the answer I was hoping to hear. I paid good money for our rug. I liked that rug. I wasn't willing to scrap it at the first accident. Then I start questioning him about how bad it really was and came to find that it wasn't entirely the fact there was a slight stain left. It was because of what had caused the stain that left him feeling uneasy about the continued use of the rug. 
So typical of a new dad! Or of a man in general. The thought that crap was on the rug, bothered him more than the fact that there was a slight stain. The latter bugs me, because I'm OCD about stuff like that. Its at this point, though, that I start laughing. And I inform him that I'm not throwing it away just like that. I will do what I can to get rid of the stain and that he will have to get used to bodily fluids that can leave stains. After all. We have a 7 month old baby. She will make messes. And he will come to find that unless he has an endless supply of money flowing, you have to get over it. 
After finally getting her cleaned up, we checked the rug. Yes, there is a slightly darker shade on part of the rug.
Its clean though! After all that, she ended up throwing up on the rug repeatedly throughout the day. It won't remain pristine. Nothing does when you have kids. Why else do I tell him often, "This is why parents can't have nice things!" But its worth the hassle. We do what we do for our babies. No matter the mess. No matter the frustration. No matter the smells, sights, and exhaustion that accompany them. We do all from unconditional love. 
Now that I have shared, I'm curious. How many of you have such stories or experiences you have gone through?