Mother's Day is on its way!

I don't have much money these days, so I am trying my hand at making gifts for the Nana's and Nona in our lives. Gotta admit, I'm no good at crafting. If it weren't for the fact that these are done mostly by the kids, I'd have thrown them away instead of trying to wrap them up for the recipients... Well, that and I don't know what else to do.

I got out the left over modge podge from creating the galaxy jars. Then I got some glitter. These packs are actually meant for nail art, but hey, glitter is glitter right? And then boom! We have craft and messy time.



What are you doing for Mother's Day? What special plans do you have? What gift ideas did you plan on for this year?

Prosper and live long, you must!

See what I did there? If you didn't, that's okay. Not everyone speaks geek. 

Star Wars Day is on May 4th. Its May the Fourth (be with you), actually. My family had a little help from my dear friend Mary in preparing for this day! She brought over some Lego Star Wars Yoda ear hats. During a moment of bonding with my future nerdlings, we decided to take pictures and be our silly selves together. I also determined it was time for a new couple selfie with my fiance.

While doing so, I noticed that he was wearing his Star Trek shirt (one of them). While I'm wearing my Star Wars shirt (my only one). So when he went to take my picture with the kids, I went ahead and did the Vulcan hand sign we know so well from our beloved Spock. All the while, telling my Trekkie husband-to-be, "Prosper and live long, you must!"

His smile, combined with the laughter of my children, made my afternoon perfect.

Moments like these erase all the worry and fears of life. They are the mountain tops in the path of my life's walk. Tomorrow, I might find myself in a valley once again. And I will look back at this brief glimpse of beauty that will drive me to push harder towards the next wonderful memory. 

Chin up, Moms! This is what true happiness looks like. 

Happy Star Wars Day!

Living better, inside and out

We are still attending our pre-marital counseling. I'm really glad that we were required to do this. I can't tell you how much it has helped while going through the problems of life. You can love someone and respect them. You can be willing to share your life with that person. Then something happens and you are tested. And that's been me. So much has happened this year. I think January might be the only month that has gone well for us so far, with the exception of illness that seemed like it would not end. Every month after that has had some kind of heartache. Some kind of problem. And boy, do I not respond so well to some kinds of stress. I shut down. I clam up. And I wish to be left utterly alone in the darkness. All because I feel as though sharing would be a burden.
Through our sessions with the counselor, we have learned what each others' love languages are. We know how to respond to each other and to make listening our priority. Have you ever been told that you can listen and not hear what is truly being said? How many times do you find yourself doing just that? My fiancé is amazing. But he came to realize that though he knew what he was talking about in response to the stress in my life, he wasn't truly hearing what I was saying. He wasn't understanding the emotions behind the words. And now I'm also learning to understand his emotions.

This is how it works. I say something to him. Something about the things going on in my life. He watches my body language, hears the tone, and then the words. Then he asks if I'm feeling this or that emotion because of blah blah blah that I said.
Me: "I need to lose 30 pounds. I'm getting too fat."
Him: "You feel like you are overweight because you can't fit into your clothes still?"
Me: "Yes!"

He pieces together the other things I have said with what I just said. So now I know he is listening AND understanding. And now I'm learning to return such a behavior. He isn't giving me anymore of that, "You are beautiful no matter what," crap that I hate hearing. Its true for him. He will love me no matter what happens and what I look like. I, however, will not. I will dread looking into the mirror. And looking in my closet will be depressing.

In addition to this, we have made a pledge to each other, and have our counselor backing us up by keeping us accountable, in working out. He recommended the book, Body for Life. We each wrote down why we are working towards this goal. My reasons aren't superficial. I don't want to look like a supermodel. I have a Mom's bod. And that is okay. But I also carry genes for hereditary heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure. I could go on. Women in my family have shown difficulty keeping their weight at a managed point. They struggle with weight loss. And death by heart failure is pretty common on my Mom's side of the family. So yes, getting fit and eating healthy has always been a goal. But lately, more so. Now I have the added stress of not being able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothing. Do you know how frustrating it is to have 1 pair of jeans, 2 skirts and a handful of black tee shirts that fit? I'm wearing them over and over again. I'm washing those same handful of things every few days. Because I can't fit anything else! And because I can't afford to buy new clothes. I want to be able to wear my skinny clothes again. I want to stay healthy. And I want to see my kids grow up. I'm nearly 30 years old. My body is slowing down. I don't burn that weight off like I did in my childhood or teens. I don't work off those extra calories as fast as I ingest them. So we made an agreement together. We are working out. 3 days a week, we do cardio. 3 days a week, we do weight training. And Sundays we rest. I'm also starting to look for healthier meal ideas.

