Pains of motherhood

Today was the day. The day my younger son went under for a procedure meant to save his hearing. About a month or so ago, we took him in for a hearing check up when he didn't pass the one his pediatrician did. They found that he had a hard build up in front of his ear drums that prevented him from hearing well. His education was suffering as a result. So the specialist recommended that we try to remove the blockage.
As a mother, I balked at the suggestion. Even though it's outpatient, there are risks. But it had to be done.

I didn't put much thought to it until the day of. I wanted to stay positive. He acted a little frightened when we talked about it the night before. His attitude has been a resilient one though. My little trooper! I find I get strength from him. My stomach twists in knots, but I continued to make jokes and offer him encouragement throughout the process of paperwork and questions. We joked about wearing matching bracelets.

And about what food we will eat when we leave. My poor guy hadn't eaten since dinner last night around 5:30 pm. So he was starving!
When we went to the back, we had Nurse Rose. She was so sweet. Gave  me a warm blanket (I'm a popsicle) and gave him some crayons and coloring pages. It definitely helped to ease the passing of time while we waited. While he colored, we talked about the picture and the hospital. It helped me through the process especially. My heart was glad that he wasn't showing signs of anxiety. 

We had to be there at 9:45 AM. Surgery was scheduled at 10:45 AM. They didn't come get him until noon.As a mother, this hurt me. My little guy loves to eat. He is hungry often. And the fact he had to go so long without... I wanted to jump down some throats. But I had to refrain. 
Then the doctor comes by at noon to let us know what will happen. After they take him, it takes roughly 10 minutes for the procedure. Then 30 for the recovery. Allen asked me to set the timer up. So I did. From the time they took him until we were reunited was 56 minutes. Can you imagine how wound up my nerves were?! My mother can. She was texting me while I waited. I had three ear-related surgeries as a child. I also had my tonsils and adenoids removed at age 2. Then I had 3 major spinal operations. Did I stress my mother? You bet. And at least once, my dad cried. Especially when "complications" happened. How many of you parents have heard that word and your heart sank within you? It is a sucker punch, no matter what words follow. Your mind races as you struggle to hear what else they are saying. And that is precisely where I was when the doctor finally came out to talk to me. There were complications in the removal of the blockage. But at last, he had success. Then he tells me they will be coming to get me soon to go back to recovery. Yeah... of course. Fast forwarded to the nurse finally making her way to me, I go back to see my baby still passed out and hooked up to oxygen with a tube down his throat.

Just hit me already. They try to remove the tube, and Allen suddenly has a moment of wakefulness. He jerks upright, eyes wide, gasping and struggling against the nurses. His mouth clamped over the tube, teeth holding it in place. We are all telling him to release his hold and open his mouth. They start pulling on it, trying to pry it out. I stand slightly behind them, hoping he hears me and calms down. Hoping he sees me and knows everything is okay. Part of me chokes. I'm watching my child in his frightened discomfort and I'm helpless to assist him.
This is what mothers do. This is what we live for. Striving to give them the best in life, but watching their moments of dismay, pain, fear. And doing everything we can to help them through it. When we finally got through that, he slowly came to. I got a small wave that reminded me of how a drunk waves. After some apple juice, he regained his voice. His mouth had been dried out and chapped. He wasn't fully smiling and laughing, but he wasn't in pain. They hand over the discharge papers and read over warnings and things to watch for. Bleeding? Dizziness and light-headedness seemed right. Fever and vomiting I understood. But bleeding from his ears?! 
I'm so glad it is over now. That he is done and has been doing exceptionally well all the rest of today. Tomorrow he will go back to school and I look forward to hearing all about it. Because that is what truly makes me happy. Having my babies safe and healthy.

Who needs Monday?

Is it just me, or do most Mondays suck? Even more so after a weekend that is bittersweet. We had a great time with Free Comic Book Day, but we also had sickness to battle. My 7 year old left school on Friday, throwing up and feverish.

That afternoon and night he seemed to sleep it off. Saturday we had fun. Saturday night into Sunday morning, right back to the grind. This is a crazy illness. No other symptoms beyond vomiting and fever. Plus it is sudden. Saturday night my oldest and my 4 year old simultaneously began vomiting. Between running back and forth to each child, running up and down the stairs with laundry, and then waking up to a sick fiance who left work early from the same illness... I'm ready for today to end  already. And it's only just after 3PM! Amazingly enough, they are acting as though they had a full recovery. Playing, yelling, and being their normal selves. My fiance... not so much. He's still struggling against his fever and a queasy stomach. 
I also have the other kids I'm watching today. With them, lots of snotty nose-wiping. 

So I propose that we skip Monday and go straight to Tuesday. No one needs it, right? Right?! What about you? Are you a Monday person? Glad for the weekend to be over so you can be around people again?

Or do you dread it like the plague?

Less than 30 days and counting down!

We are moving closer to the big day! And I'm so excited. I still have a project to finish and only... 27 days left?! But I will get there. One step at a time. My fiance is building 2 pillars to hold the flower vases that will grace either side of the ceremony stage. 

I have started storing everything we need in a box.

I'm even bringing light sabers and masks (among other props) for the green screen.

Our bubble wands look great. They are ready for use!

I put the lights in the galaxy jars. Can't wait to set these up.

And the best addition yet! My dad made a customized ring for my fiance. My trekkie will have one to fit his style "for now and always" as we always say.

I also got to see my wedding band. My fiance pulled it out upon my request. I didn't get a picture, but will do later. For now, I will say its a beautiful silver with the Wonder Woman symbol on the front and the inscription we say to each other often, "For now and always" inside. Its perfect for me! He really wanted to make me something special like I did for him. So what do I have left? I have to finish the music playlist, which I plan to add to YouTube so I can share it here. I have to paint the flower vases, put the flowers together and then make my bouquet (easier said than done). I also saw a couple pictures of the wedding dress. I can't describe how excited I am about it! Its looking beautiful. Very soon we will be at the day of our lives!