But above all, we are also working out in the word of God. We want to be fit in our physical forms, but also in our spiritual walk. Our relationship is steadily growing in so many facets. I love it! Despite what life has been tossing at us, we are standing together, stronger than ever. Even with the most recent news that hit us like a brick wall, we are ready to stand together in the face of life and steel ourselves for the force it throws at us. We will endure. No matter what. And not just as a couple. We are also pouring in the effort of teaching our children God's word and Christian values. It is not easy, but it shows others when they are away from home that they are loved and respectful. That they have values. Little by little, our family is becoming stronger. Inside and out.

A failing system leads to devastation

We all know that the government and most of the current systems they have in place are no longer functional. There are guidelines meant to blanket everyone that do not have provisions for those in special circumstances. Take for instance, unemployment.

Unemployment is meant to help you get back on your feet after being let go from a job, usually through no fault of your own. A company will pay you a percentage of what they did before until you get another job. This is done through a government-run agency, however, so there are rules to get these benefits. These rules are created in the hopes that people won’t stay lazy and soak up those benefits indefinitely. Good in theory, bad in action. How so? Here is the break down.

You lose your job, you apply for unemployment. If granted, or awarded, those benefits – you will have to do several things to get money and keep getting money. You are required to be 100% available any time of day for any job you are offered. You are required to do a minimum of 5 job search activities per week. You are required to request your payments every two weeks. You are required to register for a Work in Texas (or your state) account and use it to supplement your normal job searches. You are required to attend an unemployment orientation class. You are required to meet with an unemployment agent at Work Force. They will make suggestions on changes to your resume, how to cheat the system on applying for jobs you might not have the skills for, and jobs they think you should look into.

If you don’t maintain your Work in Texas account by checking it at least twice a week, don’t do 5 work activities per week, and turn down a job based on availability… You lose your unemployment benefits. You have to have child care set up already. You have to have reliable transportation at all times. You have to accept any job offered. Don’t aim high. You’re a beggar. Beggars can’t be choosers.

This is the system! So I turned down a job. The job had 3 schedule options. All options would only work if I wasn’t sharing a vehicle with my fiancé. His car was totaled right before I lost my job in March. So my job searches are for the following:

1.       An administrative job. Due to my back issues, I can’t do manual labor jobs.

2.       A schedule ranging through – Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday 8AM-8PM and Tuesdays, Thursdays 8AM-2PM. My fiancé works overnight, so I have to consider his work schedule while we share my van. He’s also in school on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. I would have to be home by 3PM on those afternoons.

3.       I also don’t want to take a job that pays less than $11 an hour. That is how much I get on unemployment. $14 an hour is what I made while working. And that amount covered my bills. The job I was offered was for $8.60 an hour.

So why haven’t they changed things? I mean, look at how many people are unemployed. Can you not see there is something wrong with how it works? More so, how do you expect people to get out of debt and back on their feet?

Simple. The government is run by out of touch, rich people. Their only talents are to point their fingers and pass the blame. Then scratch their heads at why things aren’t getting better. Why the rate is rising and the economy is steadily dropping? How long ago has this department been created? And besides making the length of time longer than one qualifies for it, what other adjustments have been made?

So here is my current dilemma. I can file an appeal and have them go over my information again. But according to them, not having adequate childcare or access to a vehicle is a personal issue. Or I can tell them that my situation has changed and now I am able to have someone watch my kids, making me available at any given time. They will take my next payment that they determined I "owe" and pay me another couple hundred two weeks later. In the meantime, what am I to do? How do I get gas? How do I pay the electric bill? The water? I'm UNEMPLOYED! I have no income. No job. And 4 kids. Where is this working system we so desperately need??

Its like a crack in the windshield. Starts off small and centralized, but slowly spreads to the entire windshield. So starts a faulty system within the whole.
What are your thoughts?