One of the most fun weeks in the year!

I love the first week in May. You have Star Wars Day, then we have Free Comic Book Day! Its a blast! 

I hope you all enjoyed Star Wars Day. We did. Sadly, my older kids were in school. But we took my girls and the kids I've been babysitting up there. We saw cosplayers dressed as a Storm Trooper, Darth Vader, a Rebel soldier, and Kylo Ren.

They also had a life-sized BB-8 and R2-D2.

Those two were AMAZING! And even cooler - remote controlled! If I had money to blow, I'd probably want to build myself one. But $8,000 is a lot of moolah to spend on what falls under the toy category. 

 Today we had our Free Comic Book Day adventures. I pulled out the Steampunk gear. I thought I might make myself into the Scarlet Witch with a Steampunk twist.

Either way, its going to be loads of fun! And we hit up at least 2 comic stores.

There were some amazing comics to grab today. We got all the ones we were hoping for. Most of all - Star Trek, Zelda, Wonder Woman. We saw the Dead Pool car. Talk about a hot looking ride! 

Can't wait for next years events!

Don't we all love being Mother's?!

Mother's Day is almost upon us. It is that one day every year that is dedicated to showing our love and affection for our moms. Typical ways we do so? Take them to dinner, buy them gifts, send them a card. 

Once a year isn't nearly enough to pour out our love and show them how much we appreciate them. How we are thankful for all they have done. I mean think about it...
We spend 9-10 months growing them and losing our shape. We take anywhere from 6 hours to several days in labor. Then the next 18 years are to grow them into adults. Or just keep them alive. That is a full time job in itself. Because kids are dangerous, little bio-hazard, stunt devils. They collect illnesses like we adults collect comic books or silver grams. They think they can climb walls because Spider-Man does or fly like Super Man. We are constantly chasing them, constantly wiping noses, or admonishing them.  
We wash clothes nearly daily. Dishes multiply almost as soon as you clean the "last" one. Diapers have to be changed. The list goes on. And that's just so they can stay clean and healthy. Then you have things like teaching them to speak. Teaching them manners. Leading them by example to live like upstanding citizens. 

So this Mother's Day, I want you all to take a deep breath and have a moment of peace. Sleep in if you can. Have someone else take care of cooking for a day (if you are able). And remember that someone will one day see everything you are doing and be thankful for it! Hopefully.... 

Happy Mother's Day!

You know you've found your match when...

So my fiance and I are still going through our premarital counseling sessions. We have learned a great deal that brings us closer together. And the last session was probably the best one so far! The first time we went in, the counselor had asked us both to fill out this double-sided page. The first side was attributes we think fit us closest. There were 4 rows. A, B, C, D going from left to right and then words under each row going down. Our task was to pick the word going left to right in each row that fit us best. Then at the bottom of that, we were to tally up how many per row. That would tell us what personality we had the most. Then you flip the paper over and there are 4 boxes. Each box has a list of about 6 things. You have to read each list and number them 1-4 with 1 being the set of characteristics you find most needed and 4 being the least. This is all from the CORE MAP evaluation.
My fiance did his, I did mine. And on our latest visit, we finally reached the point of discussing our personality styles. Our results as to our own individual character traits, were nearly identical. Our needs were identical. The counselor was so surprised by these results. In his 10 years of being a marriage counselor, he has only had 2 couples (one being us) to have such results. And due to the  nature of our relationship, he was able to verify that my second chance brought me to better choices with my partner. You see, my first husband was the exact opposite of me in character. And as they say, opposites attract. But as the counselor pointed out, they are attractive in the beginning because  they are everything we may wish to be.

I can say from experience, this is true. It doesn't mean that opposites can't work out. He and his wife are total opposites. They key lies in understanding those differences and how to mesh them together. The same goes for your needs. You have to understand each others needs. And follow up that line of thinking with their values. Seeing that my needs in a relationship matched his to a T made me happy. We both follow in the same lines. As for our personalities, there are 4 types; Commander, Organizer, Relater, Entertainer = CORE.

I am an Organizer/Commander. Though my Commander personality is probably tied to the way I've lived all my life. I've always had a reason to be the one to step up and take charge. I've always had to look out for someone. But I'm crazy about being organized. These personality traits are also divided by the sides of the brain they reside in. Organizers are introverted. Commanders are extroverted. When I need to take charge or be included in a team effort, I can portray my extroverted self. But I'm more comfortable being shy and hidden as an introvert. My fiance is more of the Relater. He seeks peace and harmony with all involved. Being the man of the house, however, he knows he has to take charge and lead with authority. But even in doing so, he also accepts that there are things I'm more qualified to take over on. I'll just be sure to run it by him and accept that his decision is the final word.
Through these lessons, we are learning where boundaries lie. Where our strengths as a couple reside, as well as where we need to work to be better. For as the Bible says, when two get married, they leave father and mother and become one together. This is what we are striving towards.

Mother's Day is on its way!

I don't have much money these days, so I am trying my hand at making gifts for the Nana's and Nona in our lives. Gotta admit, I'm no good at crafting. If it weren't for the fact that these are done mostly by the kids, I'd have thrown them away instead of trying to wrap them up for the recipients... Well, that and I don't know what else to do.

I got out the left over modge podge from creating the galaxy jars. Then I got some glitter. These packs are actually meant for nail art, but hey, glitter is glitter right? And then boom! We have craft and messy time.



What are you doing for Mother's Day? What special plans do you have? What gift ideas did you plan on for this year?